Pat the NES Cunt

Whine and Bitch about people long after they become interesting to talk about
User avatar
Eternal Shitposter
Posts: 28578
Joined: Sat Mar 25, 2017 1:36 pm

Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by Kugelfisch » Thu Jun 25, 2020 9:07 pm

Salmonella wrote:
Thu Jun 25, 2020 4:20 pm
I'd like to know what kind of kickbacks these "investors" are supposed to be getting. These places are notorious for having low profit margins as it is. Now they're saying they're going to have the food and the games cheap. At the very least he's going to have to hire a cook, bartender, and arcade maintenance guy. He's gotta pay rent, insurance, electricity, etc. PLUS he's gotta give kickbacks to his "investors"?
It's just nonsense. The highest profit margin a bar has is on hard liquor. That's already right out the window with a barcade. You can't serve it either because kids won't be allowed into the place or because you don't want fuckers break shit.

You really need a maintenance guy. Pinball machines need constant maintenance. Arcade games not quite as much but they are also more boring and don't really draw much of a crowd these days. You'd likely get the most out of fitan gaem cabs.
As I said, you could make a modest living from a barcade if you're really good. Paying off investors? HA! No chance.
Psalm 137:9

User avatar
Posts: 84
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2017 7:51 am

Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by BobbyBoucher » Fri Jul 10, 2020 11:43 am

Pat's acting like a shithead again, so it's time for another update of the Consume prodUct Podcast.

Current update is CU Podcoast episodes 213 to 218, plus various live stream in between.

This time around, Pat "Scumbag Writer of the Week" Contri and Ian "Degenerative Disc Disease" Ferguson go berzerk over the Amico, discuss the "murder" of George Floyd, and complain even more about people not wearing masks.

But first, some Pat quickies:
  • Pat said he thinks had the contrivirus and spread it at Portland Retro Game Expo (he said Portland, I think he meant PAX East). Pat the Patient Zero Punk confirmed.
  • Pat basically admitted he bought most of his collection at the bottom of the market, so he's profiting no matter what.
  • For the N64 book, Pat and his writers are going to be using emulators for at least some of the games. They noticed not all games work well with N64 emulator and need additional setup. (Pat the Pirate Punk once considered buying a $6k comic. He could buy an N64 library for that much.)
  • Pat thinks Epic Game Store is actually competition for Steam. (It doesn't even have a shopping cart.) Pat and Ian have claimed free games from it. (Have they bought anything?)
  • October/November will probably be the tenth and final NES marathon. (Great. Can't wait for Pat to make an Amico jab every 15 minutes.)
  • Over the past 12 weeks on Twitch, Pat has used one week to play Clubhouse Games, and the other 11 to watch 80s commercials. (Stream the emulated N64 games you're reviewing, idiot.)
  • "No book takes 30 hours to read." -Pat complaining about game length.
  • Pat now has a soundboard and added some Tommy Tallarico quotes to it.
  • Oh, and Ian has degenerative disc disease. If his therapy/treatment doesn't work, he'll need surgery.

The first hightlight: Amico has job openings, Pat loses his shit.
  • TLDR: Pat and and Ian don't know shit about hardware or software development. Or even the nature of the global manufacturing supply chain.
    • Just like Ian didn't know all current consoles are systems-on-a-chip or Pat didn't know that several consoles have upgradeable RAM.
  • Pat opens by claiming he is trying to be as fair as possible with someone insulting him on Twitter calling them cowards.
    • He then promptly promotes a tumblr "parody" account:
    • There's also a similar account for Atari VCS: (This account has even mentioned/messaged the runner of the Amico tumblr. Strange.)
  • They claim Tommy has been throwing shit at them. (I don't know. I don't read Tommy's Twitter. They come off as insane people when they talk about him.)
  • Intellivision had some Indeed openings for product engineers and two week old listings on linkedin for frimware/web developers.
  • Pat uses this to claim the Amico is nowhere near being complete. Uses his knowledge of Chinese book printing to make an argument.
  • Pat/Ian are confident the OS/firmware are in bad shape without any knowledge of what the hell is going on. (The job listings they read note there is a lead engineer already.)
  • They think the entire system needs to be built.
  • Tommy responds on the Atari Age forum says these job listings are for other products. He also says in a video interview that firmware is constantly being updated and that online multiplayer might be an update.
    • During interview, Tommy talks about how J Allard is actually useful during testing phase due to Red Ring of Death experience.
    • He also calls it the "PU" podcast.
    • Tommy calls Pat ignorant and mean-spirited because Pat said "you can do all this stuff remotely" in response to contrivirus lockdowns.
    • Tommy says the contrivirus situation means they might miss launch window, but he's been saying that since March.
    • Masked (for some reason) host even notices Pat is desperate for Coleco Chameleon relevancy.
    • Tommy says he'll be the Coleco Chameleon of YouTubers.
    • Tommy says he'll drive to Pat's place to demonstrate the Amico. "If Pat's afroid of Ferraris, I'll take my wife's truck instead."
    • Near end of interview, Tommy says scamming $1 million from a Kickstarter campaign would be meaningless to him. Also that he and his wife rode horses that day.
  • Pat also reports that he heard a rumor that it contain a $15-20 Banana Pi.
    • (First, reporting on a rumor is dumb and spiteful of him.)
    • (It wasn't clear if he meant the one prototype or if he meant the production run would use $15 Banana Pis.)
      • If it's just the prototype, he has no argument prototype specs can change drastically. There are more expensive development boards out there, in the hundreds of dollars.
      • If it's the production run, Amico's listed specs are 8-core ARM and 2 GB of RAM. Best estimate is the board will cost $40-$50 when 10,000 or more are bought.
      • It might be another reference to the Coleco Chameleon, I don't know.
  • Pat says "we've seen controllers" but not a functioning system/prototype.
    • (9:30 in this video, controller being demonstrated:
      • That video shows off a physical circuit board and a diagram on the monitor. Actual work is being done.
      • In that same video, some guy says he's working on the low-level (drivers/firmware) WiFi/Bluetooth for the controllers.
      • This video shows a mobile phone contoller rolling dice. It's in a virtualized environment on a laptop, but that's standard development practice. You don't need physical hardware to develop games or even some drivers/firmware.
      • It's been sixth month's since that first video, so it's probably near completion at this point, blowing huge holes in Pat's bitter theory.
  • Pat then asks if the games are going to be physically available or require internet access. (Pat previously said physical media is dying. So what's his point?)
  • Pat and Ian maintain that OS/firmware need to be installed at time of manufacture. (No, they can ship with very basic OS and perform a Day 1 update. Alternatively, package the product in the US/Mexico, and perform an update at that time.)
  • Pat smugly says he's saving copies of the job postings.

A Very Special Segment: The Death of George Floyd plus related segments (Ian: "Shut up wypipo", Pat: "We'll send a message to Trump and the entire Republican Party", also gamers complaining about BLM shitting up their games):
  • Pat and Ian were cowards. They didn't put this on YouTube, they uploaded it to soundcloud and podbean. (MegaUp link.)
  • Ian - shut up white men and let POC speak.
  • Say 90s covered over racism, but always there.
  • TLDR Racist white man (married to Hmong woman) murdered an innocent good boi who was about to get his GED. (Pat seems to emphasize "murder" slightly whenever he says it.)
  • orange man bad
    • Say Trump responsible because of his conduct and character. Quotes LeBron James that Trump creates an environment where this happens. (Acorn/Black nationalists/SJWs/BLM/whatever have pushed racial grievencies for a couple decades at the very least.)
    • Says that's why you got Charlottesville. (There were Nazi/KKK marches during Clinton's term. There were incidents during both Bushes, Reagan, Carter, everyone. Greensboro massacre was in '79. Forsyth County Marches in '87.)
    • "During the election, we'll send a message to Trump and the entire Republican party."
    • "There's some remorse [by Trump voters] out there even though people don't admit it."
    • (Didn't Trump order in federal investigators at start or at least condemn it? What are they smoking?)
    • "A handful [of Republicans] are speaking up about the President."
    • Cites Obama's message about local elections and who is being elected. (It'll just push cities further left. Didn't like White Flight? Get ready for Yellow, Brown, Red, and Sensible Black Flight.)
    • Pat says to vote for moral character and not politics. "Don't concern yourself with the next Supreme Court appointment."
      • Says we need someone who will unite us in dire times. (This has never fucking happened in the history of the United States.)
  • Ian compares the situation to a frog in boiling water.
    • He's just waking up and realizing everything is going to shit. Seems to instinctively blame Trump and not forces beyond his control.
  • "Warned in November" about Contrivirus, says Pat, complaining that faster reaction could save lives.
    • (Cuomo ordered thousands of infected into nursing homes, spreading the contrivirus.)
    • (Lockdowns were meant to delay spread to save medical resources. A degree of spread was always going to happen.)
  • "Don't forget the name of people who the protests and riots are for," says Ian.
  • "I'm not sure what the answer is for the outsider/provoceuturs coming in and tearing up places. It's difficult to self-police communities if people have weapons." (Antifa might be from the suburbs, but the black looters are all local.)
  • "leave the protesters alone but stop the rioters" (The protesters run interference for the rioters. That's the point.)
  • (I wonder if Pat's one of those idiots who looks to Camden as a model for policing?)
  • (I wrote most of the above in late may.)
    • Since then, there have been numerous murders by BLM/Antifa associates. Including two teens riding in an SUV in the CHAZ/CHOP area.
    • Bunch of statues have been pulled down, including Colombus, Washington, Jefferson, not just Confederates. A monument to a black Civil War regiment was defaced.
    • Toxicology report said Floyd was on multiple drugs. Pat "Listen to Experts" Contri probably won't listen to an expert autopsy report.
    • One cop has filed for dismissal of charges. Some transcripts came out.
    • Pat and Ian continue to retweet stupid shit.
  • Ep 214, gamers complain about the PS5 event/announcment delay due to BLM/Floyd protests.
    • Pat and Ian complain about gamers complaining about Sony delaying PS5.
    • Essentially call these gamers pissbabies.
    • "Don't want to distract people from larger events." (Some people want to be distracted. Following tech/gaming news is a way to do this.)
      • ("The corporate/media class is bending the knee, so you don't get your games.")
    • To justify political talk, pat uses the example of "If aliens were attacking, you expect us not to cover that?" (Is it relevant? How serious a problem is it?)
    • Ian says he hears "don't put politics" in things. "You wouldn't complain about politics if you agreed with them."
      • (Not true. Pro/anti gun/abortion messages don't belong in a Mario game. At all.)
  • ep 214 q&a should video games developers/reviewers stick to brands and avoid politics?
    • Not officially answered, but Pat says "we all realize that's a stupid position."
  • ep 214, Pat brings up GoFundMe for Voltage Video Games that got looted.
    • 8-bit and Up in NYC was looted as well. It was in Not for Resale.
  • ep 215, Pat has a Cameo account. Proceeds for June will be going to the ACLU. (The ACLU thinks the death penalty comes from lynching:
more contrivirus shit (Pat threatens to ban anyone who disparages masks):
  • In a stream, Pat said he was very sick for two weeks in February. Says his mother was also sick.
    • Believes he had contrivirus and may have spread it at a con. (A lot people think they have it. I assume Pat never got tested.)
  • ep 213, q&a will stores reopen with a massive rush/boom?
    • Ian says Luna has done walk-ins since Thursday. (
    • Ian says society has gotten used to ordering stuff online, so it won't necessarily go back.
    • Pat says he only goes out twice a week other than the gym.
      • Once a week to UPS to mail out Blu-Rays/books.
      • Once a week for grocery shopping.
      • (Reminder: He once said he works out two hours at the gym every day.)
      • (He's a successful Spoony.)
    • Pat says there will no return to normal until a vaccine is developed (which he admits might take more than a year) or a treatment such as Tamiflu.
  • ep 214 q&a do you expect the contrivirus to cause people to sell collections?
    • Ian says no.
    • Ian jabs at people who "think staying indoors for two months is the end of the world."
    • Ian says people with large collections are more financially secure.
    • Pat admits he bought most of his collection "for pennies on the dollar".
      • Bought so long ago he doesn't see the value in it.
      • "Collectors who bought in 2012-13 paid through the nose." says Pat.
    • Switches still sell for a lot.
    • Ian says he's not sure of pricing if contrivirus has a resurgence in a year's time.
    • Pat says when commodities fall in price, they stay down.
    • Their not sure how many retro stores will make it out of this. (Especially those that got looted.)
  • ep 216, Frank came back from camping in Arizona.
    • Pat hasn't personally met with him since a swap meet in February.
    • Ate outdoors at a Denny's.
    • Not dead yet.
  • ep 217, busy days at Luna now that it's re-opened fully.
    • Xbox 360s now sell for $140 instead of $70.
    • Luna, GameStop, and other stores are running out of inventory.
    • Luna ordered 24 PS4 controllers instead of the usual four. People keep asking for them.
    • Ian says part of the problem is that game stores couldn't purchase anything from customers to restock their inventory.
    • (It's almost like letting all stores operate at limited capacity was the right idea, not completely shutting down for over a month.)
  • Pat goes to the San Diego zoo
    • Efforts outside to avoid grouping, but not inside.
    • Problems with masks. 25% had masks on improperly or not on. Pat calls it alarming
    • Pat complains that people don't care. "We're the only country where cases aren't going down." Talks about US still having cases. (Why should anyone care after those stupid riots? Politicians encouraged those.)
    • He grumbled at people.
    • 25% don't wear mask. Older people.
    • Ian has to signal to wear mask to customers.
      • 75% wear improperly.
      • [mask not covering the nose] pat compares it to putting a condom on the tip.
      • ian hands out masks
    • minority ruin it for everyone, says Pat.
  • amc theaters mask policy
    • nolan movie Tenet will be a big hit, says pat.
      • (It'll probably bomb in this situation. Theaters should test the waters by running classic blockbusters like Star Wars, Aliens, and some others.)
      • (Since I wrote this, Tenet's release has been pushed back from July. That'll help, but I don't know how much.)
    • amc said it wouldn't require masks or perform temperature checks
    • amc didn't want to make it political
      • Pat and Ian rail into them, saying the made it political.
      • (Customers will take their masks off to eat popcorn, idiots. The extra salty popcorn will make them coof anyway.)
      • (Shutting down concessions might drive off customers and lower the theater's profitability.)
      • (They admit some other theaters like Regal and Cinemark aren't requiring masks, but attack AMC anyway. That's changed since this segment, though.)
      • (Anti-mask people will just claim a medical excuse like asthma or something for not wearing one.)
    • Ian/Pat says people expect business to do everything for them, but not wear a mask.
      • "What are you doing to keep me safe?" - their version of a coof customer. (Pat demanded a zoo harass people about masks.)
    • Pat complains about Ozarks party incident.
    • Pat says we sometimes need a nanny-state. Says that comes from "Left-wing Pat".
    • Pat/Ian call the lockdown protesters idiots/actors. Talks about them storming the Michigan capitol while armed. (You supported rioters that burned down low-income housing.)
    • Say that companies are catering to a vocal minority. (Happens all the time whether it be SJWs, BLM, or religious groups.)
    • Ian is very angry companies are catering to dumb vocal minority.
    • pat: "the people that are either paid actors or crazy enough to storm the michigain state capitol building with guns.
    • Ian: "Let them go as customers."
    • Pat says he wouldn't go to AMC if they didn't require masks.
    • Ian: "You gained 50 people, but lost thousands."
    • Pat says there was a similar outcry in '80s when seatbelts were required. (Difference is people might be immune.)
    • Pat: "You give up certain rights for certain privileges in a law abiding society. That's the social contract." (You give up the right to peaceably assemble when someone throws a brick.)
  • ep 218 intro, On infection rates, Pat says California was fine until May. (What happened in May...?)
    • (The rioters/"protesters" who were arrested were put in group holding cells with shared toilet and water fountain. A perfect place to spread the virus.)
      • And protesters/rioters were hitching rides. Not to mention sharing water bottles and food of unknown origin.
    • (I don't think Redbox shut down during this period, so it is potentially a vector for spread.)
  • ep 218, wwe's contrivirus response
    • Repeat claim that Linda McMahon bribed Florida governor. (It was a election campaign ad buy.)
    • Call Florida governor an idiot for reopening too early.
    • Ian says California's governor is also dumb.
    • They say WWE isn't doing testing. They say temperature check isn't good enough because people asymptomatic.
      • (Unless something's changed, the contrivius test involves shoving a q-tip deep into your nose.)
        • If you're not infected, you get to do the test each time you think you're infected.
        • And the testing isn't 100% accurate.
    • They say Trump's a baby for not wearing a mask in public.
    • Someone asked them to stop talking about masks. Say they'll ban people on YouTube if they complain about masks in comments.
  • Pat said a couple times the administration was warned in November about the contrivirus.
consume product (Marvel, DC, Disney, Star Wars shit; collecting comics/crap):
  • Ep 213, Snyder cut.
    • Cost $30 million.
    • Pat goes over the failings of the DCEU. Batman v. Superman sucking, Birds of Prey failing. (I haven't been impressed with the MCU. Endgame is a 6.5/10.)
    • Pat/Ian says Zack Snyder is all visuals, no substance.
    • Pat says a cinematic universe needs some substance. (MCU doesn't have any.)
    • Pat asks who approved the budget for a 4 hour movie. (It was originally supposed to be two movies.)
    • (With all this MCU/DCEU shit, they never talk about Joker. I mean ever. You'd think it'd be worth discussing. It's an actual movie.)
  • Empire Strikes Back 40th
    • "Only one of the original trilogy that was serious drama film," says Pat. "Super artistic."
    • Lawrence Kasdan is brilliant says Pat. (He helped write The Force Awakens, one of the worst movies ever created.)
  • Uncle Jimmy's baseball card collection
    • Some guy died and left a baseball card collection to his nieces and nephews.
    • Pat says "he left them to his kids" despite having never married.
    • Pat and Ian lovingly go over some of the cards.
    • Pat's Uncle Jimmy is holding some comics for him.
      • Spiderman comics where osborne revealed as Green Goblin. Grade 7 or 8, he says.
        • fantastic four: 42 to 70
        • spiderman 32 to 58
        • Says there's about 120 comic. (I'd guess they could be worth over $10k.)
        • (Pat salivates when talking about value of these. Some of the issues are worth several hundred or around $1k for a grade 8.)
      • Pat's father says he has a share of those. (Probably, if he bought them.)
  • ep 217, dceu update ["don't consoom product" - Pat]
    • Pat asks if Henry Cavill is still Superman.
    • TLDR Flashpoint movie is set to reset the cinematic universe. Michael Keaton may comeback as an older Batman.
    • They actually mention the Joker movie for once, say it might be integrated into Flashpoint.
    • Pat says they should do a live-action version of Batman TAS.
    • Ian says Keaton is getting too old. Would have preferred him in a Dark Knight adaptation.
more drama (Amico/Tallarico, VCS, other YouTubers, etc.):
  • [Pat continues random jabs at the amico during livestreams and other segments (some are in the gaming category).]
  • atari pi kit from microcenter
    • Pat has never heard of Micro Center.
    • Ian complains that the most notable Atari games don't use a D-pad, the use a spinner or other special controller.
    • Ian reads the name on the controller and thinks that company made this product.
    • Pat acts offended and thinks Atari is supporting/enabling pirating by supplying a 32 GB SD card for 100 games that take up only 1 MB of space.
      • Ian wisely says it was probably just the most common type of SD card.
      • (Because it actually costs more money to make smaller ones. SD card is also Micro Center branded.)
  • Atari doesn't show up to court.
    • They rag on Atari more.
    • Pat says Delaware LLCs are a lot cheaper than California ones.
    • Pat says it's insane to not show up to court. Says better to settle for $200k. (What I learned from the Vic case, default damages can be contested. Atari might be waiting for that.)
    • (I read a YouTube comment that said Rob Wyatt was injured in a skydiving accident and that's in part why the VCS was delayed.)
      • Atari even blogged about it:
        • It also says: "Apps will need to be written for our platform, the way they render to the screen will be different to normal Linux but that’s all low level details and apps."
        • That's a horrible idea. There games/apps already written for Linux as-is. That's how Steam functions on it.
        • If this was Rob Wyatt's plan, he should've been fired.
      • It actually seems like a serious accident that involved surgery and probably months of recovery.
      • He quit (or was fired) at some point and SurfaceInk took over. It does have a history of working on projects such as Ouya and the RROD 360.
    • (I'm still not entirely sure what Tin Giant/Rob Wyatt was responsible for. Everything should be off the shelf except for the user interface.)
    • "Holy shit. What a joke," says Pat.
      • Exasperated that companies are making shit products. This and Game Gear Micro.
      • Says to buy a Raspberry Pi rather than a VCS.
    • Kieran (Register reporter) just says Pat stuff about default judgement being bad.
  • ep 214 vcs update
    • Pat and Ian say they shouldn't remind people it's overdue.
    • Or that manufacturing is a bit bumpy.
  • ep 216, they discuss red lobster
    • ian hates it. Would rather go the cheapest buffet than Red Lobster.
    • pat explains sunk cost fallacy
      • "throwing good money after bad"
      • brings up amico - "perhaps you've spent millions on a new game console company"
      • (Pat is somehow worse than the quartering. The Quartering spews shit for money, Pat does it because he is bitter old man.)
  • end of ep 217, Pat has a soundboard.
    • It has four quotes by Tommy Tallarico, but he used only one that episode.
    • (Pat is a sick individual.)
  • Guinness reinstates Billy Mitchell
    • (Pat did predict this back when the lawsuits were first announced.)
    • Guinness holds world record for guzzling piss, says Ian.
    • They say the world records are bought.
    • Guinness said it was impossible to put an "emulsion" board in an arcade machine. (Guinness doesn't give a shit and auto-correct turned emulator into emulsion.)
      • Pat and Ian tear this apart, but they sound like complete fags when doing so.
    • Pat says Guinness makes money off self-aggrandizing people who want plaques to themselves.
      • Including "someone who makes their own game console." (Amico again.)
    • ripley's believe it or not is better than Guinness, says Pat.
    • Walter Day carries water for Billy Mitchell, says Pat.
    • Pat says this won't affect the court cases. (It won't, but neither does it affect Pat's status as a fag.)
actual gaming topics:
  • Clubhouse Games coming
    • Pat says it'll sell 5-10 million copies.
    • Ian, in a fit of depression, says the game is like life: repeatedly doing something until you die.
  • g2a refunds fradulent transaction to developer
    • TLDR 10x the amount.
    • During Ian's explanation of credit card fraud, he says that the transaction is cancelled, but the criminal keeps the keys. (Keys can be revoked. Steam accounts that activate them could potentially be banned.)
    • Ian says the only way G2A makes money is scumminess (selling review codes) or via fraud (credit card fraud). "There's no other way to source discount keys." (Steam generates keys for independent sale.)
    • They then admit Humble Bundle can offer keys by working directly with developers. Ian meant third party acquisition. (A French court case might force reselling of digital games.)
    • Pat then says by paying for a monthly Humble Bundle subscription, you get games for free.
  • days of thunder dumped. (They read article from Ars Technica and pretend to be experts.)
  • Take 2 shits on Stadia
    • Ian admits he lost the bet. Thought it would close by June.
    • Pat says if you have the Internet connection to support this, you don't need Stadia. (Some countries have cheaper unlimited ISP plans, so this is viable there.)
    • Pat says there might be low-income areas with free Google Fiber. (The free tier was 5 Mbps download, 1 Mbps up. $300 for installation.)
    • Pat pays over $100/month for his fiber optic service. Says cheaper plans won't be good for it.
    • Pat thinks $20 and $30 ISP plans exist. (Maybe in apartments.)
  • q&a Does Ian recommend working in a video game store.
    • Ian says no.
    • Ian says you'll get all types of people into video games, not just people who are similar to you or agree with you. "Which we've seen over the last few years."
    • Pat's ex (Denise) liked videogames, family had a Colecovision and Nintendo, but didn't give a shit about Pat's retro game collection.
      • Pat says most sane people shouldn't.
    • Pat says divorce rate is high because people are pairing based on hobbies/interests, not morals, inspirations, lifestyle. (Pat is an unmarried 40 year old man surrounding himself with toys from his childhood.)
    • Pat worked at Suncoast Video. It sucked.
  • ep 215, Clubhouse games review/reaction.
    • Pat says it's game of the year. (I think this is the only 2020 game he's played.)
    • Physically got it from Target.
    • Pat likes that unlike the Amico, the games all look like they are part of the same universe.
    • Pat says the chess AI is horrible.
    • Pat says Texas Hold 'em is gimped with limited raises, so no risk.
    • Ian worked at a country club, would play backgammon with the female bartender he hated.
    • Pat says it's a good buy at $40. Says 1-2-3 Switch shouldn't have been priced at $60.
  • GameStop update
    • GameStop lost upwards of $180 million during the contrivirus quarter.
    • Ian says GameStop is buying 360s for a cent, but selling for $80. No cash.
    • Pat predicts they'll be dead within the year.
    • A new console launch probably isn't going to help them, says Ian.
    • Pat says Amico preorders won't help them.
  • Sega Game Gear Micro
    • Ian always wanted to get into the Game Gear library, but never gave it enough attention. (Buy a handheld GBA clone that runs emulators.)
    • Ian says this would work if any one condition were met:
      • 1. Remains the same size, but includes 40 games.
      • 2. Increased size, but 20-30 games.
      • 3. It remains the same size and game count, but is half price.
    • Pat is perplexed by it and wonders if it will remain Japan only that Sega fanboys buy up.
    • Pat mentions Nintendo LCD keychain games from 20 years ago.
    • Ian mentions Sega Fog, but doesn't talk about it. (Arcade cloud gaming could work, in Japan.)
    • "They've found a retro Twilight Zone of Nothingness." Says Pat.
  • sim refinery
    • Ian says it was Resetera that had disks. Corrects himself later and says it was Ars Technica that had a forum user with a disk.
    • (I'd like to note LGR's side channel video on this got 156k views, about the same as an entire CU podcast episode. LGR's sandwich side channel gets more views than Pat.)
  • Pat ordered TG-16 mini from a dropshipper on Amazon Japan.
    • Three weeks later it comes out in the US for $100. Lost $60 on it.
    • Was announced for Japan, but came out sooner than he expected in the US.
    • Says "that's on me."
  • q&a what game/series have you spent the most time on?
    • Ian played 2-300 hours of No Man's Sky.
      • Mario Kart 8: 150-200 hours. Play 10-15 hours every 3 months. Pat put about 100 hours into it.
      • Ian has a couple hundred in each Fire Pro. Pat played them as well, but emulated them.
    • Pat played 3-400 hours in Civ 2. Unreal Tournament might have been more.
  • ep 216, ps5 announcement stuff.
    • Ian looking forward to some of the games.
    • Ian bought three Gran Turismos to realize he didn't like the extreme realism.
    • Pat wants a PS5 to play the Stray cat game. (Game just called Stray. Coming to PS4 and Windows as well, so not an exclusive.)
    • Pat says they used to play Little Big Planet with a sociopath they knew. (ProJared)
    • Pat hasn't played many Resident Evils, did play RE4 on Wii.
    • Ian expected two versions: One with more backwards compatibility (with the PS3, I guess) and another with less.
    • Ian thinks the digital-only model should be $100 less the disc-based on.
      • Says disc drives cost nothing. (So the savings are small.)
      • Pat says $50 cut is likely.
      • (I hear the digital version is meant for overseas where piracy may be more common.)
    • They talk about potential price.
      • Ian leans toward $600.
      • Pat works in another jab at the Amico. "Raising price by $70 to get an extra controller."
      • Pat says a high price makes it hard to scalp.
  • 1 up arcades
    • pat assumes they sell well
    • Pat wants to make an arcade room after selling some of his collection. (If he bought a larger house, this wouldn't be a problem.)
  • 3dsen on Steam
    • Pat doesn't understand how swaying curtains in Castlevania are programmed into the game.
    • (I think it would be simply enough to just replace the sprite graphics. Each object is usually a seperate file, just load in something else.)
      • If he's confused that only certain curtains sway, then that's just some customization.
      • footage with curtains, 1:10 in:
      • If Pat wanted something difficult, it would be to make a 2d platformer to move in three dimensions.
  • Star Wars Squadrons
    • Pat upset about alternating factions during the campaign.
    • pat upset about boosting craft stats. Doesn't want A-Wings as tough as B-wings.
  • ep 216, scumbag seller: craigslist housecall to set up emulators
    • pat says it's dangerous.
    • Last craiglists deal pat did was 2009: Met in parking lot of Jamba Juice, got a deal on boxed NES and GameBoy games.
    • Pat glad he bought a USB-to-N64 adapter since price went up.
    • Pat notices gaming accessories cost more. Ian says everythings gone up. (Even cheap shitty clone controllers have increased in price.)
    • Pat says his N64 book writing team has noticed not all games work well with N64 emulators and need additional work to setup.
      • (Writing a guidebook and app about collecting games, but doesn't actually own the games.)
        • At least use a Flash Cart to guarantee accuracy.
        • Pat "scumbag writer of the week" Contri
  • ep 217, pokemon snap 2
    • Ian is very excited. Original game is 21 years old.
    • Pat says it'll be in the N64 guidebook.
    • Pat inserts audio of Tommy Tallarico trashing Nintendo for violent/sexual games.
  • gaming metoo
    • TLDR Twitch streamers and Wrestlers are getting MeToo'd.
    • Pat brings up ProJared again.
    • They say it can be wrong to fuck your fanbase. (Musicians do it. Brad Jones married his way younger fan Laura.)
    • (Ninja refusing to stream with thots makes sense, now.)
  • mixer shutting down.
    • (I predicted this would end up like Epic exclusives. I was right.)
    • (Pat predicted massive growth with Ninja's audience on Mixer.)
      • His last number of followers was 3,198,680. []
      • He has 14.7 million on Twitch. []
      • I thought he would top out at 5-6 million within six months, so he underperformed by my own estimate.
    • Pat was invited to Facebook Gaming. Norm streamed there.
    • Ian angry and annoyed that streamers got the short shrift. Says small time streamers got left in the lurch. (Mixer wasn't popular, so doubt they had any success on Twitch.)
    • Pat and Ian complain about the sheer amount of money spent on this venture.
    • Pat and Ian complain that Ninja isn't open about deciding to take money.
      • He had said he couldn't wait to work with Microsoft because of Halo.
      • (Pat doesn't give a shit about N64 yet is still writing a book about it.)
    • Ian says it's okay to make money during late stage capitalism.
    • Pat complains that Twitch and YouTube are too big to fail and competition can't rise against them.
    • Pat says he considers Epic games true competition because of the developer incentives and the company is rich.
      Both have claimed free games from Epic. (But have they bought any?)
    • Pat says Facebook is a horrible company.
      • Says Facebook Gaming probably won't be popular.
      • Says that boomers use it to spread conspiracy theories.
    • (Ninja making $20-30 million off this.)
  • Heritage/Wata Spider-man 2600 game update.
    • Another auction 9.8 sold for $2700. Down from a $9k. A 9.6 sold for $3.3k.
    • TLDR Dummies are buying shit games for too much money.
    • Reserved Investments did a video on this. (Probably a better video than Pat.)
    • Pat suggests someone had a shipping crate of these.
    • Pat says Danielle shouldn't yell at him at a convention, telling him he doesn't know what he's talking about. Says she should talk to Rick Weiss who's collected for 25 years.
  • Heritage auctions Hot Slots repro
    • Pat very upset it used a donor board.
  • nintendo leaving mobile
    • Talk about Nintendo reluctant to monetize like other companies.
    • they're too ethical, says Pat.
    • Pat says Mario Kart Tour looks good and might complete with MK8.
    • Ian says Tour is good, but 8 is better.
    • (Reminder, the both complained about Mario Kart Tour monetization.)
  • ep 217, q&a emotional gaming moments
    • FF9 is Ian's favorite. He felt emotional over Quina and Vivi's wedding.
      • Pat then displays his ignorance by asking how that affected them in the other games. (He didn't know Final Fantasy games aren't connected.)
      • Ian had to correct his misperception.
    • Pat says he didn't have many happy christmases, something was always off.
      • Says 1987 Christmas was great because he got an NES.
    • A negative moment for Pat was when he used his allowance to buy Three Stooges and it wasn't that great.
    • Pat asks if any game made Ian sad/cry. Ian says no.
      • Pat says little stories in ActRaiser.
      • Ian then corrects and says Valkyrie Profile on PS1.
  • Dr. Disrespect banned.
    • Pat complains "influencers" get contracts without a background check unlike professional sports players. (But pro sports is filled with criminals.)
  • NWC NES console
    • Pat says he had an opportunity to buy marked NWC controllers four years ago. Complains because "they would have gone up 5 times the value."
  • ex-Sony exec wants shorter games
    • Say AAA studios should use same assets for a 15 hour games.
    • They say not everyone wants or has time for 150 hour games.
    • Pat says he gets deterred from playing games like Breath of the Wild when he hears it's 300 hours long.
    • Pat says a lot of people have time taken by jobs and families. (Pat has no family, and rarely went out even before the contrivirus. Ian is married, but has a loser job with plenty of free time.)
    • They again note that games are still $60. (The market expanded to include more people. GTA5 sold 130 million copies or so.)
    • Ian says a friend has difficulty getting into Fallout 4 because it takes so long to do anything.
    • They claim there will be more risk taking with smaller games.
    • "No book takes 30 hours to read," - #PatQuote.
    • Pat says AAA games and Hollywood have same problem where they are dumping in so much money that they are risk averse.
    • Pat doesn't know who buys multiple 80 hour games to complete. Thinks they must be trust funders.
      • Says people with jobs can't do this. (Pat doesn't have one yet can't complete a single game.)
      • Ian says he (Ian) paces around a lot to ADHD. Says he could complete a lot of games if he stopped doing that.
    • Pat says movie ticket prices have gone up due to inflation yet people no one complains about them. Says $20 for Endgame is worth it. (I've seen plenty of people complain about movie ticket prices. Theaters always want a bigger piece of the pie.)
    • (Their entire argument is dumb.)
      • 15 hour games exist. They are usually single player shooters like BioShock/Call of Duty. People dump a ton of time into the multiplayer, though.
      • 40-150 hour RPGs are the middle ground between 15 hour games and 1,000 hour skinner boxes. People want those experiences.
      • AA gaming is coming back. Subnautica cost $10 million. Kingdom Come Deliverance cost $36 million. Both were risky.
      • No Man's Sky is probably AA. It took risks and basically failed at launch.
      • Big studios can't really pivot to smaller games. Anyone who took a basic business course should know this.
      • The Kotaku article actually has good comments about why this won't work:
  • q&a what games do you play to relieve stress?
    • Ian says Etrian Odyssey because the difficulty and game mechanics distract him.
      • Played one of them while his grandmother was dying of cancer.
    • pat says he doesn't play games to deal with stress as an adult (he doesn't games at all, really)
      • Says he did it as a kid when his parents argued. Says they argued/yelling every single day.
      • Pat then relays a story from his childhood about he was accused on tattling on a group of bullies for making fun of a kid.
      • The bullies then tried to get into a fight with him at some public sports meet, but Pat refused to go.
      • (I don't know that the point of that story was.)
      • Pat then claims fighting games are calming because of their repetitive nature. (But still doesn't play them to calm down.)
  • q&a if you had only one system to play for the rest of your life, which would it be? PC is included.
    • Pat creates his own limitation on PC, says it has to a 5 year span so you don't play games from 40 years ago.
      • Also adds that limit to consoles so you can't choose a GBA to play GB games.
      • (Bullshit. The asker never specified this. PC all the way since it can virtually all of the previous consoles.)
    • Ian narrows it to Gameboy or PC Engine. Settles on PC Engine.
    • Pat chooses a mid-90s Windows 95 Pentium.
      • Says he had abandoned SNES by then.
      • Says it has excellent game variety. Speaks positively of FMV games.
      • Says it had gamepads as good as consoles. Gravis Propad.
streaming shit 80s commercials:
  • Pat says there are only 20 gorillas left in the wild.
  • Pat admits he's been to Disney World in Florida, never went to Disneyland. (His parents never took him as a kid.)
  • Pat's dad had a pirated copy of back to the future.
  • Arrested Development Pat wants to buy McNugget toys because they look like mini-Mr. Potato heads.
  • Pat says the McNuggets should have a TV series.
  • Pat's family was a hydrox cookies family instead of Oreos.
  • Police Academy 6 was better than 5, says Pat.
  • Pat takes issue with a Bill & Ted trailer that compares it to Fast Times at Ridgemont High
  • Pat says Fruit Roll-ups look digusting.
  • Streamed clubhouse games once:
    • "Voice actress tweeted it was her dream to be in a nintendo game." (Like Ninja, she just did it for the money.)
    • "reminder you can play this on amico for $250"
    • "These games are not mobile quality. They are extremely polished."
    • Pat uses combo breaker meme.
    • Pat says it's guys with short or no hair that tell him to cut his.
    • (After this it was right back to 80s commercials.)
  • Pat ordered his suit (note: singular) from Penny's or Marshall's online for $250 and saved 70%. (His suit sucks.)
  • Pat gets offended at a commercial because it makes light of the near extinction of the California Condor. Seems surprised they were affected by lead poisoning and power lines.
  • Boomer Pat didn't know there was a Serpico TV series.
  • Pat amused by Vampire McNugget.
  • Boomer Pat remembers My Sister Sam.
  • Pat thinks wireless transmissions for kid's toy was illegal by FCC regulation. (All radios need to be FCC compliant.)
  • Destiny Fomo was apparently in the Twitch chat in one.
pat being pat:
  • On the East Coast, Pat would jog and "assholes" would yell at him from their cars.
  • article on black widow spider bite to become Spidermen
    • Pat says he likes these stories to find out state of educational system.
    • Pat says it's Bolivia and he sounds disappointed. (Think he wanted to rag on Utah again.)
    • TLDR Three boys aged 12, 10, and 8 goaded a black widow into biting them to become Spidermen. They survived.
  • Ep 214, Ian's going to take THC+CBD after podcast. Maybe smoke a joint.
    • (Ian sounded really down this podcast. I think he's dying.)
    • Pat takes CBDs.
  • Pat rewatching DS9
    • Pat up to season 3.
    • "You forget how good DS9 is."
    • Pat says the characters are better than TNG. Likes the political and personal conflict between them. "There's class tension."
    • Andrew Robinson as Garak. Says noted as Scorpio killer from Dirty harry. Pat says "it's how a killer would act".
  • ep 215, q&a Pat doesn't want to answer question about book question (what series they've read). Pat has nothing to say (because he obviously doesn't read).
  • ep 218, Pat gets a haircut.
    • His stylist wore mask wrong, nostrils oustide mask.
    • She cut his eyebrows without asking.
    • He usually has to tell her how to do his hair just right. (Because she sees hundreds of customers every month.)
  • ep 218, Pat goes to flea market.
    • Says he has to track his PC games, almost rebought Ultima II.
    • Says a bunch of games were worth nothing 5 years ago, are now valuable. (Pat profits again.)
    • People at flea market wore masks improperly, but less so than the zoo.
  • ep 213, Pat had a Twilight zone experience.
    • Cracked phone screen. Screen replacement cost $80. Repairman traveled to his location.
      • Knows screen costs $20, but didn't want to do repair himself.
      • (Reminder: Pat thinks he can solder together a Switch.)
    • Did an impromptu Pat the NES Punk on Pac-Man's 40th anniversary. (It's not on YouTube as far as I can tell.)
    • Lost his Amazon Fire remote under the Pac-Man shit he had dug out for it.
    • Some neighbors came over to ask the paint color of his house.
      • They wanted their house to match or complement it.
      • Pat gave them a sample from a paint can.
    • (Like most Pat stories, I don't know what the point of this was.)
  • q&a hypothetical: what kind of business would Pat and Ian open?
    • Ian says restaurant, but Pat would be useless. Ian would want a diner.
    • Pat wonders how tought it would be to open a business during contrivirus.
    • Pat says they'd kill each other at a game store.
      • Ian worked 13 years in game store, doesn't want to open one.
    • La Mesa's doing great, says Ian. Business has been crazy since reopening. Very busy.
      • Chula Vista is doing better.
    • Ian doesn't see a future where he isn't working.
  • Ian has degenerative disc disease.
    • His vertebrae are fucked.
    • He might need surgery if therapy doesn't work.
    • He sounded really down on one of the podcasts, like he was going to die in the near future.

Posts: 1885
Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2019 3:48 am

Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by Dehbashi » Fri Jul 10, 2020 12:29 pm

I so wish he had the Kung Flu and spread it. That would be hilarious. :lol:

User avatar
Musical Space Cowboy
Posts: 101
Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2017 5:25 pm

Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by Musical Space Cowboy » Fri Jul 10, 2020 4:17 pm

I wish he was among the .04% of Burgers who died of it. The rare times I read these recaps show me how unlikeable and useless this guy and his friends are.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Majestic-12 [Bot], Moe Bitches and 10 guests