DSP Thread: Bugged Forum mechanics

[Guest]

I'm sure Microsoft hires engineers by hanging a "Help Wanted" sign in the window of their Redmond HQ.

Change help wanted to "मदद चाहता था" and you're spot on.

[rabidtictac]

>Complains about nothing but retail jobs in Washington state.

Nah m8, that might fly in shithole states like Ohio but you're in a big silicon valley type state.

There's also a lot of health care jobs in Washington and Oregon.

[Keith Chegwin]

Phil is tarded. He's not working at Micro$oft or in health care. I'd say he's not even fit to clean the toilets at Micro$oft

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

But maybe the toilets at some fast food joint.

[Guest]

But maybe the toilets at some fast food joint.

That would be slightly a step up from his wife bagging groceries at Albertsons.

[Angelfire Memes]

Phil gets an adrenaline rush so big from doing laundry that he can't sleep. He doesn't have the physical conditioning to scrub floors. I'm struggling to think of a job he's qualified for.

Warehouse work? No, he struggles to lift a gallon of milk.
Cleaner? No, he considers walking around the house strenuous exercise.
Customer service? No. *Snort*
Uber driver? No, he refuses to drive on highways.
Office job? No, hasn't worked in 10 years.

Yet he thinks he's going to walk into a mid-level management role at Microsoft or Boeing.

[Keith Chegwin]

I'm struggling to think of a job he's qualified for.

Crushing glass. He can crush glass just fine

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

He can always open an authentic Italian restaurant.

Uber driver? No, he refuses to drive on highways.

Don't forget that it also hurts his back.

[rabidtictac]

His back, which we have to remember, we have only his word was a) caused by a car accident and b) was diagnosed as a herniated disc. We've, in all the years since that (((diagnosis))), seen no evidence of any such thing. He even claimed the Seattle air "fixed" his back. He now claims his back is "mostly" rehabilitated, which I don't even know what the fuck that means. He still rocks constantly and he still can't walk and won't walk more than about 30 feet. He bitches about having to drive to pick up his mail at the front of his gated community. This nigga won't even walk in his gated community. Every time he's ever filmed anything, the swaying gave me seasickness. He even rocks autistically while sitting during prestream. You can hear the audio levels go up and down as you listen. If you ask him why he rocks, in the past he said it was because of pain from his back. I think the rocking is just another 'tism tic, but IF you believe him, it doesn't sound like his back is any better at all.

He claims his back hurts too much to shovel snow and that lifting groceries hurts his back. But then he'll turn around and tell his prestream audience that his back is *mostly* all healed. Delusional narcissism.

I think there never was a back injury. He has shit posture and never exercises. I think he faked an injury in that car accident to get a settlement and has been faking ever since. This isn't a new theory to me. Too much about the back injury story doesn't line up. The things he claims were caused by the back injury (rocking, refusal to drive, refusal to lift things) happened before his back injury too. There is no fucking way he has a herniated disc or any other serious back injury. This pigroach bitches about everything and there is no way on this planet that he would endure extreme back pain without crying to the world. He probably has mild pain as a result of bad posture and no exercise.

[Angelfire Memes]

He can always open an authentic Italian restaurant.

That I'd like to see. All customers first have to pay for the individual cost of each ingredient plus taxes before ordering, then pay at the end again. Tipping is mandatory. The same menu every day for 10 years. None of the staff are paid a penny. The only patrons are literally retarded furries, rednecks and other assorted degenerates.