Pat the NES Cunt

Whine and Bitch about people long after they become interesting to talk about
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Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by BobbyBoucher » Thu Oct 08, 2020 7:34 am

Summary for episodes 228 to 230. It's actually short.

I wanted to do individual updates, but things slowed down a lot after the summer. Pat and Ian are boring when they aren't sperging about politics or getting into fights.

Speaking of which...

Amico signs manufacturing deal with Ark Electronics in September 2020:
  • Pat goes about gloating as usual. Saying it was impossible for the Amico to hit an October 2020 release date.
  • But, also as usual, Pat is wrong.
  • On the Atari Age forums, Tommy said he made the deal last fall and toured the factory in December.
  • The press release was only announced September 2020.
  • So Tommy had a manufacturer signed up last year, he had circuit boards and prototypes being demonstrated, and he even has game developers working on new games.
  • Sounds like Tommy could've hit the button at any moment and started manufacturing.
  • It's almost like he's a real businessman and Pat's a YouTube Clown.
  • Can Tommy sue Pat? One can only hope.

    • Ian retweets Trump getting the contrivirus.
      • Pat posts a shocked meme at the news. Like those protests/riots didn't spread it.
    • If he makes a full recovery without major symptoms, Pat and Ian's scaremongering will have been useless.
    • Warner Bros. Games says "transphobe" JK Rowling has the right to her opinion.
    • Ian responds with "suck my ass".
    • Ian "Glass Houses" Ferguson responds to a comment asking why they talk about this: "They can't help themselves. These people love to nod their heads and have takes while simultaneously being affected by nothing they talk about."
    • Related, Pat corrects the gender reveal party that started California fires and calls it a "sex reveal" party.
    • Ian retweets some Breonna Taylor reactions.
    • "Cops can't be reformed."
    • Ian is not happy with voting.
    • Also retweets someone about the system being broken. (AKA, the electoral college working as intended.)

Other shit ranging from somewhat boring to completely boring:
  • Pat played Doom 64 for N64 guidebook.
    • Had to consult a longplay.
    • Glad there's no undewater segments in it. (Are there any in Doom? Old Man Pat's mind must be going.)
    • Using an emulator to take screenshots for the book.
    • Pat wonders if there's slowdown in one part of Doom 64 and it's not the emulator. Ian says it does slow down sometimes.
    • (I don't know why he just doesn't use a Flash Cart. Guess he needs save states?)
  • Microsoft Buys Bethesda
    • They say it's important because Bethesda has games everyone talks about. (I don't think Pat has played any of them. Maybe the Doom reboot.)
    • Ian does most of the talking about games.
    • "Business expert" Pat says Microsoft doesn't need to see a return on investment because they're so rich.
    • Ian says Fallout 76 had some bumps, but the franchise is still safe.
  • mario 35th anniversary
    • Pat has never played Sunshine despite being a "gamer".
    • Ian bought Hyrule Warriors on all three platforms, like a good consoomer.
    • Pat says the battle royale game "appeals to the zoomers."
  • AR mario game
    • Pat says $100 is fair for "all the technology in this."
    • Ian and his wife vonnie wants one, despite them admitting they have no room for it in their tiny apartment. (They have an arcade machine in there.)
    • Pat says other parts of the country have giant houses for low prices, just not San Diego.
      • (Pat paid $1.2 million for his 2300 square foot house. There are cheaper ones 20 minutes away.)
  • ea puts ads in UFC game
    • Ads turned on after the initial review period was over.
    • They are really offended by it for some reason.
    • Pat says he'd be okay with it if it were free to play.
    • Pat says EA pulls shit like charging for gas in a mobile racing game. (They complained about Mario Kart Tour once as well.)
    • Ian complains that about $60 for a game and then getting ads. (They're on record saying $60 is too low for a game and should be more. Ads mean the consoomer gets a discount.)
  • rockstar bans cheaters
    • They were reading some comments from accused cheaters, one accused Rockstar of being greedy.
    • They mocked him even though some time back Pat was accusing Rockstar of running an online casino with GTA 5.
    • Pay says you can't say you shouldn't go after speeders because murderers exist. ("You can't arrest black people because racist cops exist.")
  • Pat's still in denial about being Gen X.
    • Refers to himself as X-linneal or Millennial.
  • Gamestop closing more stores.
    • Pat says Chewy investing money won't save it. "Stock price has nothing to do with future performance." (It's investor confidence.)
    • Pat says even a smaller number of stores don't have a future because eventually there will be no used games to resell. (Ian on suicide watch.)
    • Ian says the Middle America might use physical retail, but then says those people buy by mail already.
  • They continue to use Heritage Auctions and Nintendo leaks to pad the podcast.
    • They are surprised actual rare games aren't selling for much. (Rarity alone does not determine price.)
    • Pat's horrified that a wealthy person who bought a mint Mario game is now getting contacted by Heritage to buy more stuff.
  • PS5 price announced.
    • Ian, who can't afford health insurance, says he's going to get one eventually.
    • Both say they are burned out on collectibles.
    • Ian says the Analogue Pocket is the last thing he had an urge to get.
    • Pat says he [pat] was unable to get any pre-orders this year. Missed out on Analogue Pocket.
    • They say NES/SNES/etc game collecting is different because those aren't limited edition. (Pat owns both NWC grey and gold carts.)
  • 3DS discontinued.
    • Pat admits he only really used his at conventions for Street Pass.
    • Pat says the family friendly look beat things like Sony PSP/Vita.
    • They then both repeat "family" in a jab at the Amico.
  • q&a Insights Pat has about how consumer's think from Pat's consumer research past.
    • Says the number one concern to consumers was price. "If the price is bad, you lose the consumer."
    • Pat says the Series X Slim at $300 is a good idea despite it being weaker.
    • Says GameStop and Blockbuster both had crazy ideas to save themselves.
    • (Pat does have a legitimate point, but he ignores that physical video rental still exists. RedBox and Family Video still operate.)
      • If Pat were smarter, he'd realize Starlink might spell the death of physical media in rural areas.
  • q&a tips for game store employee
    • Ian says to read up on systems you are unfamiliar with, find out the top selling games and read about them.
    • (That's basically it. No wonder Ian is a depressed, bitter man. He has no future.)

Bonus comic: Ian's Daily Struggle

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Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by Guest » Thu Oct 08, 2020 7:52 am

Thank you! I've been itching for one of these.

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Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by Salmonella » Thu Oct 08, 2020 4:07 pm

Another update, another time I'm wondering how a guy who admits he doesn't play video games ended up becoming an internet personality revolving around video games. Who can even bare to listen to these guys? They're completely insufferable.

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Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Thu Oct 08, 2020 4:26 pm

Just like how Linkara reviews comics without actually being a real comics guy. It was just a niche they ended up in, and they're too stupid and talentless to look for something better.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

Cucked in the name of Soy, Ye not complicit.

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