Pat the NES Cunt

[MrPopperBanks]

I hope the TurboGrafx 16 Mini crashes game prices for that console when it comes out. I just like to see Pat bitch and moan about things like that because he obviously treats video games like the stock market.

I also want a bunch of NWC carts to show up just because all of the salt that would come out of the retro community. Video games are meant to be played, not sit in a safety deposit box like Pats do.

Wanna bet Pat bitched to Hudson Entertainment that the TG16 phone app was hurting the collector market?

[da PAC Nigguh]

Haven't seen much change in the price of games myself. I'm paying the same amount for ROMs today as I was back in 1999.

SpoilerShow

lol collectorfags

[Kugelfisch]

with smooth screen scrolling, which home computer games simply did not do for years after

The IBM PC had problems with that, not home computers in general.

[BobbyBoucher]

Fell behind again. This update should close out Pat "Republicans Murdered Koalas" Contri's 2019 escapades.

Highlights include:

• Pat admits he wants to sell half his collection before prices collapse.
• Ian "reviews" the Witcher Netflix series without having played the games, read the books, or seen the entire series (only 3 episodes in).
• Pat blames the US/Republican Party for Australian fires. Compares them to the Whig Party for some reason. (I think he meant slave-owners. The Whigs wanted to industrialize via infrastructure projects.)
• Pat blames alogithims for lack of viewes when other retrofags have healthy channels (MetalJesusCucks, LGR, Rerez, BeatEmUps). Says algorithm prefers constant updates. (JonTron and RLM disagree.)
• Pat suspects other YouTubers ghosted him because he had lower viewership than them. (Not because they are busy or because Pat is a terrible person.)
• Pat spends two hours at the gym every day.

mega summary:

• Pat says the new Watchmen series is smartly written.
• For Thanksgiving, Pat went over to his handyman's place (or whatever his plans were).
  • It was full of old people in their 70s and 80s.
  • He tried to explain what he did for a living.
    • Their eyes glazed over.
  • There was a woman near his age.
    • He thought it might be a setup, but she was there for her mother.
  • (Christ, Pat needs to get married. He could then have a family to spend Thanksgiving with.)
• On Christmas, Pat finished latest Punk episode two hours before flight to his parents.
  • Group texted his family he'd be there in the morning.
  • Flew out to Pennsylvania.
  • Outside his parents house at 6 AM ringing the doorbell to get their attention.
    • Pat says his father never checked the text.
      • (That's on you pat. When sending texts, you should make sure you get confirmation.)
• best of cu podcast for decade:
  • Make fun of Star Trek Beyond trailer. (Best of the new ones, I'd say.)
  • Pat says the original SMB2 (Lost Levels) was an awful game.
    • It came out for the FDS with a save system. The Japanese commercials promoted the difficulty. Pat's a baby.
  • James Rolfe Ghostbusters incident.
    • Pat singles out Devin Faraci.
    • Says James' argument has merit because he is "an obvious fan".
  • ian stalker story
  • kaney west turbografx
    • pat says he's not a poser in geek culture
  • christmas memories
    • pat complains about his parent's spending limit.
    • pat never owned a Game Boy (He's trying to write a guidebook for it.)
      • He got Tiger LCD games instead.
    • Ian hasn't seen a Harry Potter movie or read books.
      • Got called "Harry Potter" by a homeless drug addict.
  • pauly d from jersey shore
    • They start complaining about geek/gamer stereotypes from big bang theory.
      • Pat says you don't need to be anti-sports or a math major to enjoy video games.
      • They say it's a stereotype that a gamer is a a virgin geek loser.
    • Pat then goes into his rant how Jersey Shore made Fredoes like him look bad. (Fredoes Rise Up)
  • Batman v Superman Trailer
    • They complain about a movie meant for children.
  • Gamestop retro program
    • Pat calls people assholes for making Little Samson repros.
    • (I know they've supported repros before, so I think they're just hypocrites.)
  • jimmy kimmel YouTube gaming
    • Boomer Pat still watches late night talk shows.
    • Pat and Ian think the reactions of a small mob somehow represent all gamers.
    • They say real sports fans don't react this way. (No, they get violent.)
    • Pat then shit-talks Conan for doing gaming videos.
      • Essentially engages in gatekeeping and calls Conan a fake gamer. (At this point, Conan's played more modern games than Pat.)
      • The man who wrote for The Simpsons at its height is a lot funnier than Pat's YouTube videos.
    • Pat praises Kimmel for not pretending to be a gamer.
• During Pat's Lion King stream, he uses a Switch Pro Controller.
  • He complains about the controls.
    • Thing is he uses the direction pad which is probably awkward and inaccurate.
    • Alternatively he used the analog stick, which will be too loose.
    • Either way, Pat fucked up.
  • He also ate M&Ms that fell on the floor, like an animal.
  • Pat claims he doesn't play any games because he did them for the guidebook.
    • (Only 80 for the SNES one. And he could've streamed them all to build streamer credibility.)
      • And playing retro games won't help him when his podcast is increasingly talking about modern games.
  • "How many YouTubers do you know writing books? None." says Pat
    • (Yahtzee. Stuart Ashen.)
  • Pat thinks it got dark quickly in San Diego because he's in the Southern Hemisphere.
  • Pat eventually told Ian he thinks Lion King is too difficult for children.
    • (That's why cheat codes exist.)
• stadia pre-launch
  • Pat is apparently paying for Cox gigabyte internet service, but he has a terabyte cap.
    • Before he talked about AT&T with a 9 TB cap. (I assumed he had this, but apparently not?)
    • Besides that, AT&T fiber is actually cheaper than Cox.
    • It's possible Pat is using AT&T for a landline and Cox for internet.
      • It makes no god-damned sense since cable companies can provide phone service.
      • And there's no benefit from an AT&T landline when they replaced everything with fiber.
      • If this is true, Pat is the Boomer Emperor.
• fortnite cheating scandal
  • pat and ian get assmad at Ninja for saying the guy should be reinstated
    • They say it's classes one-percenter bullshit and he should be banned for life.
      • (The cheating didn't occur at an official tourney, so I don't know what they are complaining about.)
  • Pat ends the segment saying YouTubers have no ethics/morality. And that they are able to come back from scandals.
    • (It's not ethical to advertise shitcoin like Pat does.)
• China limits minors' access to games.
  • Pat puts on his libertarian cap and says it's the parents' responsbility.
    • (The games are accessible 24/7.)
      • Pat doesn't think it's possible to block access, but it is.
      • Block at netcafes, or have all games/apps call home to a server that checks time.
• Pat is considering investing in a barcade.
  • (He's also one to keep complaining about not being paid for Video Game Years.)
    • And if he bought a cheaper house 20-30 minutes away, he'd have extra money for investments.
• q&a writing your own video game book
  • pat says the final form of the NES guidebook changed.
    • It apparently started only with brief descriptions, not full reviews.
  • pat says to pay your contributors. Harps on about it.
    • (Must still be pissed about Mike Kennedy and/or Video Game Years.)
• q&a on N64 they ignore
  • Ian says they just hate collecting for the N64.
    • (Reminder, Pat considered writing an N64 guidebook.)
• Pat was once contacted by the creators of "The Toys That Made Us" for an NES episode.
  • He thought it was "cumbersome" to link games to toys, so didn't do it.
    • Cumbersome in that it might open a pandora's box of only video game-dedicated episodes.
      • (Big mistake Pat. He should always seek to self-promote himself.)
        • Just do one episode on the history of the NES and some of the popular games.
        • It's a nostalgia show so it doesn't need to go too in-depth. Just member berries.
        • There could easily be one on Game Boy and other handhelds. SEGA could get one.
• Pokemon Sword & Shield
  • Ian says it's a perfectly fine game.
  • They complain about the people complaining about the game.
  • "You just want to be a dick," Ian says to people who warn against buying it.
  • Pat says these are 40 year-old kids who are too attached.
    • (Strange, coming from Pat "I want to display my GI Joe Collection" Contri.)
      • There are entire industries built on appealing to that demographic.
  • "If that's the one thing you're bitching about, you probably have a good life," says Pat.
  • Pat says to ask a waitress at diner to see if it's a real problem.
    • (Maybe she's a big Gen 1 fan.)
  • "Watch the credits and single out the person who was lazy," says Ian.
    • (The director and producers.)
• YouTube COPPA compliance
  • Pat says he's unaffected because he doesn't do videos for children.
    • (Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.)
      • He does retro video games and podcast topics on Marvel movies.
      • He's going to get hit. The system is automated. It'll use statistical association of keywords.
        • Nintendo = kids, Marvel = kids.
  • (Recently YouTube flagged all animated videos regardless of content.)
    • That's how accurate their system is.
    • Harry Partridge got hit.
• Ian lost his health insurance in August.
  • He's been forced to go to Walmart for prescriptions.
  • Pat calls for a public option.
• Pat says Half-Life 3 isn't being made because the return on investment isn't as good as Steam.
  • (That's dumb. They probably are more nervous about making it good.)
    • This is the company that officially supports Steam Link on Raspberry Pi.
    • They supported VR headset openness rather than locking games to one store/headset.
• q&a does playing games make you feel old
  • Ian says anniversary announcements do.
    • Pat complaints that only anniversaries in five or zero should be reported.
      • Complains about "member this" Twitter accounts doing it yearly.
      • (He's one to talk. The podcast covered the Game Boy anniversary for both Japan and North America.)
• NES Guidebook app update
  • Anyone with data is going to lose it.
  • It was stored locally and not in a cloud.
  • The app was never future-proofed.
• Riot games lawsuit
  • Pat wonders how they could run a "bro culture" thinking that video games are different.
    • (The most likely explanation is that the women asked for less pay.)
      • Beyond that, women do work less than men, in all industries.
      • I do wonder if men will start identifying as women to get the settlement.
  • pat finds it strange that still happens, maybe he's odd or something.
  • "Good reporting by Cecilia [from Kotaku]," says Pat.
  • (Reminder that pat made some video that nearly got him fired.)
• Even more Atari VCS!
  • Ian says System-on-a-Chip means it's off the shelf.
    • (No. A SoC these days is CPU + GPU.)
      • That's every console. PS4/Xbone use AMD SoCs (APUs).
      • Nintendo Switch uses a Tegra SoC.
      • Most laptops/desktops you buy from manufacturers are SoCs.
      • The only real customization is the form factor (case/handheld) and controllers.
      • Circuit boards might get security/encryption chips to prevent piracy.
      • It's almost like Pat and Ian don't now what they're talking about.
  • Pat reports that "other people" call a chip change a bulllshit reason for a delay.
    • (It may or may not be. I don't know the supply status of Ryzen embedded.)
      • It may have been to buy time, or it is simply because Ryzen is better than AMD's old crap.
  • ian says v1000 used by hobbyists to build computers
    • (Don't think it's available to public. Athlon more appropriate.)
      • A few people use embedded CPUs for home computers, but most are in industrial/commercial uses.
      • Or small form factor PCs like NUCs. The VCS is effectively one.
    • Ian says it costs $150 (with a board and RAM maybe).
    • Ian at least admits he doesn't know a lot about them.
  • Pat says it's dumb it's advertised as making your own games.
  • Pat mentions Jim Cramer not seeing 2008 crash.
    • (Pat "Always Trust Experts" Contri)
• toys r us
  • Ian is incredible upset at the use of seasonal stores to prey on nostalgia.
    • Pat says he must worship brands because he owns an iPhone.
      • Ian says Vonnie bought it for him for Christmas.
        • (Jesus, he lost health insurance but has an iPhone?)
          • Consoomer Ian.
• n64 sales increase
  • Articles states sales up 205% year over year.
  • Pat says this is a four times increase.
    • (It's triple. Pat can't math.)
• combat vid with AVGN
  • Pat says it would need to make a million views to be worth it.
    • (It's at 116k.)
• polymega update
  • they are inexplicably more positive toward this than the Atari VCS.
    • The specs of this system keep changing:
      • It was first supposed to FPGA.
      • Then it became Intel with 4 GB of RAM and 16 GB of storage.
      • Then it became Intel with 2 GB of RAM and 32 GB of storage.
    • Plus the wireless controllers they sell for $40 were $20 on Amazon and other places.
      • https://matricom.net/product/xyba/ (http://archive.is/8JM2r)
  • Apparently the magic words "CD-ROM drive" convinces them a product is good.
    • It was the same with the IndieGo scam console.
    • Maybe they think people are too dumb to load ISOs?
• Amico controllers
  • "I'm being as kind as possible to my pal tommy," says Pat.
    • "People think we now have a vendetta"
    • "The Amico website updated and no longer looks like a GeoCities page," says Pat.
    • "You've fallen for a pitchman."
    • Pat then proceeds to read sarcastic YouTube comments.
  • Pat says this whole thing is to get money from wholesalers like Target.
    • (But, Pat, many of those stores have return clauses for unsold inventory. So he won't make money off of that.)
  • He also says these games won't sell on the Switch by themselves.
    • (Perhaps the target market doesn't own or use a Switch.)
      • A lot of these retro consoles work better as stocking stuffers. Things people buy when you aren't sure what to buy.
      • Of course, there are Game Boy clones that work better for that.
• Dr. Disrespect tv show
  • Ian says a Tom Green-style show would work better.
  • Pat says the Twitch audience without credit cards is not the same as the Amazon Video audience.
    • (Except Amazon Prime gives benefits to both. If their parents have Prime, they can get the series.)
  • Pat gets really upset that Ninja made fun of someone missing a field goal.
    • Pat: "I'm tired of professional athletics being disrespected by people that play video games."
      • (Only Boomers watch sports.)
• q&a are expert reviewers/critics still needed.
  • Pat says Rotten Tomatoes aggregate is failry accurate.
    • Says he doesn't want to waste his time at the movies.
      • (Boomer Pat still goes to movies.)
  • Both says professional critics can bring a certain expertise by having a ton of media knowledge.
    • (The average Kotaku/Polygon critic certainly doesn't.)
      • Throw Pat in with them. His expertise is on NES collecting, not modern games.
  • Pat then talks about people not trusting experts on legal issues or climate change.
    • (Legal issues are constantly changing.)
      • Not just new laws, but the makeup of courts can decide what happens.
      • But this is Pat who was certain he knows how French-Cucknadian courts will handle video game cases.
    • (The issue with climate change is that the US would get the short end of the stick.)
      • The US obeys accords. China and other countries don't.
      • There will be no net change.
  • Ian goes on a tangent about people following diets based on "feeling".
    • (The only thing Vonnie needs to do is eat less.)
• Pat says the "Podcast sheriffs" do videos on them.
  • Pat says they do videos on him for clickbait.
  • Ian says some crticis (not YouTube) make threats against his wife Vonnie or something.
    • [Is he talking about DHI?]
  • "Eat my asshole," Pat says about YouTubers with insider info.
• not so common: Kevin Lieber and Matt Tabor
  • (They talk about YouTube careers. Pat comes off as stupid, arrogant, and narcissistic.)
  • Pat moved out to the West coast in part to be a screen writer.
    • Still has hopes of doing that. (Ha, ha, ha, ha.)
  • Pat started the Punk because YouTubers were reviewing old games they knew nothing about and lacked all context.
    • (Ironically, Pat now runs a Podcast where he does the same thing.)
  • Pat says videos at zenith 4-5 years. Slide two years ago.
    • (This is dumb because LGR, Metal Jesus Rocks, and others are successful.)
      • Pat can't admit that NES is dead, his career is dead, and people just don't like his personality, voice, or appearance.
      • Pat just blames the algorithm. Not his content
  • Pat says other channels are first to report news, they aren't better at it then he or Ian.
    • (There are channels like RLM that put out quality content slowly and are successful.)
      • JonTron is fairly slow as well. He had a gap for months.
      • Pat's just bad at it.
      • JonTron had his own charity marathon. He raised $50k in 5 hours versus Pat's $10k in 24 hours.
        • JonTron's about 24 times more productive than pat.
        • Conincidentally, he has about 24 times the subscriber base.
    • Pat also says he and Ian would have to be attached at the hip to get out videos that quickly.
  • Pat says he's very busy, but spends two hours at the gym every day.
    • (Jesus, make a home gym or exercise less. He's fat anyway.)
  • They're opinionated because it's a podcast.
    • Pat says people make YouTube videos against them to appease their incel audience.
    • Pat says he asked Colin Moriarty how he lets people complaining affect him. Pat thinks it doesn't matter.
      • (Cancel culture Pat. Colin got fired. It wasn't just "complaints".)
    • People go after them for insulting anime or Dead or Alive.
      • (Reminder: Pat admitted to playing hentai games. "I don't understand" is complete bullshit.)
    • People who comment on YouTube aren't the ones who watch his video or listen to the podcast.
      • Says people at the conventions are.
    • He'll only takes complaints seriously if he gets it on the street.
      • (He's set an artificial barrier to criticism: it has to be in-person.)
        • He didn't go to Blizzcon and heckle the crowd, did he?
        • He's criticized Angry Joe before.
        • He's criticized Miscarriage of Acchild.
    • Pat says he's friends with people who have different political opinions than him.
      • (On the last NES Marathon, they all appeared to be shitlibs. Alex guy praised that AOC woman.)
  • Pat says he knows Diablo Immortal was bullshit because he lost no patrons and no podcast listeners.
    • He says reactionary YouTubers jumped down on him for claiming a mobile game was not the end of the world.
  • Pat says people with jobs and families don't post angry reviews on YouTube and such.
  • Pat says he's glad he's made his enemies.
    • Would be concerned if his enemies were people like his friends.
    • "I'm bringing balance."
  • Pat says you can judge a person by who they're friends with.
    • (Pat's arch-enemy Guru Larry is friends with Stuart Ashen, the most competent of Pat's generation of Internet Creators.)
  • Pat says he was ghosted by three big YouTubers.
    • (Pat thinks this is due them getting larger subscriber counts, but it's most likely just that successful people are busy.)
    • Eventually, various people would only reluctantly greet Pat when they were at the same con or whatever.
    • Pat suggests some reluctantly agreed to do collabs, but he then told them to fuck off.
      • Says others don't ask him for help since he doesn't have the views for it.
  • Pat ends the episode sarcastically telling people to call him a "cuck".
    • (No, no. He's a coal burner.)
• Xbox Series X announced.
  • They say the Xbox line will update every two years now. (3-4 years more likely)
  • Ian hates the name because there's already Xbox confusion at his store.
  • "These have been computers for the last 10 years, says Pat.
    • (If consoles are computers now, why is Pat upset the VCS is a computer?)
  • Pat says there were 3 Xbox models in 5 years, so one every 1.5 years.
    • (I think he's trying to imply his 2-year upgrade cycle is accurate.)
      • He's still wrong. It was 4 years between Xbone and Xbone X.
      • Xbone S doesn't count since it's a slim/cost-reduced verson.
  • Pat says "if Ian is still working at Luna in 20 years, they'll have to deal with all these Xbox consoles"
• q&a why are fandoms so toxic now
  • They say social media is causing it.
  • Pat says a small group can start to think they are the majority.
  • ian says now think they own what they consume
    • (Eventually the copyright expires and technically everyone owns it.)
      • Media is an idea, not physical ownership, Ian.
      • Once that idea is put into world, it becomes the property of society.
  • Pat used to go on a Watchmen forum to complain about movie before it came out.
  • Pat says in the past you just didn't like something and voted with your wallet.
    • "Now you have to explain why."
      • (Like Siskel and Ebert, who routinely trashed movies, even for dumb reasons.)
  • They say this only happens because people use computers.
    • This wouldn't happen in person in fan clubs, he says.
      • (For a guy with a sociology degree, but has no understanding of human behavior.)
        • Groups of male friends would complain, curse about movies and other things, in my experience.
      • (Pat wouldn't shit-talk people in person, either.)
    • Pat mocks his opponents saying moderators would be "censoring them".
      • (The podcaster cries out as he strikes you.)
• Height of podcast was minute or two topics in two hour podcasts, says Pat.
  • (Retro gaming was move popular then.)
• Rise of Skywalker talk
  • Pat did separate review.
  • pat heard from a friend Rise of Skywalker was heavily edited and cut down.
    • (Friend might be that Yoshi Vu guy who works on Star Wars CGI in movies.)
  • Pat complains series is a mess, but liked The Force Awakens.
  • Pat then complains about Mandalorian
    • Hasn't seen it, but heard of Baby Yoda. Wanted it to be gritty and "adult".
    • He then heard about lightsaber at end and complains about that. Says he doesn't want to watch it now.
      • pat's never heard of dark saber (non-Jedi Mandalorians have wielded it)
  • They also complain about the limited topics/universe of Star Wars (aping Red Letter Media).
    • "You grew up smart Pat and Star Wars grew up dumb," says Ian.
    • (They never played the KOTOR games, obviously.)
    • (They also consoome the fuck out of MCU/comic book stories which are recycled to death.)
  • Vonnie loves clone wars tv series, says Ian. (Dark saber is in that.)
  • Ian hasn't seen Solo.
• Pat talks about Australian forest fires.
  • Blames the US and a certain political party for global warming.
    • "Like the Whigs from the 1800s."
    • (From Wikipedia: "The Whigs celebrated Clay's vision of the American System, which promoted rapid economic and industrial growth in the United States through support for a national bank, high tariffs, a distribution policy, and federal funding for infrastructure projects.")
      • Seems reasonable. I had to double check because my memory didn't bring to mind anything radical about the Whigs.
      • Maybe he meant the slave-holding Democrats that caused the Civil War? Is he one of those people who can't mention that?
  • (Does pat heat and cool his entire house or just the room's he's in?)
    • I'm guessing his entire house since he needs to make sure heat/cold doesn't affect his game collection.
    • So Pat alone is massively contributing to global warming.
    • Why'd Pat choose to live in a city that requires a car?
      • He should've moved to someplace with better public transportation.
  • Ending the podcast, Pat asks "where are the flying cars?"
    • Then adds "finding homes for the koalas is probably more important".
• 10th marathon in march/april might be the last one
  • • (Last one brought in half the money of the previous.)
• Pat's 2020 goal/resolution is to sell off half his collection before prices plummet in 3-5 years.
  • (He really said this. You're damn right he's been flipping or trading doubles to build his collection.)
  • Barcade might happen in late 2020 and he needs money for it.
  • At Pax East, Teamsters charged Pat $1200 to move his books 100 feet.
  • Pat invested in a Kickstarter that hasn't launched yet.
    • (How does that work? He said "invested" as in he will profit somehow.)
  • Might be involved in a pinball documentary.
  • Wants to write fiction again.
• Ian saw Witcher TV series
  • Henry Cavill wore through his costume, says Ian.
  • Neither Pat nor Ian have read any of the books or played any of the games, though Ian down own Witcher 3.
  • Ian says it's based on the books and games.
    • (Books only. They don't have rights to the games.)
  • Ian says the show has a definite Game of Thrones influence because a bunch of people die in the first few episodes.
    • (The book series was finished 20 years ago. And it started before the A Song of Ice and Fire books.)
  • Ian says it looked better than the Mandalorian, which looked kind of cheap. (Mandalorian had a $120 million budget.)

[mad bum]

[*]Pat's 2020 goal/resolution is to sell off half his collection before prices plummet in 3-5 years.

Pat "It's just a hobby bro" Contri showing how much of a snake he really is. Collecting is absolutely fucked now though because all the rich comic book people are buying sealed graded shit and becoming the new suckers.

[Guest]

.
[/list][/list] [*]"How many YouTubers do you know writing books? None." says Pat

• (Yahtzee. Stuart Ashen.)

Onision.

[Salmonella]

His true colors were obvious to anyone who actually pays attention. He doesn't actually play video games, his podcast has always focused on the collecting side of things. He can claim he isn't a "scumbag reseller" all he wants but actions speak louder than words.

[oldbones]

.
[/list][/list] [*]"How many YouTubers do you know writing books? None." says Pat

• (Yahtzee. Stuart Ashen.)

Onision.

And how about our own greasy haired butterball Guru "farms out work to another fat englishman" Larry?

[Keith Chegwin]

Pat says the new Watchmen series is smartly written.

lol what a faggot

Ian says the show has a definite Game of Thrones influence because a bunch of people die in the first few episodes.
(The book series was finished 20 years ago. And it started before the A Song of Ice and Fire books.)

He's not entirely wrong, though. Yeah the book series has been around long before A Game of Thrones and the books are nothing like Martin's, but the TV series was clearly made to cash in on the Game of Thrones craze and is stylistically much more like Game of Thrones than The Witcher people are used to seeing from the games.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

You have to deal with it. Game of Thrones has become the new industry standard for "mature" ""fantasy"" """epics""".