Pat the NES Cunt

[mad bum]

SEE THE QUATERING?! I'M FRIENDS WITH HOLLYWOOD SUPERSTAR JAMES ROLFE! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS FAGGOT!

[Poonoo]

"Here is relics of ancient history"

James: I wish I had your hair
Pat: I wish I had your subs

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Everyone else: Who is that guy besides James?

[Guest]

Pat has my exact hair type, which is why I keep it short and manageable. Nintendo Nerd can have it if he wants it.

[Guest]

"Here is relics of ancient history"

James: I wish I had your hair
Pat: I wish I had your subs

Are we sure that hair isn't a fucking wig?

[Guest]

1. The only reason the AVGN has anything to do with Pat or the rest of that shitty clique is because ScreenWave corral all those sacks of shit into riding his coat tails for more exposure.

2. The replied to that tweet are hilarious, No one likes Pat.

[Kugelfisch]

Pat has my exact hair type, which is why I keep it short and manageable. Nintendo Nerd can have it if he wants it.

Found the Jew!

[Guest]

Pat has my exact hair type, which is why I keep it short and manageable. Nintendo Nerd can have it if he wants it.

Found the Jew!

Well, hunting Jews is in your blood Kugel!

[mad bum]

You know what you just do kugel before he destroys DHI.

[BobbyBoucher]

Another update from Pat "I play Zynga Poker on the toilet and therefore I am a gamer" Contri as well as Ian "Entitled gamers think games have to be good" Ferguson.

But first, some updates:

• I found a candidate for Pat's cousin: ZombiUnicorn.
  • She actually fits at least one things he's said:
    • This year, he said his cousin has been streaming for 7 years. Well, so has ZombiUnicorn.
  • Her real name is Natalie Casanova, which is Italian. (Though she claims to be Cuban.)
  • I guess she's one of the more popular female streamers, but not the topmost.
  • She definitekt thots it up for free stuff.
• Nintendo announced they're moving some of the Switch production to Vietnam.
  • Pat said they'd never do it, but here we are, even if it is only some of the production. Sony, Microsoft, and even Apple are considering a move as well.
  • However, the tariffs for game consoles wasn't implemented. I guess Pat's bitching was for nothing, as usual.

Anyway, on to the shitshow:

Summary:

• pat didn't know the olympics are every two years (winter/summer)
• Pat is only writing 80 reviews for the SNES guidebook. He also hired someone else to edit and fact-check.
  • So I guess he's the manager, then?
• Pat & Ian think games don't have to be good.
  • "You're entitlement is the game works, not that it's good, fun, or playable," says Ian.
  • I think they even said food doesn't have to taste good. (I'm as confused as anyone.)
• They call the Shenmue III preorder situation a disaster.
  • Now no longer consider Epic Games Store a good thing.
• Pat & Ian now realize Google Stadia was a bad idea.
• They call GTA Online's casino "online gambling" and "peak loot box" even though the online component requires no real world money at all.
• Pat has seen every MCU movie in theaters.
• Pat thinks he can still call himself a gamer despite not enjoying games anymore.
  • Says an athlete can still call themselves an "athlete" after retiring.
  • The term would be "former athlete" or "ex-athlete" so Pat would be a "former gamer" or "ex-gamer".
• Pat expects NES prices to drastically fall.
  • (((Coincidentally))), Pat's selling off his collection, just like the Game Chasers did.
• Pat doesn't know the origin of the phrase "crossing the rubicon".
• Pat & Ian call for gun control, thinking it will stop terrorist attacks.
• They talk about the Game Boy anniversay a second time. They already talked about it during the Japanese anniversary.
• Pat might make a GameBoy guidebook.
  • He didn't grow up with the system.
  • A GBA book would be better since more variety/better games. But Pat has no experience with it and Ian has very little.

cupodcast 168 ("Those entitled gamers"):

SpoilerShow

• ian went to zoo 7 times in 8 weeks
• far from home review
  • pat's score: 8/10 (Very Cool)
• g2a key reselling controversy.
  • pat says pewdiepie ran ads for it (pat ran ads for shitcoin)
• gamergirl bathwater
  • Pat doesn't blame her, probably because his cousin is a thot who does the same thing
  • ian checked snopes about the bath water herpes thing
• ian loves fester's quest
• pat didn't know the olympics are every two years (winter/summer)
• Ian is reminded he can go to a dispensary to get some top shelf marijuana.
• q&a Is the SNES book harder to produce due to Pat's lack of experience with it?
  • He brought writers he trusted. Some didn't make the cut.
  • Did less writing himself.
  • Hired an editor to help and do fact checking.
    • [What the fuck is Pat doing then?! He claimed to be working 6 hours per day. I understand RPGs are time-consuming, but he could do all the sports and fighting games himself.]
  • Christina wrote over 100 reviews.
  • Pat wrote only 80 reviews instead of 450.
  • Working on book for 3 years.
  • Pat asks Ian if he should do Game Boy or N64 next.
    • Ian suggests Genesis.
    • (He could do a book on DOS/PC games. Not super nostalgic or good for collectors, but it would be interesting.)
  • Pat shot a Punk episode a year ago and hasn't edited it. Needs some CG.
• Ian doesn't care about Ross Perot.
• On question about gamers entitled to certain quality level.
  • Ian says they shouldn't be cash grabs. (Diablo Immortal?)
  • Ian says not entitled to all Pokemon.
    • Vonnie likens it to a competitive card game.
  • "You're entitlement is the game works, not that it's good, fun, or playable," says Ian.
    • Can't return comic books or games, he says. (Well, you could always rent or borrow from a library.)
  • "Food shouldn't be rotten, but it doesn't have to taste good." (?!)
  • "It's art, an idea. If you don't like it, too fucking bad," says Ian.
    • [Artistic merit exists independent of whether or not you buy something. Professional game critics should be aware of that.]
  • "If it's a mobile game, you don't have to buy it," says Pat.
• Ian has softened on WayForward, may buy new River City Ransom game.
• Magic World of Ania, Ian has been watching it. (Not sure what this is, he must take acid before watching it.)
• They're going to Long Island retro gaming con.
  • Pat is going to missouri game con the week before.
  • Pat will take a sabbatical in September. (Because that's what a man who works one day a week needs.)
• [I think Pat saying something about him playing a mobile game (Dr. Mario World?) and that counts as a modern game.]

cupodcast 169 ("Epic exclusives might be bad after all"):

SpoilerShow

• ian got an arcade cabinet for his no doubt tiny apartment
• poker ai beats experts
  • pat thinks it's scary that an ai can beat humans, may see it on battlefield.
• ian said one of his first predictions for the Switch was a lite version
  • (easy enough to make considering the DS lite exists)
• Pat brings up lack of rumble on Switch Lite.
  • That's a good observation. He should really question why anyone would buy one for $200. It lacks so many features, it should be $125.
• Pat "1.2 million single family home" contri complains about the pricing of the TG-16 mini
  • Thinks the USB controller hub is bullshit. (maybe the SoC supports bluetooth controllers? Or generic USB hubs.)
  • Pat won a TG-16 from the Star Ledger Newspaper.
• PS mini sells out at $20.
  • Again, Pat seems to be commenting out of his depth.
  • Pat claims that at the retail price of $100, the PS mini wholesaled for $50, and cost sony $20 to produce.
    • First, he didn't include payments to game creators like Square Enix. That would raise costs.
    • Second, I wouldn't expect it be below a Raspberry Pi in production cost (around $35), assuming mass production brought down price of components.
    • He also claimed retailers would take a $20-30 loss on it.
      • Big retailers might have the power to force Sony to eat the loss.
      • Walmart is big enough to order manufacturers to change how they make a product or what they put in it.
      • GameStop would just return games if they didn't sell. They'd suffer no loss other than shipping costs.
      • Think of it like Amazon. They've got tons of shit for sale, yet hardly purchase/own any of it. Yet they still get a cut of the sales no matter the price. I'd assume Walmart would have similar arrangements for some of their products.
      • So, basically, some mom and pop stores might have gotten screwed if they wholesaled some PS minis.
  • (I should also mention that Pat complained there were only 20 games on the PS mini. But this were CD-based games so took up much more storage than SNES/NES/Genesis.)
• gamestop renovations
  • pat still laughs at the people who gave pat shit for it
    • (In ep 156 @ 54:25, they supported CEO's "Guaranteed to Love It" program. So Pat's not quite the businessman he thinks he is.)
  • pat & ian joke that that "gaming hubs" will feature misogyny
  • pat fails at the "how do you do, fellow kids" meme
  • "automobile retails is evergreen," says Pat/Ian.
    • unless tesla/electric vehicles gain traction
  • pat admits most gamers aren't into retro
    • ian says some people walk into Luna then walk out when they find out its only retro
• Shenmue III - no preorder bonuses for kickstarter backers
  • "It's a disaster," says Pat.
  • pat and ian reverse themselves. now side with people who were critical of epic game stores.
  • they both now understand why consumers don't want another download client and EGS brings nothing new to the table
  • but pat seems to refuse to blame Epic for creating this problem in the first place
  • ian couldn't find the reason why people hate Deep Silver.
    • They're the ones who made Metro Exodus an Epic Games Store exlusive.
    • You two called Valve cry-babies for that.
  • What Pat and Ian don't realize is that Epic's strategy is simply screwing up a game's sales window.
    • Depending on the title, most consumers may refuse (or be unable) to purchase on Epic Games Store.
    • Which means most sales will occur on Steam, a year later.
    • But those consumers probably don't want to pay full price, and new games come out all the time.
    • The dev/publisher also spent the bulk of their advertising/marketing budget at the first launch, not the second.
• gba 720p adapter kit
  • Pat knows nothing about the GBA game library.
  • Ian played a few GBA games. Ian also knows little despite them selling a lot at the store. Knows it's popular.
  • "I love the SP, it's briliant," Pat says despite never using one.
  • Jesus fucking Christ, these guys don't about one of the most important consoles in history.
    • It's like the Game Boy, but with a lot better games.
    • It's like a portable SNES. There are a lot of ports from SNES/Genesis libraries.
    • Also some originals like Boktai, Golden Sun, Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, some Castlevanias, and so on.
      • And fan-translated games like Mother 3.
      • There's probably more good/relevant GBA games than good Game Boy games.
      • Pat is a consultant on a retro indie game, yet hasn't invested time into one of the best platforms for 2D games.
  • pat complains about price, doesn't understand manufacturing by hand is expensive
• q&a: ian's happy handhelds not happening
  • Ian blames the rise of toxic youtube community in the past 5 years
  • they have youtube betrayers, talked to one's wife before it happened (reviewtech?)

cupodcast 170 ("Google Stadia now sounds like a bad plan; GTA casino is online gambling"):

SpoilerShow

• comic con recap
  • it's boring
• MCU phase 4
  • it's even more boring
  • (terrence howard was smart to leave)
  • "chris hemsworth is absolutely magical as thor" says pat.
  • D23 next week. (Very cool.)
  • Pat watches all these movies. (Of course.)
    • Ian hasn't seen the two new Spiderman films.
  • James Rolfe was invited to a boat party by the Rick and Morty guy (claims to know Pat's "work").
    • Pat was his plus one.
• Google Stadia update.
  • Pat and Ian notice that Google kills products. And the bandwidth usage will eat through caps.
    • They only noticed because someone else said something.
      • They can only regurgitate other people's talking points.
  • Ian only has the choice of one ISP.
  • Pat has fiber optic gigabit, but it has a data cap.
    • He plays $100+ a month just for Internet.
      • (Boomer Pat also has cable TV)
    • Apparently, AT&T gigabit has a 9 TB cap unless you bundle with television service. So is Pat using a different company for cable TV?
  • They now conclude it is dead in the water.
    • Months ago, anyone could tell you that.
    • I should note that Pat was fairly positive on Stadia when it was first announced.
  • Compare it to Apple Arcade (which isn't a streaming service)
    • Their "reporting"/regurgitating on this issue is still shit.
      • Stadia will work with third-party controllers.
        • Especially important since some of the games listed work best with mouse and keyboard.
        • https://support.google.com/stadia/answe ... ic=9339018
      • The monthly payment is only for the "Pro" version, which gets the user 4K streams.
        • Stadia Base is apparently coming at a later date.
      • The service will work with the Chrome web browser in 2020, so a Chromecast or a compatible TV are not necessary.
      • (Although what's hilarious is that Ubisoft games still require Uplay accounts.)
    • (GeForce Now already has a better business plan for this. They just lease out virtual machines. The user just installs Steam, downloads games to that virtual machine, and remotely plays them. Pat and Ian are too ignorant to know this, though.)
• gta online casino
  • a.k.a. Pat & Ian are incompetent morons, redux. They basically get everything wrong.
  • "this is peak loot box," says pat
    • no pat, this is like winning tickets in an arcade, then redeeming for prizes
      • games of chance = gambling
        • Contests/sweepstakes are exempt from this as long as they provide a way to enter/participate without paying.
        • You can play GTA's casino without paying anything. You can earn the items without the casino.
      • games of skill = not gambling (more skill = more tickets)
  • there are other ways to earn money in GTA online, such as heist missions
    • the player isn't required to pay any money
    • I don't even play the game, yet I know that.
    • It seems it's possible to make $3-400k an hour in GTA. A casino might increase that if players stick to something basic like blackjack.
    • Since the game has been out for years, this is essentially just late game content for die hard fans who have it all.
      • People pay cash if they want to jump back into a game quickly to check things out.
  • contrast this to loot boxes, which typically require purchasing a key or something to unlock.
    • The only way to get unique skins/items in some games is to use the loot box mechanic.
      • Everything in GTA Online is accessible just by playing the game.
  • There's already a gold jet in the game that costs $10 million.
    • And it seems to have worst handling than the standard passenger jet.
  • Do some fucking research, Pat.
  • "Companies would put actual gambling in games if it were legal," says Pat.
    • No shit. Companies comply with the law! (Except for immigration.)
    • Online gambling is actually legal in some countries. It's been a point of contention between the US and Europe.
  • "This will be a prime example [of gambling/lootboxes]," says Pat.
    • No, Pat. This is a completely optional part for long-term players.
  • $63 million number isn't for the penthouse, it's for everything in the updates (clothes, vehicles).
    • https://www.pcgamesn.com/grand-theft-au ... sino-money
    • Penthouse itselfs if only $6.5 million.
      • https://www.gtabase.com/grand-theft-aut ... he-diamond
    • So, Pat continues to be bad at his job.
    • He definitely priced the penthouse incorrectly.
      • Then he corrects at the end ($63 mil includes DLC).
      • Then gets it wrong again ("there are cheaper ones").
      • I assume he's trying to talk while reading shit. That's why he gets so much wrong.
    • Beyond that, is there anyone, besides autists, who insists on collecting every single item in a game?
      • The average player will grind for a few cars and outfits.
  • The $50,000 hourly limit at the casino would indicate that the player can't piss everything away all at once.
    • If anything, that seems to put the breaks on pure gambling.
      • The player can't blow all their money at once at the casino.
      • They can also make more than $50,000 an hour just via passive income.
  • So, essentially, the casino is just another activity that can win or lose the player money.
  • Good job, Pat. Quality work as always.
• pat bought a first-run boxed Mario Bros at comic con.
  • Except they cart inside the box was a three screw instead of a five screw.
  • Ian hates people who flip video games. Doesn't care about collecting games anymore. (His store clerk job must be a living hell.)
  • Pat says Ian has some student loans. (Might be a joke, I couldn't tell.)
  • Pat claims he never got lucky like finding a Magical Chase or Little Samson for $20.
    • I'd say getting an NWC gold cart for around $10k and it now being worth nearly $100k was lucky.
  • Nearly 40 year-old pat would like to display his GI Joe toys.
• ian has to write a summary of comic-con
• q&a can Pat still call himself a gamer
  • pat says an athlete or martial artist can still call thimselves athlete or martial artist.
    • But an athelte needs to be professionally recognized at some point.
      • Who considers pat an authority on anything that actually matters?
    • Pat's the equivalent of an old fat ex-baseball player whose heyday was 30 years ago.
      • Tries to give advice to NBA players, a completely unrelated field.
    • Pat played NES, TG-16, a little SNES, then went to PC. And that was it. He returned to NES for reto game collecting.
      • He basically skipped out on Genesis, PlayStation, N64, DreamCast, PS2, GameCube, GBA, NDS, Xbox, 360, PS4, and Xone.
      • But he got a Switch recently and played a few Nintendo games on it.
  • Ian says Pat doesn't play games for fun anymore.
    • Pat says he's playing some for the book.
      • Reminder, he's only playing 80 for the book.
      • If anything, he's being lazy about it.
      • Most SNES games are pretty short or unmemorable. He could do most of it himself.
      • Christ, he could probably burn through all the sports games himself.
• q&a First game they played online.
  • Ian played Imagination Network and Sierra On-Line.
  • Pat called himself "BuffPeon" for a screen name.

cupodcast 171 ("gamer requirements for Pat"):

SpoilerShow

• new intro music
• "loosy goosey podcast"
• [another answering machine]
  • barbara andrews - federal student loan robocall
  • he doesn't have studen loan, paid it off 12-13 years ago
  • Uses CallProtect app
    • "i don't understand it, it's like magnetism" says Pat
  • [Jesus christ, the day after I make this note I get like 20 spam calls.]
• Developer Jerry owes Pat $3,000 for the guidebook app.
• Book is 97.9% done.
  • Finished in a week, sent to print.
  • He will "become a gamer again".
• Ian got an N64 upscaling cable for free. I don't know if he's reviewing it, but it costs above $100, I believe.
• some autist on youtube make a list of "gamer requirements" for Pat
  • Pat & Ian take this as an opportunity to knock it down as a strawman
  • Pat claims he is a gamer because he plays mobile games on the toilet
    • He plays Zynga Poker.
    • He could use Steam Link to play real games using a phone and controller. Or play more SNES games for his guidebook.
  • "There are people that think like this that are gatekeeping," says Pat.
  • (Pat will never be gamer because he can't use his brain to figure anything out)
    • It's like saying you're a film critic when you haven't seen Citizen Kane.
      • Or any Oscar winners. Or small indie arthouse films. Nor would Pat have a favorite director/writer.
      • I don't think he's even played a GTA game. It defined a genre.
        • Or Fallout. Or the System Shock games. Or Thief. Or most of the Final Fantasy series.
        • Hell, Pat never kept track of GTA Online news. He couldn't even be bothered to look up the facts when he covered it.
      • You don't need to play every game, but you need a cross-section to make a good analysis.
      • Pat "Playing Zynga Poker qualifies me to talk about the Witcher" Contri
    • Speaking of film critics, Pat really likes the MCU and seen every film in theaters.
      • Maybe he shouldn't be the judge of quality.
• Pat enjoying The Boys on Amazon Prime video.
• Fortnite tournament
  • Pat says gamers are actually younger people who play this game.
  • Pat calls Fortnite a great game despite having never played it.
    • Likes the cartoony design.
• TF2 lootbox mistake.
  • They just read a Kotaku article.
  • Pat says marketplace for digital items is a dumb idea.
    • Ian says "it's not our world".
  • Pat says it's a shitty practice.
    • Ian says it's like collecting baseball cards. Pat then grumbles to himself.
    • (Wait until Pat finds out about leveling your steam account to increase your friends list.)
      • If he used Steam, he'd know this by now.
• bethesda login for doom
  • They says using logins for the first three doom games is dumb.
    • But Bethesda has its own launcher it's pushing (like Epic).
    • Or Ubisoft. But I don't pat's played an ubisoft game. Ever.
  • this somehow leads to them talking about:
    • [circle k cops news item mentioned]
    • [23andme slave commercial]
    • "Corporate heads get into a room and convince themselves stuff like this is a good idea," says Pat.
      • [Like CNN convincing themselves Russian Collussion ever happened. Ol' Pat fell for that one.]
• q&a collector's edition stuff in free bin at luna video games
  • pat says he took a remote control car from call of duty 2 or something
    • the rubber wheel fell off and he had to replace it
• q&a NES game prices in ten years
  • pat expects 75%-80% to drop their value.
    • A lot will have Atari-level pricing, he says. "A couple hundred $1 games."
    • Pre-2006 pricing, but above 1998 pricing, he says.
  • ian says there are lot of collector's at conventions that are determined to keep prices high
    • He says rare games like Little Samson might hold value as long as collectors hold onto them.
  • Pat says you don't get to charge for the roof repair of house in price.
    • Depends on market. In California, that might actually happen.
      • Pat's depending on his house appreciating in value. He'll sell and profit.
      • The houses appreciate so quickly, you might well be paying for a new roof.
  • On a previous podcast, Pat has said he's planning to sell off most of his collection in the near future.
    • I'd figure a real gamer would hold onto collection since they love gaming so much.
      • Like a real comic book lover keeps comic books to read.
      • Or someone holds onto back-issues of magazines even if they have no value.
      • Or wargamers who dedicate so much time and energy to painting miniatures.
      • Those people would only give up their collection if something major happened in their lives like getting married, having children, bankruptcy, or moving.
        • But not Pat. He sees a market downturn coming and knows to sell. That's a good way to flip assets, Pat.
          • The only reason he isn't panic selling is that he bought most of his collection when it was cheap and/or got good deals (by taking advantage of ignorant sellers).
            • He seems to take no responsibility for encouraging the inflation of the retro market.
            • I think he bought 80% of his collection before 2006. Probably another 17% before 2009. The last 3% were ultra rare items by 2012.
  • Ian says he doesn't see many NES collectors anymore. Just people who randomly pick stuff up.
  • "Not a true collector if you don't have Little Samson and Surprise at Dinosaur Peak", jokes Pat.
    • "That's gatekeeping," he says afterwards.
• q&a "Why are sequels and remakes in games more tolerable than movies"
  • Ian says it's because old games need to be made to work on new tech.
  • Pat says it's because each game is an experience that differs between people.
  • "They might remake Endgame in 20 years for some reason," says Pat.
    • The super hero genre is going the way of the westerns within 20 years.
      • The entire genre will die off except for a handful of films.
  • Says Rocky movies are same story retold 7-8 times.
• q&a how pat would end NES Punk
  • He'd do 10 eps in a Netflix drop.
    • Would require time and money.
    • Create an overarching plot

cupodcast 172 ("We fucking need gun control now"):

SpoilerShow

• double shootings
  • "reasonable gun control laws"
  • "securing our elections"
  • "tiring to talk about" - I agree Pat.
  • "other countries have same games but not same levels of violence"
    • Might want to check that ethno-cultural makeup.
  • "they don't want to lose money from lobbies" says Ian.
  • "NRA contributes to Republicans"
    • "Partially backed by Russia."
    • "A foregone conclusion."
  • "A buffoonish President that stokes bigotry."
  • Pat basically calls for Trump to be voted out of office.
  • Pat's scared about going to conventions now.
  • "This isn't a political debate. Like climate change." says Pat.
    • Immigration isn't political either.
    • Assimiliation isn't political either.
    • Pat "My policies aren't up for debate. Yours are." Contri
    • "Everything is political." -Pat and Ian on some other episode.
    • Pat want to check the gun laws in his home state of New Jersey and see how well that affected the crime rate.
  • Pat rushed out his viewpoints on the shootings. Uploaded it to youtube same day as recording the podcast.
    • He usually waits at least a day or two before segment uploading.
• Warehouse for his books had to be restocked.
  • Truck broke down.
  • Sold out of book at convention.
  • SNES guidebook is getting proofed right now.
• Every part of US is flat but california, says Ian.
• Golden Corral
  • Ham was gray.
  • Pat tried ham, spit it out, it was bad. Game Chasers Jay later agreed.
  • Taco bar was fine, he says.
  • "we can't get universal healthcare because of places like Golden Corral," says Pat.
  • Pat "showdown at the golden corral" Contri
• Ian's birthday is the 9th.
  • He's about ten years older than his boss, Traig.
    • He's 37, Pat's 39.
    • Ian "37 year-old game store clerk" Ferguson
    • Pat "40 year-old unemployed man" Contri
  • Pat gave him the Bloodsport original soundtrack.
• Ninja moves to Mixxer
  • Dr. Disrespect said they'd need 5 big streamers to make a move work.
    • Pat disagrees with an expert and says they only need one.
  • "we in an anti-capitalist state of mind, but it's okay to make money," says pat.
  • Announced Aug. 1st, Aug. 3rd - had 500,00 followers, 716k on Aug. 6th
    • "that's pretty quick says pat."
      • No, it's dropped off, pat. The rate of gain is decreasing. It might top off at 5-6 million in six months.
  • Pat thinks Twitch might not have known their most popular streamer was switching.
    • Unlikely, since he probably had a special long term contracter than typical Twitch users.
  • AskJeeves is better than Bing, says Pat.
  • (This will probably end up like Epic "exclusives" purchases.)
• GameStop lays off dozens of regional managers
  • "you took away their jobs because you don't know how to run a business," says Ian.
  • [Aren't regional managers idiots?]
  • "50% of PS4 games sales were digial"
    • "it's the rubicon," says Pat
      • "what movie is that from, I just know the expression," says Pat
  • "manager skills transfer", says Ian
    • [Maybe Ian's a little worried about his future?]
• Game Boy 30th Anniversary
  • [Didn't they do this before?]
    • The did the April 21st one in Japan.
    • Doing it again for North America.
    • Reusing content!
  • ian reads from wikipedia
  • Pat hints at a gameboy guidebook
    • says it would be better than n64
    • (GBA would be better than either.)
  • Pat didn't have one as a kid.
  • (They talk about it being more advanced than previous handhelds, but games like the first Mario Land were primitive.)
• sealed kid icarus auction
  • heritage auctions have to pretend they are experts
    • just like pat and ian!
  • money in the hand is worth more than in the future, says Pat. (That's terrible investment/planning advice.)
  • complain about yahoo article from 2010.
• genshin impact
  • pat blames the DOW jones losing 800 points on tariffs
  • said he's trying refinance his mortgage and it's affecting him (ha, ha, ha, ha)
  • Gee, Pat should realize shithead captialists/investors may not always be right.
    • These are the guys who shortsell companies like Tesla to make a quick buck.
    • They profit from moving factories overseas and firing Americans. Of course they hate tariffs.
    • They also favor importing foreign labor to undercut local labor.
  • Libertarians like Pat support free trade with fascist regimes like China.
    • But authoritarian countries aren't like democracies. They can tell farmers to fuck off if they protest trade policies.
• q&a games they are ashamed not to have played.
  • pat played some of NES metroid, but no Super metroid.
    • He never played the first Wing Commander Privateer, Final Fantasy 4 and 6 on SNES, the XCOM series Secret of Monkey Island, Grim Fandango (and other LucasArts games).
      • (Real gamers download and played patched versions of Star Fox 2, FF5, and others. Pat's been a non-gamer for decades.)
      • He did play FF7, but I'm betting he never beat it.
  • Ian has never played Chrono Trigger (Pat played it, but never completed).
    • Traig (Chad to Ian's Virgin) says he should fix that.
  • Ian says Myst is garbage.
  • [Reminder, these people give advice on what to play/buy. Pat is a paid(?) consultant.]
  • Pat pirated Rome: Total War in 2003.
• q&a question about sandwiches
  • They autisitically talk about sandwiches
  • They talk more enthusiastically about sandwiches than video games.
  • "America's bacon fetishism has gone too far," says Ian.
    • "No it hasn't," counters Pat.

They've repeatedly mocked/derided the idea of a "gamer" and said that anyone who tries is gatekeeping. Real gamers are people like Brad Jones and Ryan Mitchele. They're terrible movie creators, but they can have a reasonable discussion about games without sounding like assholes. Brad's played Mario Odyssey and games as much as Pat. Ryan's a PC gamer, owns an Xbox One, and is getting a Switch for his kid.

What's Pat accomplished? He has no family. His first job is creating a podcast where he makes hot takes to Kotaku articles. His second job is to manage the writing of books for game consoles he never really played or appreciated. To top it off, he's not even writing a signification portion of the reviews anymore. He even consults on projects as an expert when he doesn't keep up with the gaming market.

Meanwhile, Ian's probably jaded from working at a dead-end store clerk job for the past ten years. He's never going to get that kitchen island unless he moves out of state.

In short, both or their careers are dead in the water. Gaming needs gatekeeping to keep hacks like Pat and Ian out of it.