Pat the NES Cunt

Whine and Bitch about people long after they become interesting to talk about
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Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Wed May 13, 2020 5:12 pm

His fate was sealed when he did a crossover with Spoony.
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
-Yours Truly

Cucked in the name of Soy, Ye not complicit.

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Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by mad bum » Wed May 13, 2020 8:10 pm

Guest wrote:
Wed May 13, 2020 12:44 pm
At less Rich can make fun of himself. Pat is reaching Spoony levels of smug.
Only thing that fuck did was have idiots likes reviewtechhell boost his channel giving him the DSP effect.
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Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by BobbyBoucher » Tue Jun 02, 2020 8:55 am

Time for some Contriversy: another update in the life of Pat "It's just a protest, bro" Contri and Ian "Garbage Merchant" Ferguson.

Hot off the heels of supporting Chinese fascism, Pat now supports Black Fascism.

Current update is CU Podcoast episodes 205 to 212, plus various live stream in between. Previous update was 200 to 204.

First up, Classic Pat updates:
  • Pat may in fact be the Boomer Emperor. He talked a bit more about getting YouTube TV and dropping cable TV. I'm fairly certain he used Cox cable for TV and AT&T as an ISP. My literal boomer parents know you don't that.
  • Pat previously stated he was planning on investing in a barcade.
    • Well the Game Chasers recently put out a video where Jay said he was planning on creating a barcade and sought people he knew as investors.
    • All these fucks are jerking each other off.
    • Contrivirus killed it or at least put it on hold.
  • Pat prefers streaming 80s commercials to playing games.
  • Pat thinks now is a terrible time to try Stadia despite the fact ISPs have removed data caps due to contrivirus.
  • Pat also wonders why people need Stadia if they have a computer. (Integrated graphics on laptops suck.)
  • Pat thinks Star Wars being at Disneyland is weird even though the parks have had Star Tours. (His parents never took him to one of the parks.)
  • Pat says working as a game dev is worse than working on a movie set. (classic pat)
    • Says you only work on a movie set for a few months. (Yes, but possibly outdoors doing physical labor controlling dangerous machinery, not sitting at a desk.)
    • (#patquote)
      • Pat's an idiot. If you're on the stunt team, you can be drastically injured, just like that stuntwoman on that Resident Evil film.
      • Final episodes of Game of Thrones sucked, but they were filmed on location in the snow.
  • Pat thought Apollo Legend's countersuit had merit and wanted to donate money to it. (It was dropped two days later.)
  • Pat's birthday livestream was boring.
    • He raised something like $1500 for contrivirus relief, then Google matched 2-for-1, so the total was $4500. (((Google))) had a total of $5 million available, so it's not a guarantee it increased.
    • His ex-girlfriend "Denise" appeared on stream. I don't know if they were doing a bit. She lives on an island (Hawaii) and works in healthcare.
  • Pat bought a clone of his Cabbage Patch doll to strip the clothes off and put on Markie Stevens.
  • Previously Pat said we should freeze all debt in response to contrivirus.
    • Since then, I've known several people (including LordKat) who've either bought or sold houses in this situation.
    • Pat's "freeze all debt" plan might have ruined their ability to do that.

The main course, Pat retweets in support of Black Looting Matters:
  • Pat's been retweeting various pro-BLM/protest/riot accounts:
  • The deleted retweet: (Compares violent antifa to peaceful lockdown protestors.)
  • Black Nerd Comedy's Andre "Never Relax" Meadows links to scam MN Freedom Fund:
  • Seth Abramson:
  • Retroware (yes, Retroware):
    • Comment says it's JD posting, not Lance. John Dehlia is somehow a bigger fag than Fag-Lance. I didn't know that was even possible.
  • Third capture:
    • Jirard's father's store got looted: (Cue Apu on top of Kwi-E-Mart with a shotgun.)
    • A retro video game store as well: (Pat gets some heat in the comments.)
    • Shithead BLM/Antifa supporters in comments.
    • Pat and Andre did not withdraw their BLM endorsements.
  • Ian tweets archive:
  • Fourth capture, with Confederate Flag-shaming:
    • Didn't Lincoln say: "I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend"?
    • Frank Cifaldi says to support black voices in "our industry":
  • Going by this, I assume Pat thinks these are just innocent protestors.
  • But the rioters have:
    • Burned down a $30 million low-income housing project.
    • Destroyed numerous other businesses, including Uncle Hugo's sci-fi bookstore. (In Uncle Hugo's case, their insurance apparently doesn't cover civil insurrections.)
    • Injured some people, killed a few.
    • General looting of electronics and liquor stores.
    • Threatened to "kill the white folk".
    • Said not to target black businesses: (Uh-oh, race war.)
    • "not the library, that's where people read" (quote of the century)
    • Someone tried to rob a FedEx truck, got caught in chains, dragged and killed. There's video and an aftermath picture.
    • One Protestor of Peace set themselves on fire when tossing a molotov cocktail.
    • A disabled woman (or a fat lazy one on a scooter) was attacked.
    • Some guy tried to defend his business with a sword and got gang beat to the point his body was contorted in an odd shape. If he's not dead right now, he probably will be soon.
    • At least one police officer was killed (San Francisco or Oakland, I think. The guy was black, too: ... 1/page-587)
    • I saw at least one SUV plow through rioters/protestors and definitely run over a guy, but he might have survived.
    • St. John's Church in DC set on fire.
    • Just tonight, one protestor lost her sister to another protestor (read rioters).
  • The protests in general are the breaking the precious quarantine Pat cared so much about.
    • More than likely, random people are hitching rides together, thus spreading the virus.
  • What part of "protests allowed, riots not" do people like Pat not understand?
  • This is over the accidental death of man (autopsy said he did not die of asphyxiation, but did have some drugs in his system) by a cop married to a Hmong woman.
    • The city government immediately brought charges and fired the four officers involved. (Bit risky, some might have wrongful termination suits. Especially the rookies.)
  • Nothing justifies this, no matter what shitlibs like Pat think.
    • All those comparisons of non-violent lockdown protestors to the armed police response to BLM/Antifa are idiotic.
    • The police knew BLM/Antifa are a violent lot.
  • I wonder if Pat will acknowledge the riots once he finds out about Logan Paul?

The rest is organized by category rather than going episode by episode.

contrivirus-related (Pat & Ian mock Re-Open protestors; riots make them look good, but they will never admit it):
  • switch price gouging
    • During segment, Pat snidely refers Amico a couple tipes.
    • Pat says 50% of calls at Luna are about the Switch.
    • Pat says Nintendo production may be unaffected since it moved to Vietnam. (Pat was against the tariffs that caused Nintendo to move production.)
    • Pat says Vietnam and Southeast Asia has avoided the worst of the Contrivirus.
  • Ep 206, Pat goes shopping.
    • Pat wore a bandana (presumably over his face) when shopping at Sprouts. (Use a clear face shield from a hardware store.)
    • Says the Dollar Store was depressing.
      • Bought a toy/nerf gun there.
    • Says cashier (or customer service rep) at Dollar store was wearing mask, but not gloves.
      • He tried to talk to her about it, but she blew him off and messed with her phone.
      • (You don't need gloves as long you wash your hands. Unless you have a cut on them.)
        • The big problem is accidentally touching your face: mouth, nose, eyes.. Gloves won't stop that. Face shields/masks/goggles would.
  • Ep 206, q&a contrivirus effect on video game collector's market.
    • Pat's cousin put $35k into a crappy car that sold for $11k.
      • Sold it to the guy he paid to mod it.
    • Pat's not sure. Thinks it could go either way. People might sell off and drive down prices.
    • Ian says we have to wait to see what happens. If the government doesn't get its act together and rents don't freeze, people will be more willing to sell.
      • It depends if people stay home and play the games.
    • Ian also says that the current gaming crowd would more likely play a GameCube or Wii game rather than SNES.
    • The look up prices for some games:
      • Mario Kart on SNES? [Gone up]
      • Mario Party on GC [Gone up, all entries, CIB and loose]
      • Mario Sunshine on GC [Gone up]
      • (People should just use the Dolphin emulator.)
    • Pat says he's played GameCube the least of the Nintendo consoles. (Hints he might do a book on it. So much for his "expertise.")
    • Pat complains about repro labels when he looks up Little Samson prices.
      • Says that expensive collector pieces might not rise in price whereas common games people play will.
      • (Price charting says Little Samson did rise during the lockdown, but has dipped recently.)
  • Ep 206 with contrivirus talk
    • Pat says the country won't reopen until June 1.
    • Ian says app data shows San Diegans don't move around a lot in contrast to Florida.
    • Ian says with the current lockdowns deaths will be reduced from 100k to 80k.
      • (Turned out to be wrong. Though the official numbers might be overcounting. Subtracting the bad data might get it down to 80k.)
    • Pat at least blames De Blasio for New York's problem.
    • Pat hears China lost a bunch of users on social media or something and that might mean they have more deaths.
      • (If it's social media, it could just be mass censorship by authorities.)
        • If it's the China Mobile stuff, it could be a shutdown of cell/data lines as businesses shutdown.
        • I doubt they lost 14 million people. 300k is possible.
  • Ian and his boss Traig would celebrate Zombie Jesus Day (Easter) by making Zombie cocktails.
    • This year, due to contrivirus, Traig made the cocktails and delivered to his friends' homes.
  • Ep 208, they complain about how people wear masks.
    • Pat says he say a woman in her 20s without mask chatting with grocery staff. (She's very likely to survive if she did get it. Maybe she already had it and is now immune?)
    • He also saw older people with masks but not covering nose. (If they are mouth breathers, it doesn't matter.)
    • Ian saw a group of 12 20-somethings wearing masks around their necks, which he objected to. (Obviously they would put them on when entering some building or something.)
    • (People around me go out to run/exercise. I see very few wearing masks. It's something meant for stores/public transportation.)
  • Also ep 208, they then complain about the ReOpen protests
    • "arrogant ignorance," says pat.
    • Ian calls them astroturf. (I'd say 50% astrotruf, 50% real.)
      • Says that the people protesting are businesses owners who want their employees back to work.
    • Says there were idiots honking at hospitals with sick and dying people in them.
      • (Some hospitals are laying off staff due to lack of patients. Not every city/state is equally hit.)
        • Some people did not like those tik-tok hospital vids being posted.
      • (Some people are protesting because their local leaders are idiots. The protestors are not all greedy capitalists like Ian claims.)
        • A California town/city filled in a skate park with sand.
        • Michigan's governor banned motorized boating for some reason as well as saying people couldn't visit secondary homes they own.
        • Michigan also banned golf carts on golf courses.
        • British police were doing some odd things as well.
        • There's a difference beteen saying "no large congregation in a store/area" and "no fishing/hiking/camping with your immediate family".
        • Some places are being hit with tornadoes and shit as we speak. Quarantine can't last in those conditions.
  • Pat says WWE was declared non-essential.
    • Then America First Super PAC donated (or bought ad time?) $18 million to Flordia. Vince's daughter is on the board.
    • WWE was then essential.
    • ( ... h-carolina)
    • Pat says this whole situation shows the true side of people what with the XFL shutting and WWE layoffs.
  • Pat sas he was planning on buying a new car for his 40th birthday until this happened. (He currently drives a Honda Civic that I think his father bought for him.)
  • For the first few days/weeks of lockdawn, Ian could only pace around, not play games or read.
    • Understands now why people recommend retirees get into a pattern.
    • Pat says he spends most of his days at home.
    • Pat says he's spending more time excercising.
      • (He's previously said he spends two hours per day exercising at a gym. So he might be spending 3 or 4 now.)
  • around ep 210/211, frank visited
    • Pat admits it's possible he was asymptomatic.
    • Pat says he wishes there was a home test for it.
    • (There are tests.)
      • They are inaccurate and could give false positives/negatives.
      • The other problem: The tests take some time to travel and be tested.
      • In that period, you then get infected. That's been the problem from the start.
      • This isn't AIDS.
  • ep 212, Luna slowly reopening
    • trade-ins being accepted and disinfected, but people still can't enter the store.
    • Ian says essential workers probably more tired, but two full days of work tired him out.
    • Everyone's been wearing masks, but Pat and Ian implore people to wear masks.
  • Something I forgot to add with Pat's anti-GameStop antics:
    • Video stores still exist.
    • Blockbuster is dead, but Family Video still exists. Redbox exists.
  • (I should bring up Pat's plan to freeze all debt would cause massive problems.)
    • First, there are still people employed.
    • Second, freezing debt means freezing credit/loans/mortgages.
    • A house near me actually sold. It was on the market for a few weeks, but it did sell.
    • LordKat put a downpayment on a house.
    • I know someone who just sold their old house like a week ago.
    • Economic activity is still occurring.
    • A complete freeze is unworkable.
    • Unlike Pat, I don't think I'm qualified to come up with a 100% perfect alternative.

gaming (Borderlands 3 bonus scandal and actual gaming topics):
  • pc engine mini released.
    • not pushed back like turbografx mini
    • Pat wants auto-fire switches. Ian never used them.
    • Pat says he's going to get one because he's a Turbografx freak.
    • Pat says this is better than emulation because of menu effects. Despite admitting the emulation on the mini has problems.
    • pat is annoyed US is getting censored version of a game (Pretty sure he at one time mocked weebs for complaining about censorship.)
    • (it includes an untranslted RPG. There is a fan patch, but it obviously is only usable on PC.)
  • some master system game is dumped
    • Pat says dumps are becoming more common, more people are getting the message or at least crowdfunding for them.
    • Pat says it's okay to shame people who withhold games
  • Dragon's Lair movie
    • They think Ryan Reynolds is a bad choice. Want someone to play it completely straight.
  • Ep 206, more GameStop
    • The again rag on it for trying to do curbside pickup like Luna is doing.
    • Pat checks stock price.
    • Pat says to short gamestop.
      • (Probably a bad idea since the price is bouncing around. If it had a steep climb, this would make sense.)
  • atari casino
    • Pat thinks online gambling should be legal everywhere.
    • cryptocurrency used as tokens
    • pat offended Atari would use its brand for this.
      • says he warned about BitCoin two years ago and it crashed. (Any idiot could tell that would happen. I predicted it as well.)
      • (Yet he advertises a shitcoin podcast. Money beats out morals for Pat.)
  • Wii Sports selling
    • TLDR games selling during pandemic.
    • Ian says he watched R-rated movies in theaters without issue when he was underage.
    • Pat got carded at age 25.
    • Pat asks about cornhole game.
  • q&a gearbox pulling employee bonuses despite success of Borderlands 3.
    • Ian calls Rand Pitchford a giant fucking douchebag.
    • Employees were paid below industry average.
    • Sales were record high.
      • (But it premiered on the Epic store.)
        • If I remember correctly, it launched on Steam in a package deal.
        • They might have lost revenue.
        • Or used (((Hollywood accounting))) to not count the Epic bribe money.
        • Pat accepted these exclusive deals, saying Steam should compete.
    • They complain about $12 million signing bonus for Pitchford back in 2016.
      • They admit it didn't come from the employee's share, but say he should give them some anyway.
      • Pat wonders why he was paid this much money.
      • (He's the CEO and President of Gearbox, idiots.)
        • While someone someone else may be the lead designer of the game, Randy is probably making it as profitable as possible.
        • 2K Games gave Gearbox the money to make the game.
        • Gearbox is private not public, so I guess any compensation can be set for Randy. Maybe he doesn't even earn a salary?
        • The game took 3 years to make, so $4 million a year for a CEO isn't so bad.
        • He's also co-founder so probably owns a chunk of shares.
    • Pat then brings up the USB porn drive incident.
    • Pat says working as a game dev is worse than working on a movie set.
      • Says you only work on a movie set for a few months. (Yes, but possibly outdoors doing physical labor controlling dangerous machinery, not sitting at a desk.)
      • (#patquote)
        • Pat's an idiot. If you're on the stunt team, you can be drastically injured, just like that stuntwoman on that Resident Evil film.
    • "sales projection off base" says pitchford
      • Kotaku, source of segment.
      • (Pat & Ian repeat the article poorly.)
        • Turns out profit sharing has existed from since Gearbox was founded. It wasn't created just for this one game.
        • Bunch of employees profitted off Borderlands 2.
        • Lifetime unit sells are high, but profits are low.
          • This is due to high cost of development.
          • It may also be due to using Epic first rather than Steam. That's my speculation.
        • Idiot commenters in the Kotaku article think Randy's bonus was "embezzlement". Some are more reasonable.
      • (birdman "footloose" dodd repeated this.)
  • ps5 controller
    • pat dings amico, "Never seen a controller with a touch screen before."
    • Ian says the white color will attract grime.
    • Pat says he prefers concave/convect buttons like on SNES or with ridges/indents to feel the shapes.
      • Ian explains DualShock controller symbols.
      • (If Pat had a 3D printer, he could print replacement buttons.)
  • Stadia now free
    • Pat says this is now the worst time to try this since there is a reduction in bandwidth since everyone is staying at home.
      • (I didn't understand his meaning here.)
        • (((ISPs))) have eliminated data caps, just proving how their caps are full of shit.
        • Google and other content providers have reduced the default quality of video streams to make sure bandwidth stays available.
        • Google has also reduced the bitrate on Stadia so it'll probably look worse.
        • So the elimination of badwidth caps means it's the perfect time to try Stadia, though the quality will be worse.
        • This isn't really going to affect latency, so the gameplay will be about the same.
        • Various gaming hardware has increased in price or is unavailable, so that's an argument for Stadia as well.
    • Ian was shaking after playing Thumper in VR.
    • Pat officially cut the cord and switched to YouTube TV. (So was he using AT&T for TV or did he use Cox for TV and AT&T for Internet?)
      • (Curious. Looked up pat's address at Cox. Says outside of cox market?)
        • San Diego is supposed to be 100% Cox.
        • All of Pat's neighbors can get Cox cable.
        • Checked with AT&T, neighbors got an offer for 100 Mbps, just like Pat's house got a few months back. For pat, it's now "already serviced" message.
        • So Pat did switch ISPs. It is possible he had AT&T for a landline and Cox for cable.
        • My notes say AT&T had "change service to 100 Mbps" when looking it up. I think Boomer Pat did have a landline from AT&T and cable from Cox.
        • Boomer Emperor confirmed.
    • Phil Harrison - Pat says that sounds like an exec's name. (The way he says it, I'm not sure if Pat recognizes who Phil Harrison is.)
    • Pat asks "why'd you need Stadia if you have a computer?"
      • (Not all computers are gaming machines, Pat. There are a bunch of laptops without gaming GPUs. Chromebooks can't do it. Not all games can run on Macs.)
        • Consoles and Steam all support streaming to PCs/phones. The only one that doesn't is the Switch.
        • This man asks us to trust his expertise enough to buy books from him.
    • Ian's friend's game is a Stadia timed exclusive.
      • It's called Gunsport. Ian playtested it a couple years ago. Says it's really good.
      • Ians happy Stadia is giving it a chance to be released.
    • Ian says Stadia shuts in June, Pat says September. (Usually companies wait a year for this stuff.)
  • ESRB loot box label.
    • Pat goes off on the "in-game offers" terminology in the (I presume) press release.
    • Ian then says games will be labeled with "in-app purchases symbol", deflating pat.
  • q&a will there ever be another console competitor to challenge the big 3
    • they say consoles may have peaked, Microsoft is trying to get out.
      • Say Launching and developing consoles too expensive.
      • Pat argues you can play most of the games on a computer.
    • Pat dings Amico by saying controllers don't sell consoles, games do.
    • They cite competition from phones.
  • PS5 low shipments at start due to Contrivirus.
    • Devs guess at $500-$550.
      • Tough sell, says Ian.
      • Says $600 may be the limit since it was a joke with the PS3.
      • (Pat doesn't bring up inflation like he does whenever game prices are mentioned. Odd.)
    • Both suggest this is the fixed console cycle coming to an end.
    • Pat accidentally reads the launch game list for the PS4.
    • Ian expects Nintendo to have a good Christmas with their release lineup.
      • (Who knows? Maybe the entire population will be too fed up with games by the time the contrivirus ends and everyone defaults on their mortgages.)
  • Wata grades a repro of FF2 for NES.
    • Ian is okay with it because Wata is providing a service, not selling the item.
    • Pat isn't okay with it because it legitimizes selling a possibly counterfeit item.
      • Ian doesn't care because it's "corona-times".
      • Pat also says Ian legitimized the illegal chemical market in high school.
  • Saturn/Dreamcast MODE adapter
    • Now hard drives can be hooked up to a saturn to read disk images.
    • (Polymega is fucked.)
  • switch bot scalping
    • they complain about scumbags.
    • suggest downloading birdbot to snag own switch
  • build your own switch
    • Pat pretends he could build one if he knew how to solder.
  • last of us story leak
    • Pat thinks it might be due to crunch. (Jason "Captain Crunch" Schreier)
    • They speak as if Naughty Dog is somehow an important developer.
    • They say whichever employee who broke the NDA will never work in the industry again.
  • CoD cheaters forced to play against each other.
    • 70,000 cheaters banned.
    • Now lobbies used to match cheaters together.
    • "There's no more honor in society," says Pat.
    • Pat says in Feudal Japan, cheating at board games would get your head cut off, so he thinks.
    • Also says cheating at poker in the wild west would get you shot. (That involved money and alcohol, idiot.)
  • Game & Watch 40th anniversay
    • they claim doing properly on zeroes and fives. (they did Game Boy twice, one for NA, one for JP.)
    • Ian had Ball, Zelda Dual Screen, Parachute, Mickey Mouse Panorama color (sold it because of a broken lamp).
    • Pat says Nintendo perfected the d-pad and others never got close. (Referring to Sega and other systems of the time.)
      • (Sony beat them. The Dual Shock d-pad is better because movement is absolute, no sliding the thumb on the d-pad.)
        • Pat doesn't know this because he went to PC after SNES/N64. He skipped out on several generations of gaming.
        • Nintendo's patent expired in 2005, so Sony clearly didn't use theirs.
    • Ian thinks calculator shops existed.
    • Pat hasn't bought anything from Luna in two years.
  • q&a good video games with bad stories
    • Ian:
      • Borderlands because the humor is written for 14 year olds. Says it's like Deadpool.
      • Final Fantasy XV. He likes the gameplay, but doesn't care about storyline.
    • Pat acknowledges he hasn't played very many modern games and struggles to think of one.
    • Despite never having played it, both say Assassins Creed.
      • Pat complains that the whole Animus/Abstergo thing is too complex and the games should have just been set in the past. (he's not wrong)
      • Pat wonders if the animus is still part of the game in Origins/Odyssey. Ian says he never hears anyone talk about it.
        • (If they had checked an LP or wikipedia, yes it is. As far as I know, everyone hates the outside animus parts.)
      • Ian says there are copies of all the Assassins Creed littering the store.
  • Nintendo hacked.
    • Pat notes that leaks first appeared on 4chan, but then "ResetEra was soon talking about it." (I don't know why this is important. I think Pat's just a bottomfeeder like Kotaku.)
    • Pat says the source code can be used to make anything, even hardware clones.
      • (Anyone can look at a N64 motherboard and see what chips are on it. Firmware source code can make it all work together.)
    • Pat says anyone trying to use it will get sued, but the Chinese will ignore it. (Pat doesn't know what "clean room implementation" is.)
    • (Pat doesn't bring it up, but N64 emulation should get better because of this.)
    • Pat wonders why Nintendo would have geneartions of Wii and GameCub data available.
      • (I hear it was in China and invovled the iQUE player somehow.)
        • Besides, multi-site backups are best for company that depends on its IP to make money.
  • q&a reddit parent deletes son's minecraft world.
    • (pat uses reddit content, the last refuge for scoundrels)
    • The childless manchildren say the parent was too harsh. Pat compares it to taking apart a bunch of lego toys.
    • Pat complains about his father throwing out his Cabbage Patch dollie accessories.
    • pat keeps bringing up the tossing of his doll clothes and nes boxes to his father
      • pat bought a clone of Markie Stevens to strip and put on his original doll.
      • (Definitely no arrested development here. Nope, not at all.)
  • They talk about Limited Run dispute with Merge games about some exclusive deal.
    • People were complaining and blaming Limited Run.
    • Pat says these are first world problems, that it's not worth complaining about.
      • (Fat lot coming from this two.)
        • Pat complains about his childhood every fucking week. It's either Kevin, his cabbage patch doll, or something about bullies.
        • Ian wants to buy custom Switch models, but can't afford health insurance.
  • Dogs in Last of Us Part 2
    • Gamestop had a writeup on website.
    • Pat says it's not selling him on the game.
    • Ian says he likes depressing things but only in short bursts.
    • They mention some game where dogs are killed.
      • (Don't mention Deus Ex or first Witcher game. Because they haven't played those, obviously.)
  • Nintendo takes down N64 PC port
    • Ian not sad this was pulled since it's not a fan game, says guy who made it probably expected it.
      • (If he had the source code, re-compiling could've been done in 5 minutes. That's zero work on his part.)
  • nwc grey 6.0 lists at $130k on an auction site
    • Pat has one that he says would be 7.0 or 7.5.
    • Pat says they need to see what a gold sells for. (Got to watch his investments.)
    • Pat says the people buying this are unaffected by economic downturns. It's the fringe collectors who stop.
  • sega saturn 25th anniversay
    • Pat jabs at 42nd anniversary of Star Wars.
    • Saturn is Vonnie's (Ian's wife) favorite system.
      • She got hers by cancelling the limo for her prom and using the money to buy a Saturn.
      • She told her prom date he'd need a ride.
    • Pat surprised at low sales of Saturn in US.
  • q&a nintendo sales numbers.
    • Ian doesn't care about Switch numbers.
    • Ian says Animal Crossing sold so well due to lockdown.
      • Also says it sold well because it's accessible to everyone.
      • Compare to FF7 Remake which sold about 4.5 million, but was waiting for decades.
    • Pat cares about Switch numbers.
      • Suprised it will surpass the SNES.
      • Says strong sales should've been expected since the Wii U sold poorly and there was pent up demand.
      • (Well, it's technically a handheld so should be compared to NDS and 3DS.)

streaming shit (Pat streamed games a couple times, but now just watches 80s commercials):
  • Pat Pirated Doom back in the day. Lab partner gave him the disks.
  • Pat doesn't know what a source port is.
  • Pat blocked someone right at the end of a stream, says it was the only one in the last few weeks.
  • pat again refuses to play Chrono Trigger because it has "75 endings".
  • During his 80s commercials streams, Pat thinks Care Bares are rip-offs of Wuzzles.
    • (Care Bares is what made collectible plush toys an industry/market segment.)
  • SNES Sunday:
    • N64 Book is in pre-production. Streams SNES games instead of N64, for some reason. (Because why not save a ton of time by streaming the games you review?)
    • Pat says he'll make saying "you suck" in chat a bannable offense. (This might've been a joke, but he seemed angry at the guy who said it, and banned people in some other streams.)
    • Chat asks if they will do a daily podcast. Pat says Ian may not be up for it.
    • Thinks streaming once a week is difficult.
  • Pat doesn't know if he's getting a stimulus check. Will be getting a rebate.
  • Pat thinks he looks younger than John Goodman in '83.
  • Pat apparently belonged to a fraternity.
  • Bill Cosby commercial, Pat sounds somewhat disgusted.
  • Pat's father never bought him a Happy Meal.
  • Pat doesn't know what anthropology is.
  • Pat thinks the Care Bears are a Wuzzles rip-off. It's the other way around.
  • Pat's mom sold Avon in the 80s or something.
  • Pat says no kid owned a pinwheel in the 80s.
  • Pat makes fun of old guy flipping burgers.
    • Says in the 80s guys like this had pensions.
    • (Guess where Ian's ending up.)
  • Due to a bad Flash Goden-esque Togo's commercial, Pat says the chain must no longer exist. (Pat's wrong again. Still around.)
  • Pat says any kid who had a telescope in the 80s had yuppie parents.
  • On immigration news promo, Pat says San Francisco is 500 miles from the border so it shouldn't matter.
    • (NYC has a massive illegal population. Many from Latin America, but also Europe, Africa, Asia.)
  • Responding to a political ad, Pat says: "Don't we want the Reagan Republicans back?" (No.)

drama (w/ other youtubers, VCS, Amico/Tommy Tallarico, and now Billy Mitchell):
  • they reference ReviewTech a few times:
    • "upset someone on twitter flailing his arms around."
    • Pat calls him "Slime Face USA".
  • Pat repeatedly makes jabs at the Amico during his livestreams and various podcast topics.
  • Atari sued by VCS designer.
    • Tin Giant sues Atari over VCS.
    • Not paid. Amount in excess of $216k.
    • Also suing for defamation.
    • Pat and Ian side with Tin Giant without evidence of who is correct.
      • (Maybe the Tin Giant guy is wrong? $216k is a lot for designing a plastic shell for off-the-shelf components.)
    • Pat snidely refers to Amico when he says consoles have to look elsewhere than Kickstarter for funding because it requires a prototype.
    • Pat mentions laser shaver as a Kickstarter scam.
      • Causes him to tangent off to talk about Star Trek.
      • Says he couldn't tolerate TNG (found it boring) as a kid but likes it now.
      • He likes DS9 because of its dark tone and complex plots.
  • amico update (Pat spends 30 minutes dissecting a 7 minute video he didn't even fully watch.)
    • It's preordered something like 12,000 units according to Pat.
    • Pat says there is an article on that sounds like a press release.
    • There's a YouTube video that looks like it's geared toward investors.
    • Amico now on Fig.
      • Pat says it's now effectively crowdfounded with this and the pre-orders.
      • He says now more financial questions must be asked.
    • He brings up Coleco Chameleon again.
      • Says big risk not that it doesn't come out, but that support is dropped immediately, leaving consumers in the lurch.
    • Pat watches the video, but didn't see all of it (skipped around). He gives his thoughts.
      • Says it's like a Shark Tank pitch.
      • Takes issue with it being called a "market disruptor".
        • Pat says to be a disruptor, it has to take the place of the thing it's disrupting.
        • He gives an example of Uber and Lyft market disrupting taxis. Says it revolutionized the industry.
    • (Pat implies market disruption is always good.)
      • But Uber and Lyft involved abusing regulations. They count as limos, not taxis.
      • And the drivers are sure as hell earning less.
      • And the presence of those cars on the road can cause massive problems.
    • Pat snidely says he was right that Tommy is banking on Intellivion history to sell it.
      • Tommy apparently said he wasn't going to do that.
    • Ian says there are $150 products that do this same thing.
    • Tommy says "people game together until the Internet showed up, then people gamed alone in dark rooms."
      • They take issue with "stereotypes".
    • They take issue that older people can't use modern games/technology.
      • Pat says elderly people these days know about technology.
      • Vonnie has a 66 year old co-worker who plays Animal Crossing.
      • Pat's dad owned a computer in the '80s.
      • (A few eps back, Pat said no one over 53 knew anything about video games.)
        • Guess he's lying just like Tommy lied about using Intellivion's legacy?
    • Apparently Germany is funding four of the launch games.
    • Patented Karma Engine to adjust difficulty to player
      • Ian says this is nothing new and other games have had similiar rubber band AI.
      • Pat says he's not sure if this can be patented. (Broad ideas can't be, but specific innovative implementations can.)
      • (I suppose Tommy's point was this was going to be in all games, not just a handful.)
    • $150 million line of credit is just to show off we're a a real business, says Pat.
    • Pat finds the hybrid of crowdfunding and investors concerning. Says they can't fund this with their own money.
    • Tommy has the guy who brought Tetris to America onboard.
      • Pat says that was 32 years ago.
      • (Pat considers himself an expert on games despite the fact the games he plays are around 30 years old.)
    • Michael Pachter is bullish on Amico.
    • (Many of their criticisms make sense. But they're acting like babies just like during the Diablo Immortal incident.)
    • [The video:]
      • It's 7 minutes long and Pat didn't all of it?
      • Tommy is right in that there are few couch multiplayer games these days.
      • Going by videos, his target market is Mormons. There actually is a market for weird religious-types who refuse Switches because of Satanic influence.
      • Some of "screen interaction" using the controller does seem neat. Almost like a board game.
      • Pat's autistic criticism of Tommy is on the level of me criticising Pat.
  • amico interview by toploaded gaming
    • Pat praises it because they guy didn't give softball questions like certain someone else.
    • Pat says Tommy turned pink in the face later in the interview when it wasn't going to be a puff piece.
    • (I watched the interview.)
      • I didn't really see the argument Pat saw.
      • They didn't really discuss anything substantial. Tommy just talks about adult/offensive content found on major consoles.
      • Toploaded gaming just seems to be a drama channel like a hundred others.
      • Tommy is 52, but looks better than 40 year old Pat. Apparently, Tommy married a woman a little under 38.
      • Good criticism would be of the "no ports" or at least no shallow ports rule.
      • Or that Tommy might engage in negative marketing against Nintendo/Sony.
  • End of ep 210, Pat says he doesn't own any of the podcast shirts they've sold.
    • Takes the opportunity to jab at people who wear their own shirts in their videos. (Probably ReviewTech.)
  • dreamworks guy creates mobile-only 10-minute limit streaming service - Quibi
    • it fails, blames contrivirus
    • Pat and Ian say this is just like Amico and Stadia.
    • Say the people design these products/services pretend that a slice of market isn't being met.
      • (In Stadia's case, there are places with cheaper/better/unlimited Internet access. Like South Korea.)
      • (Amico's target market are Mormon's who don't trust Nintendo/Sony/Microsoft. Tommy may not know it, but that is his market.)
      • (A carefully targeted streaming service could still work.)
    • without evidence, pat claims google did no market research for stadia.
      • Pat claims expertise because he used to work at one, from which he nearly got fired.
      • (It's quite possible they simply asked someone who worked for the OnLive or PS4 streaming services.)
    • Pat says 60 year old CEOs are out of touch about technology
      • Ian brings up Trump saying people use ID for groceries. Says "No we don't." (Alcohol, idiot. Also some drugs/medicine.)
    • Service advertised itself and not the shows it had. (The Amico seems at least to be advertising itself correctly. The retrofag YouTube crowd is aware of it.)
    • Boomer pat liked the reno 911 tv show and saw the movie in theaters.
  • j. allard joins intellivision
    • say it's a marketing move, past design phase
    • Say this is like Reggie on GameStop.
    • Pat says the controller needed redesign at the start.
    • Say the pre-order customers and general consumers are obviously different groups.
  • Billy Mitchell sues Twin Galaxies
    • Pat explains anti-SLAPP lawsuits to his low IQ audience.
    • Pat says Billy will have to explain MAME screen to judge/jury.
    • Pat reports that the founder of Twin Galaxies supports Billy and there are 25 affidavits of witnesses.
      • Also says there was a forum thread where Billy lost every vote.
    • Pat says he's glad not to be a part of the arcade game records clique. (But he is a part of the games journalist clique.)
    • Pat says it's not defamation if it's true.
      • (Ian is a drugged out loser who earns minimum wage at a GameStop knock-off.)
        • Pat is 40 year old manchild who collects toys and gives advice on games despite playing fewer new games than Conan O'brien.
        • Pat paid $1.2 million for a 2300 square foot shit house. Still complains about not getting paid for Video Game Years or writing articles for Mike Kennedy.
    • (I know Billy Mitchell is in the wrong here, but Pat is such a fag about it that I hope Billy wins.)
      • I think Billy just wants the lifetime ban removed. He'll redo the scores once he can enter again.
  • billy mitchell sues apollo legend.
    • Legal expert Pat says defamation for a public figure is harder because you can say anything you want about them.
      • (The wisdom of a defamation lawsuit is inversely proportional to wealth.)
        • In short, rich people/companies have reputations. Damaging it can hurt their abilitiy to earn money. Thus damages can be massive.
        • Billy Mitchell does have a business and a reputation built off that, so damages are potentially possible.
    • Pat decides to donate some money right then and there, but needs to get his credit card. (only idiots donate to legal gofundme campaigns)
    • Pat and Ian are positive about the countersuit. (The countersuit was dropped two days later or so.)
    • pat says he's anti bullying.
      • (He is the most obsessed man I've seen with his jabs at his perceived enemies. Most other YouTubers bash for a trend, but give up when the trend goes away.)

wrestle wrestle (all sports, name just to fuck with spoony if he ever tries to come back):
  • Pat will not watch wrestlemania in an empty stadium.
  • Ian misses basketball since contrivirus killed all sports.
  • Pat watches The Last Dance documentary about baseketball.
    • Pat says YouTube TV is great and he should've got rid of cable two years ago. (I'm convinced he had a landline and cable tv at once, now.)
    • Ian hasn't had cable in years.
    • Michael Jordan teared up. Says he struggled to be competitive and make his team competitive. (Ninja's competitiveness is bad, tho.)

consoome product (Star Wars, MCU, collecting):
  • ebay pricing shenanigans
    • will show buy it now price (or list price), not price item sold for.
    • Pat says video game market and all other markets affected by this.
    • this is the dark side of capitalism, says Pat.
      • "don't go leftist on me," Pat says to Ian.
      • "*going* leftist?" responds Ian.
    • Pat also complains about counterfeit game manuals and such. (Obviously the IP owners don't care or they'd C&D Ebay.)
    • (Just imagine, if this applied to real estate, we couldn't know pat paid $1.2 million for a house.)
  • new switch revision in Japan with larger battery
    • joycon custom colors, other system updates
    • Ian and Vonnie each got 128 GB SD cards for their Switches.
    • Pat bought 256 GB for $20 on Black Friday.
    • new switch sold in japan, get voucher if you pick old one with smaller battery
    • Pat said they should be sold directly in US like Japan.
  • May the 4th
    • Ian is sick and tired of Star Wars. Hasn't seen Rise of Skywalker. No idea if he will. Hears bad things.
    • Pat says the film was heavily changed in editing. He knows from a source. (Yoshi Vu, did CGI for SNES book and Game Chasers movie.)
    • Pat says even the concept art is drastically different.
    • Disney cut 20 minutes without telling Abrams. (Doesn't matter. Abrams is still shit.)
    • "dumb fucking redemption arc" says Pat.
    • Pat says he did a special video review for it.
  • Pat reviews Rise of skywalker (I waited to pirate the movie, then remembered he did this.)
    • Pat say it at 8:05 AM in the morning. Theater a third full. Went early in its run or something.
    • Pat says he's a Star Wars fan because he collected toys and played games.
      • Played TIE Fighter and Rebel Assault.
      • (Fucker did not read books or play KOTOR. Casual.)
        • Or comics. Rise of Skywalker is basically Dark Empire.
    • Pat says it's weird to see Star Wars at Disney Land.
      • (Fucker didn't know about Star Tours. They also sold merchandise at Disney stores.)
        • Then I remembered that his parents never took him to Disney World. Ha ha.
        • Disney World had an AT-AT model in the park. Pat would never forget it if he had seen it.
    • Says TFA was a pretty good movie. Says backlash due to nostalgia.
    • Pat says that Rises kind of skips over TLJ. Says TLJ had a space chase and unrelated scenes.
    • Pat brings up that Kylo was wounded in the final duel of TFA. (Apparently to explain why Rey won.)
      • (That's a pointless observation.)
        • There's no logic or reason for the duel to happen.
        • The characters aren't in direct conflict. TLJ had to retcon Snoke as bringing them together because JJ is a shit writer.
        • Even then, there's no tension in the fight. Rey overcomes Kylo effortlessly just as she effortlessly escaped prison or dealt with the monsters on Han's ship.
        • How did Kylo catch up to Rey and Finn if he was wounded? How fast can he walk with a wound that severe?
    • Pat says the three main heroes have good chemistry but not a lot of screen time in the first two movies. (Rey and Poe don't even meet in the first one.)
    • Pat confused about Rey's parents being Sith junk traders. Wanted more background on them. (The implication was that Kylo knew/suspected but lied to either protect her or out of jealousy.)
    • Pat says Rey is a fine character, but likes Kylo better.
    • Pat says this just proves how Star Wars is a limited universe.
      • (Reminder: Pat watches all the MCU films. A film series which universally devolves to "punch bad man".)
    • Pat gives 7/10 for TFA and Rise of Skywalker, 6 or 6.5/10 for TLJ.
      • Thought Rogue One was good, thought Solo was okay.
  • Cuntsoomer Pat says he went to Infinity war on opening night at 11 PM. Got out at 1:30 am.
    • Was very close to the screen so had to look up.
    • Says he would've prefered to watch on his nice TV. (in regards to movies streaming instead of going to a theater)
    • (Just wait for a matinee showing.)

other shit (Pat stories and othe minutia):
  • q&a super mario's 35th anniversary
    • Ian says he'd like a remaster of Mario 64.
    • Says Mario Sunshine sells out quickly at Luna.
    • Ian thinks there might be a remaster or package of the Wii U Mario games since the console sold poorly.
  • Episode 208 just cuts off 30 seconds before the end. This was apparently an error because another version was complete.
    • Pat and Ian said "coronavirus" a few times this episode.
    • Pat said he was gonna bleep it, but I guess only for the YouTube version.
  • Pat says he's an X-lennial - between Gen X and Millennial. (He's desperate not to appear old.)
  • Pat getting a 100 lb commercial heavy bag.
    • Hang in Patgoda or Pat-garage.
    • Pat says he isn't could at screwing in mounts in ceilings.
    • Might get a weighted stand and put in backyard. (Should've bought a larger house 20 minutes away.)
    • Pat's "kinda engineering" cousin says it's 100 lbs, but more when moving.
      • Uses for cardio, says his body isn't built for running and he hurt his legs doing it a while ago.
  • Pat says he plays Zynga poker while watching TV.
  • Pat didn't know the phrase "tongue twister".
  • Ian's shoulder hurts from old condition. Got steroid shot for it.
  • Ian says the FF7 Remake is good.
    • Pat only played original briefly once. Mostly just watched someone else play it.
    • Ian says "we had to grow up watching people play RPGs."
    • Pat says people born between '78 and '83 are X-linials.
    • Pat says Millennials grew up with the Internet and he didn't.
    • "Gen X grew up with Brady Bunch, we didn't."
    • "We're the Saturday morning cartoon generation."
  • Ian says he would name his hypothetical kid "Eustice".
  • Pat says he's a good copywriter. (Someone who rights advertising blurbs.)
  • Someone sent Ian shelf stable pizza.
  • Pat says a 24 ramen pack would last him a year or three. "So dense" he says. (Only 300 calories.)
  • pat childhood stories: pat gets into a fight
    • (it's boring.)
    • Pat lies to his father, saying he didn't start it.
      • Pat provoked it by calling Jeff trash.
      • Jeff then threw pizza at Pat.
      • Pat then attack jeff and other students had to pull him off.
      • Pat may have kicked Jeff while he was on the ground.
    • Father then took him to see Crow at Perth Amboy cinemaplex, near Razz Ma Tazz.
    • They talk about Twins. Boomer pat saw it on TV 3 weeks ago.
    • Pat thinks Danny Devito is in his 60s.
  • pat recently saw Trek III for first time, says it's not good.
  • Pat's dad complained about size of steak at a Sizzler's to Pat's embarassment. The manager had to apologize.
    • They stopped going to it.
    • Only went three times. Pat liked the cheesy bread and shrimp cocktails.
  • 5 year old tries to drive to California to buy a lambo.
    • Pat asks if this is a fair example of the Utah public school system. (5 year olds probably aren't in it yet.)
  • Pat talks about turning 40 in a few days.
    • Says his body can't handle using the heavy bag 6-7 days in a row. (Pat once said he exercises two hours per day.)
    • Pat says he has the skin of his mother. "I have her cheeks." (Implying youthful looks.)
    • They then get into an argument over the use of words and whether Ian has met/seen Pat's mother and can compare.
    • Ian uses word "fotch" which is not a word. (He clearly made up this word to not appear gay or something.)
    • They make some snide remarks that [Trump] press conferences should have instant replay.
  • Pat's 40th birthday
    • Pat says he was more depressed at 30 back when he moved to San Diego.
    • He was directionaless. His YouTube channel only had 3000 subscribers.
    • Pat says technology has changed drastically in 10 years with the Internet and smartphones.
      • "I can't program the VCR," jokes Pat.
      • Says podcasting wasn't a thing 10 years ago. (Pretty sure it was.)
    • Ian isn't afraid of his mortality. (Is that why he doesn't have health insurance?)
  • Pat watching TNG, says season 7 is rough.
    • Pat says only one of the four TNG movies were good.
    • Says Generations was garbage. (Most likely he thinks First Contact is good. What a scrub.)
    • Says Yesterday's Enterprise creators/writers would have saved it for a movie with the original cast.
    • Ian says DS9 was more his show.
      • Pat angry that Jadzia was removed in the last season. (Terry Farrell was a terrible actress. Hell all of the characters were badly written.)
      • Pat likes Miles "Gas the Cardies, Dominion War Now" O'brien. Doesn't care for his wife, Keiko "Internment Summer Camp" O'brien.
    • Pat complains there aren't more episodic shows like TNG.
    • Ian's father likes Discovery, but it might be because the 2nd season is better.
      • Friends of his have varying opinions, some love it, some hate it.
  • At end of ep 212, Pat says he has to get his cracked phone screen fixed. (He uses an iPhone.)
  • Ep 209, pat gets a bidet
    • pat wanted one because of toilet paper shortage. Ian says it's not that bad.
    • His friend Yoshi Vu (who worked on Episode 9) recommended one.
    • pat says he has called a plumber 5 times in past 2.5 years he lived in Castle Contrivirus.
      • His toilet clogged after the last marathon due to his guests. (He could have used a manual snake tool.)
    • This time, he tried to take his toilet seat off to add the bidet.
      • Turns out his seat was somehow bolted on. There were no slots for screwdrivers.
      • He had to call his plummer who never saw anything like it.
      • Took 90 minutes to get toilet seat off.
      • It involved a blowtorch.
    • 6:15 PatJob (like handjob?).
      • Claim TP lobby keeps bidets downs.
      • They then say breakfast cereal is bad for you.
      • Pat says you got to keep busy during contrivirus epidemic.

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Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by mad bum » Tue Jun 02, 2020 9:24 am

Thanks bobby for the continued autism, I'll read the rest when I wake up.
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Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by rabidtictac » Tue Jun 02, 2020 9:57 am

I wouldn't call the death of Big Nog accidental. I can easily imagine it was intentional and constitutes manslaughter or some shit. It just doesn't justify all the looting, pillaging and violence and I'm tired of hearing faggot shitlibs say it does.
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Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by Salmonella » Tue Jun 02, 2020 11:55 am

Lol at him being one of the cucks who is "investing" in this barcade. I guarantee this is going to end in delicious drama.

Also, what kind of braindead consoomer WANTS to watch commercials?

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Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by Dehbashi » Tue Jun 02, 2020 1:46 pm

Interesting. I didn't know that Apollo Legend even filed a countersuit to begin with let alone withdrew it. It would be funny if Billy Mitchell win. I want the dorks who were whining about the integrity of game records to flip out. I would laugh because I guarantee you that in gaming cheating is everywhere. It's like in professional sports. Everyone cheats. Just some get caught.

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Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by Kugelfisch » Tue Jun 02, 2020 2:40 pm

Eh, Billy Mitchell is such an unlikeable twat that I don't wish anything but a fatal car accident on him.
Psalm 137:9

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Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by CIANigger » Tue Jun 02, 2020 2:52 pm

Kugelfisch wrote:
Tue Jun 02, 2020 2:40 pm
Eh, Billy Mitchell is such an unlikeable twat that I don't wish anything but a fatal car accident on him.
Baldness would sting him more than any serious injury.
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Re: Pat the NES Cunt

Post by Kugelfisch » Tue Jun 02, 2020 4:28 pm

CIANigger wrote:
Tue Jun 02, 2020 2:52 pm
Kugelfisch wrote:
Tue Jun 02, 2020 2:40 pm
Eh, Billy Mitchell is such an unlikeable twat that I don't wish anything but a fatal car accident on him.
Baldness would sting him more than any serious injury.
He's the kinda fucker to just wear a wig and pretend nothing is wrong. I'm not entirely sure he isn't already wearing one.
Psalm 137:9

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