Pat the NES Cunt

[mad bum]

He's said a ton of stupid shit before, it's almost expected from him.

[BobbyBoucher]

It's been a while, so time for a Pat digest:

• cu podcast 135:
  • pat says new SNES book is necessary to help pay for his house:
    • Maybe he should shift to a SNES marathon instead to promote it, but pat isn't that smart.
  • during mega man segment, they make a joke about a Fratboy Megaman, then make reference to Kavanaugh and people reacting negatively.
  • pat cheaps out and buys his phone case from china
  • Ian calls sovereign citizens crazy for thinking the law applies to them.
    • He's married to a hispanic woman whose family apparently freaked out when trump won the election.
  • On the Symphony of the Night retranslation, Boomers Pat and Ian lose their spaghetti about meme culture. They aren't quite sure why younger gamers like the Symphony of the Night memes and resent their "how do you do, fellow kids" podcast. I'm afraid they're not gonna make it.
• not so common with alex faciane:
  • pat complains about housing prices
    • Pat's wrong about home prices in NJ. They are more expensive than Texas, sure, but far cheaper than california.
    • His talk about buying two houses in Texas is dumb, because he could easily buy two houses at $400k a pop given his current house is $1.2 million.
  • For the third or fourth time he brings up that woman who complained about California.
    • This seems to be a problem with Pat. He's forming all his opinion on a limited data set.
  • pat used the word "shekels"
  • Answering machine again. Even Alex brought up the oddity of it.
  • Alex and Pat shit on their fellow YouTubers and Twitch streamers because it's not much of a career. They're right, but Pat isn't one to talk. He might succeed with the SNES guidebook, but then what? The retro market will move into the PS1 or PS2 era, which he isn't familiar with.
    • GameCube/N64 won't work either, he apparently was a late '90s PC gamer, then went to retro game collecting after that.
    • He claims these books allow him to keep his house, so what the fuck is going to do after this?
  • Pat lost his copy of the 2017 NES marathon.
    • Fortunately, I still have my copy. He's not getting it.
    • pat lost a previous one years ago as well, and had to beg his fans for a copy
• cupodcast 136:
  • pat is missing super air zonk for his Turbo collection
  • Ian opposes homeschooling due to lack of social interaction.
  • pat gives his chances of having a child at 10%
  • Pat and Ian mock older people doing their high school jobs.
    • Ian likely has a bunch of illegal in-laws who do the same thing.
    • Ian himself is a clerk-monkey at a game store.
  • Ian has played the Fallout series (which is better than Pat, who only plays modern Nintendo games).
  • pat says gamers are entitled due to the availability of emulators
• not so common halloween 2018
  • pat said his parents had cable and two cars, but not enough money to go to disneyworld
    • his parents are clearly liars.
  • pat and his sister both saw "ghosts"
    • both probably have inherited mental problems
    • Pat "I fucking love science" Contri believes in ghosts.
  • pat's a 5'10" manlet
  • He apparently gives money to the San Deigo Zoo (he's loaded).
    • Here or in the last Not So Common, he repeated that "60% of animals have died" story. That was wrong. The average reduction in animal population size was 60%. He just repeats idiotic news stories.
  • Right at the end brings up the election and that Trump wants to use an Executive Order to end birthright citizenship. Pat thinks this isn't constitutional.
    • Which he has the power to do, since the 14th amendment was only meant to help slaves.
    • The guy who wrote the amendment said that illegal aliens wouldn't get citizenship. The Supreme Court uses testimony/notes from authors in their determinations.
    • And Trump's got enough of the Supreme to get a reasonable interpretation of his policy (if not now, then when Ginsburg croaks).
  • Pat's angry at China for ending an endangered animal ban for Chinese medicine.
• Not So Common #49
  • pat is sad there were few children on Halloween in his neighborhood with vastly overpriced housing
  • On the midterms: Democrats did extremely well.
    • "orange thing annoyed voters"
    • Pat is unaware that that losing the House/Congress is common in the first term of a President (Reagan, Clinton, Obama).
    • Democrats had hemorrhaged seats for years.
    • I bet Pat won't be pleased when Trump gets 5 Supreme Court appointments.
    • Trump will probably win re-election.
  • Pat says he was wearing shorts weather in 2008. (third or fourth time he brought this up)
  • Pat Nerd Crews on Stan Lees death and mostly talks about the progressive things he put into comics.
  • pat doesn't understand the hatsune miku and the otaku culture
  • pat criticize's trumps statement on california fire
    • even though Trump was correct about poor forest management?
  • Pat says he and Ian are going to address Diablo Immortal again on the next CU Podcast due to the negative response he received.
• cupodcast 137 (a.k.a. Pat and Ian finally betray gamers):
  • Pat and Ian defend blizzard:
    • Ian says 12 years isn't a bad amount of time to wait for a game sequel
    • Pat & Ian think the complainers are babies since another Diablo is coming.
      • Blizzard did not announce any other Diablo projects at the con, so how were the detractors to know? Make a video or something. (see Fallout Shelter and Fallout 4, Skyrim Blade and Skyrim 6)
    • Outsourcing the game development "frees up resources".
    • The mobile game "raises awareness" of the property.
    • quote and agree with autism walker (the waypoint guy, not Doge)
    • Say mobile market is larger in Asia, so that justifies betraying the design of Diablo.
      • Korea and China also have a large number of PC players. Blizzard runs/sponsors tournaments over there.
    • Shit talk the "April fools joke" guy.
      • Says people who paid $200 and travel/hotel costs a bunch of babies. They should be thanking Blizzard for making these franchises.
      • People asked if it would be on PC and got the "you've got phones, right" response.
        • So there was some interest, but evaporated when it wasn't met.
  • During PlayStation Classic, Pat again mentions he isn't familiar with the console's library.
  • Pat talks about the saudi assassination becaus "muh wrestlin'"
  • Pat called on people to vote for decency during the midterms.
  tl;dr: Pat and Ian have fucking lost it. Pat runs a gaming podcast, but doesn't play any new games outside Nintendo (hell, Brad Jones played Red Dead Redemption 2 and he's an 80s addict). After this SNES book, Pat will have nothing to fall back on and become a games journalist. Ian will likely join him once his clerk gig is up.
  
  He's slowly turning into Pat the NPC Punk:
  

[Kugelfisch]

Pat and Ian mock older people doing their high school jobs.

>Ian does what is a schoolboy's summer job
>Pat talks about nintendy gaems on youtube

constanza batting.jpg (119.4 KiB) Viewed 965 times

[MegaNigger]

The big quake cannot come fast enough

[oldbones]

Pat and Ian mock older people doing their high school jobs.

>Ian does what is a schoolboy's summer job
>Pat talks about nintendy gaems on youtube
constanza batting.jpg

Oh no. Pat is so much more. He is a writer and author. Yes the book contains 100% opinion. Yes there are no facts or sources cited. Yes it's supremely ugly and unnecessarily massive. Yes the book is basically one step up from a pop-up book and solely contains shitty subjective reviews of hundreds of 30+ year old games he's played for an average of 5 minutes but he's still an author.

You know I and everyone else would love to see spoony evicted but it would be even funnier if pat gets foreclosed on first because he can't keep the cashola coming in after his next masterpiece book comes out. Sure he could have bought a modest home in a decent neighborhood for $500K (or a mansion in almost any other state) but no he needed his million dollar home in some exclusive rich suburb.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

So he basically has all the info he needs to know that his ass his grass after the SNES book, but he has yet to connect the dots. MMMMMH...

pat doesn't understand the hatsune miku and the otaku culture

[Kugelfisch]

Oh no. Pat is so much more. He is a writer and author.

Are you talking about the book that Roo wrote and Pat stamped his name on? I still marvel that people bought that shit.

[mad bum]

Never stop doing these Bobby boss.

Pat lost his copy of the 2017 NES marathon.
Fortunately, I still have my copy. He's not getting it.

Alex and Pat shit on their fellow YouTubers and Twitch streamers because it's not much of a career. They're right, but Pat isn't one to talk

I think I still have it on a hard drive somewhere because I was going to actually watch it (lol) but realized I had better things to do, I remember shitposting on his marathon that year saying that youtube isn't a year job and they saw it and starting going spaz about it.

pat complains about housing prices

No shit he's complaining, dude bought in during some of the highest prices for a home there. I still can't believe he paid over a mil for that place just because of the location when he doesn't need location for work or school or anything.

pat says new SNES book is necessary to help pay for his house

I still can't believe books can make you that much money in current year, no wonder every washed out celebrity has a biography written for them.

Pat says he was wearing shorts weather in 2008. (third or fourth time he brought this up)

If this is about global warming then he can fuck right off, we're currently having snow in the north east about a month earlier than usual with a late spring, and we didn't even have a real Autumn here, I also remember trick or treating when I was younger in foot high snow, weather is unpredictable and global warming is something we will never see in our life times or the next gen's life.

[Liar Revealed]

[*]Pat lost his copy of the 2017 NES marathon.

• Fortunately, I still have my copy. He's not getting it.

You should make the greaseball pay through the nose for it. It's exactly what he does to others.

[mad bum]

I have someone's avatar if they want it, otherwise I might take it.