Asalieri thread

[AngrySpoonySnob]

Yeah why isnt this called the Fatsolieri topic?

[sanicvr00m]

I propose "that lolcow with the landwhale"

[Le Redditeur]

Remember when Asalieri got buttmad that he wasn't accepted on Reviewtopia? Haha, those were the times.

[da PAC Nigguh]

Ah, Reviewtopia. He shouldn't have set such lofty goals. Gotta crawl before you can run, man.

[Kugelfisch]

In all fairness mad bum, I do a better job than you guys at least.

That would be a sick burn if your internet relevance wasn't the same as your IRL relevance and it boiling down being known as some cunt that nobody can stay friends with for long.

[Some Sick Fuck]

I knew y'all wouldn't be able to resist if I made you relevant for a few minutes ha ha ha! I'm outtie.

Who are you again? You better not be Assa in disguise, that better be some guest just trolling.

That guy can't be this thirsty for attention - he's like a failed experiment, even spergs don't want to have anything to do with him. Haha, you guys are sooo jealous for all the attention I'm getting, I've totally showed you! Spoken like a true internet nobody.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Reviewtopia was to be his Notch interview, man. Now the guy's such old news that the printing press hasn't been invented yet.

I propose "that lolcow with the landwhale"

The Anti-Mathemagician Club.

[Guest]

Can we get this out of the way and clarify if Asalieri's missus is a fat tranny, or just fat? I'm asking for an angry, snobbish, spoonish friend.

She's so fat she had such low estrogen that her doctor had to see if she grew a penis.

[Le Redditeur]

The sad part is, the guy shouldn't be completely hopeless - Asalieri speaks at least four languages (Spanish, English, Portuguese, German), so he does have that going for him, a certain amount of intelligence. He's not hopelessly stupid like our favorite valedictorian Phil Burnell, or our least favorite Antwiller brother Spoony. Had he put that knowledge to good use instead of trying to become an internet nobody, who knows, maybe he could have achieved something.

But at the end of the day, maybe having wasted potential is worse than having no potential at all. DSP is shit, but in a sense he achieved much more than he should be capable of, thanks to learning how to game Youtube algorithms. Spoony also would probably have killed himself already if working a pleb-tier 9-5 office job like his education was sending him to. But Asalieri squandered his opportunities and now is tied down to a fat landwhale and a past of nothing but internet e-peen slapfights and broken friendships.

[Kugelfisch]

An intelligent person doesn't marry some borderline retarded white trash.