Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis/Hotdog girl

Whine and Bitch about people long after they become interesting to talk about
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Re: Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis/Hotdog girl

Post by pibbs » Sat Aug 01, 2020 3:08 am

Axiom's End by HotDog Girl
Chapter 20: Star Whirs: The Woke Awokens
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
protected by Fair Use, bitch

Damn. Another long chapter.
& mopes around with the retard herd. He's pissy, only sometimes taking a question or two, before telling Dr. Sev (the only ROSA he'll let near him) to fuck off. I'm surprised & isn't wearing a leather jacket and smoking a Marlboro.
Ampersand gave unhelpful, minimalist answers if he answered at all and tended to lose his patience quickly, telling Cora to remove them and herself from the room, and that was when he was feeling generous.
Sigh. Seems there's a division in the herd. Slightly more than half side with & and the other with another alpha named Esperas. Over what? I don't know. Team Esperas won't engage with Cora. Boo hoo.
Ampersand allowed that one unique trait of the Fremda group was that they seemed to specialize in the arts or sciences, at least as a human might conceive it. No grunts, no peons, no worker bees—all seemed born (well, “born”) and bred thinkers.
Uh huh.

Cora deduces that when & uses the word “phyle” to describe the herd, it's actually Greek for “clan” or “tribe”. Was that in his algorithm? Why wouldn't he just say “tribe”? Why complicate things? Damn, this is stupid.

Fuuuucckkk. Now page after page of this kind of stupid etymology and translation between hooomans, and the albino dragon-raptors. Look, if ANY of this shit comes into play, I'll explain it, but I'm not about to waste y'alls time with this tripe. Basically, two types of dragon speak, the guttural noises and the psychic, ok?

But poor & had his psychic link removed by slavers.

Read that again without cringing, if you can.
Who removed his telepathy? “Slavers. Similars. Militarists.” What did they do to him? “Exploitation. Slavery. Torture.” How did he escape? “By chance.” He refused to elaborate on any of these points, as knowing the details would not aid any human in their current objectives.
What? Why? That's a much more interesting story than this horseshit. It actually sounds like something happens. Why couldn't she had written that tale?

Ok. I get it. This is the part of the story where we humanize the dragon-raptor and start developing fee-fees for it. The Bronte-esque prose that Lindsay is trying but failing to emulate, right? (I've never read anyhting by the Brontes but they're women, and it's going to be filled with introspection and emotional exploration, right? Don't care)

I'm pausing here, and going to go get some rum and Coke.

*sips Ahhhh! That's good stuff. I will now do this review while increasingly becoming drunk. I feel Lindsay would approve as she wrote while drunk.
Now where the hell was I? Oh yeah, this shit.

Ope! There's a third language amongst the aliens.
There was a third language in their repertoire—Ampersand called it “high language,” but owing to its intimate nature, this one was not being employed by any of the Fremda group at this time. When Cora asked him what made “high language” different from the other two, he responded that it was “irrelevant to humans.” A human could neither comprehend it, nor engage in it, and therefore, it was a waste of time to try to explain it.
Goddamit, Lindsay! Then why bring it up?
& tells Cora to fuck off.

Special Agent Flannel wants Cora to get James “&” Dean to talk to more people. Like the Defense department, but broody brood & ain't hip to that. Agent Flannel presses Cora to find out why they're really here. Why are they sticking around?
Cora says she thinks & and Eperas need to sissy fight something out. Flannel wags his finger and warns, she had better find out what.

Insert vapid cunt inner monologue.
...she was really, really fucking sick of people underestimating her.
Well I for one won't around my pancakes, I can tell you that!
She grabbed a Nutri-Grain bar from the café, a notepad from an office, and a Harry Potter book from the little makeshift library.
Uh oh. Sorry Lindsay, between shipping this book off and the printing, JK has become a pariah. Ten lashes for you, transphobe!

Ok, the plan. To get info, she has to get on &'s good side, which means leaving him the hell alone. So she does the opposite because she's a woman and they never leave men alone. She parks her fat ass at the door reading her gay book, and “acting as a bouncer” telling people to fuck off when they come around wanting to ask questions.
For the most part, if she told people to fuck off on the part of their alien guests, they went with it without much protest.
See? Though it worries me a little Lindsay and I are now using the same wording.
Except Dr. Sev. He wants to know about “The Great Filter.”
Fuck. I'm going to have to explain this ain't I?
Read it here then,Show
“A question, a thought experiment about why intelligent life isn’t common in the universe. Statistically, if we exist, and they exist, and in terms of the greater galaxy we are not far apart at all, then intelligent life must not be that rare. Therefore, in the thirteen odd billion years of existence before now, the galaxy should have been colonized a hundred times over, or at least recognizably explored, but it hasn’t. Let’s say the Great Filter is a big philosophical question in astronomy. Either the filter is behind us and intelligence is astronomically rare, or it’s in front of us and advanced civilizations just don’t last that long. Ask him if they have an answer to this question.”
It didn’t take Cora long to decide that something about their Genome was the main point of disagreement between Ampersand and Esperas.
One wants to eat it, and the other wants to fuck it, right? Disgusting creatures.
Then she started doing something she’d been meaning to do for a little while: math.
Mike Stoklasa, “What?”
It had been Luciana who had explained to her the basics of Einstein’s theory of special relativity on the plane to Colorado Springs, using Ender’s Game, a book Cora had not read...
Oh fuck you, Lindsay! I can't take this shit. I read Ender's Game, I get what she's getting at, but you don't need the sequel (which where this is laid out) Speaker of the Dead, to explain relativity. ALSO Orson Scott Card is on the lib shit list because he opposed gay marriage! How is the woke crowd not burning her book at his point? Seriously, what the hell?! Fucking miserable stupid assed book!
“So if he’s telling the truth, that’s a 350-year age discrepancy,” said Luciana. “In lived time, he’s 350 years younger than he should be.”
Her mouth went dry, and she looked back up at Ampersand, who was now back to acting as though she were not in the room. If those numbers were right, Ampersand was “born” in A.D. 1045.
Short answer, she hadn't thought of it being a long time until she put a year on it. Derp! And we go and on with this pointless bullshit. Who cares?! You've got space raptors, Lindsay! DOOOOOO SOMETHING!!!

But here's why. Virtue signaling. This is why her book isn't getting burned. The old religious monsters of olde.
Putting a number to the year did further illuminate why Ampersand assumed humans would treat the Fremda group barbarously. She couldn’t imagine any alien civilization who had tripped across medieval Europe giving it a charitable interpretation. Still, it had been a while since AP European History, and she couldn’t remember what exactly was going on in the world in 1352. She didn’t have much, but fortunately the piddlin’ little makeshift library in the complex had an old 1980s hardcover edition of Encyclopædia Britannica.
The following morning, Cora returned to her post next to the door, now with a Nutri-Grain bar, her notepad, and four volumes of Encyclopædia Britannica: the Krasnokamsk-Menadra volume for medieval Europe, the Delusion-Frenssen volume for King Edward III and French history, the Number-Prague volume for Paris and House Plantagenet, and the Bayou-Ceanothus volume for the Black Death/
That's some piddlin' little library. BTW Wikipedia was around in 2007, and wifi. Why not use that? Also, the year the iPhone cane out. Stupid, author.

Here we go.
Renewed religious fervor and fanaticism bloomed in the wake of the Black Death. Some Europeans targeted groups such as Jews, foreigners, beggars, lepers, and Romani, thinking that they were to blame. Attacks on Jewish communities became commonplace. In February of 1349, the citizens of Strasbourg murdered half of their population of 2,000 Jews. In August of 1349, the Jewish communities in Mainz and Cologne were exterminated.
Guys, I'm seriously considering stopping this review. This woke, virtue-signaling is just too much.
Sigh. I''ll do it for DHI. Go, Dead Horses!
Remember the two curious raptors from before, Woodward and Bernstein? They want to know what she's reading. So Cora is going to take wokeness intergalactic. Enter Eaperas. He and & get into a non-physical tiff, and Cora fucks off down to the autopsy room, where Cefo's corpse, and the sack of egg is. She pets it, and describes the texture like a cat's tongue. Gross. Then Esperas nearly bitch chokes her, and she's told not to touch it.

We end the chapter with an article from daddeh. What did the president know and when did he know it? Fill in the blanks. Leftists talking points #35, circa Bush Era.
When did he know it? The following recording shows that he knew as early as 2004.
Your move, Dubya.
End of Chapter

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Re: Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis/Hotdog girl

Post by pibbs » Sat Aug 01, 2020 8:13 pm

Axiom's End by HotDog Girl
Chapter 21: Highlander: The Drunkening
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
protected by Fair Use, bitch

Well, no hangover today, so that's good. Always drink lots of water when you booze it, gentlemen.

Anyway, back to this future Pulitzer-nominated tripe.
Cora is spazzing about her faux pas petting the cat tongue sack-o-egg.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” said Cora, approaching her. “I’m so fucked.”

She bumps into Aunty, something is happening on the news. Cue Wolf Blitzer on CNN.A dozen airmen are gathered around the TV. Another 911? Are the aliens invading?
No. Daddeh leaked info the president knew there were aliens!
Dun dun duuuunnn!
This is by far the stupidest thing about this book. This non-controversy about daddeh leaking intel about aliens. So, what? Anyone see the recently released US Navy footage of the UFOs? What did Bush know and when did he know? Who the fuck cares? It's been a running gag in our culture that one of the many secrets a US president is privy to is aliens and UFOs. For 20 years, presidential candidates have gone on talk shows and been asked if they will release the secret alien files. Go find Obama joking about it with (I think) Jimmy Fallon on YouTube. And if in reality there were aliens, everyone kind of expects the President of the US of fucking A to already know AND to try to keep it secret. What did dubya know, and when did he know it? Ooooo! Intrigue! Ammiright, guys?
“Dodgson! Dodgson! We've got Dodgson over here! See? No one cares.”

If you are going to write a book about UFO and alien lore and conspiracies, you need to be acquainted with the already more than half-century ufology culture, and how most people would react to it these days. This isn't the 30's and War of the Worlds anymore. A huge percentage of people believe in aliens and actually want first contact. AND I'm not even saying anything that everybody doesn't already know! Lindsay's hinged the only drama and tension in this book on Cora's daddeh being the wikileaks of aliens, and the government's willingness to kill to keep it secret and IT DOES NOT WORK!!! Lindsay doesn't know the first thing she's writing about.
It felt like the blood had been sucked from her face, the air ripped out of her lungs. She all but stumbled back into the hallway, grabbing a handful of hair. Luciana followed suit, shutting the door behind them and grabbing two handfuls.
“What … what was it?” asked Cora.
Luciana shook her head. “It was like a phone call or something. From a few years ago. Proves not only that Bush knew but that he lied about knowing, and he lied in a sworn fucking deposition. Nils probably had his hands on this before he got the Fremda Memo. He was waiting for Bush to disavow knowledge before he dropped this.”
“Why?” Cora breathed, despite already knowing the answer.
Luciana laughed dryly. “Because he wanted to be the man who took Bush down.”
Lindsay fantasy wish-fulfillment.
Cora’s hair follicles were starting to tingle, and she let go of the handful of hair, slamming her back against the wall.
Um, ouch.

It was asked in the discussion if Cora even cared about her family, well we get a rare mention here.
There it went. There had been a chance they could still keep this under wraps. That had been the hope, the plan, until at the very, very least Cora and her family were free.
Not anymore.
Most news outlets believe this could end Bush's presidency. Fuck you.
Half of congress is calling for his resignation. Gee, I wonder which half?
“It wasn’t just a cable or an email. He got a recording. He got the idiot on tape.”
Oh no! This could be bigger than Watergate!!!
“Maybe it’ll mean the end of the war in Iraq…” She stopped, hearing how ridiculous her own words sounded even as she said them.
Again, fuck you.
Luciana shook her head mechanically, still staring at the wall. “It won’t. You know it won’t.”
Cora couldn’t help but laugh. Beheld from a distance, the situation was utterly absurd. “This is like Al Capone going down for a parking ticket.”

“Cutting and compelling!” - John Scalzi, Bestselling Author
“Smart but heartfelt, full of profound ideas delivered with a sense of humanity” - David Wong, Bestselling Author
“Wildly Entertaining.” - Caitlin Doughty, Bestselling Author
(From the book jacket)

Aunty on her brother.
He’s never been in my life! Never shown any interest in it. Nicest he ever was to me was for that few months in college when he wanted to fuck my best friend.”
Cora’s jaw dropped, and she stared at her aunt in disbelief. Luciana backed off right after she said it, realizing how below the belt that was to say.
“I’m sorry about the accident that is my existence,” said Cora.
?? That reaction is bizarre. Aunty didn't say she wished he never boinked Cora's mom, or imply that Cora never should have been born. No sane person would extract that meaning from what was just said. The hell? Did I just have a stroke?

Surprisingly, Cora shows concern for her family again.
“What do you think it means for Demi and Felix and Olive?” asked Cora, searching desperately for a silver lining. “Maybe they’ll just … drop this whole thing and let them go, now that there’s nothing to hide.”
“No,” Luciana said airily. “No, I think the opposite is more likely.”
“Because a cover-up is one thing—Demi and the kids are evidence of abuse of power. Worse, civilian evidence. Worse, children.”

Did Lindsay down an entire bottle of vodka writing this chapter? None of this follows any kind of reason or logic.
Cora jolted when a knock on the metal door echoed throughout the giant room of her bunk. “Come in?”
The door opened, and Vincent Park peeked inside.
Who? Fuck I forgot who this is.
I had to go back three chpaters.
Vincent Park, a junior CIA agent whom she recognized as the other man who had been spying on her with Kaplan the morning of the Obelus Event, roughly three eternities ago.
The only time he was mentioned is when they first arrive at Cheyenne Mountain. Then again, maybe he's been interacting the whole time, and I missed it. These characters are so interchangeable, I could have totally not realized it. I discovered in a prior chapter review I confused Colonel Keith with Agent Flannel, but it didn't matter. Nothing of importance was affected. These characters, do nothing. Affect nothing. Contribute nothing. This book is purely centered around the inner thoughts of this vapid mobile Speak-N-Spell.
Anyway, Vincent Park, forgettable character #24, brought her a guitar.
They talk about nothing important. She plays a Beatle song, he compliments her. And just so we don't think they are flirting, because Lindsay wants to hit high on that Bechdel Test, we're reminded Cora is a gay.
“You’re pretty good.”
“Thanks,” she said. “This is what happens when you go through a middle school phase where you both have a massive crush on and also want to be Ani DiFranco.”
Then he drops the bomb that Aunty was arrested.
The Chapter ends with an article about a power outage in Guam. If you remember this is where they captured the retard alien herd.

End of the worst chapter yet.

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Re: Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis/Hotdog girl

Post by pibbs » Sun Aug 02, 2020 2:33 am

Axiom's End by HotDog Girl
Chapter 22: The Millennial Files.Get it? Millennials come after Gen X! AND the show "Millennium" was an X-Files spin-off. Doubly clever! Fuck you, guys.
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
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Having slept off the alcohol binge from writing the last chapter, Lindsay gets pretentious to start the new one.
Kaplan had a seriousness about him, an odd melange of nonchalance and intensity, and the situation in the outside world made it even more unsettling.
Kaplan (Agent Flannel) demands to speak to & about the power outage in Guam. Oh, and he's bringing a folder of abductees for & to comment on.
She crossed her arms, looking around the room nervously while he continued to play with his accordion folder like it might produce music, and the two just existed in the painful silence.
Ugh, this phrasing. But at least we learn Agent Flannel is a member of the tribe.
“So…,” she mumbled. “Sol…”
“That’s me,” he sighed, leaving the accordion folder on the table, stretching out, and crossing one of his long legs over the other.
“Is that short for something?” she asked. “Like Sol the sun-god, or Saul the … not-Paul-the-Apostle-yet?”
Kaplan entwined his fingers in front of him and placed them on his lap. “Solomon.”
Then a phrase Lindsay finds so clever she uses it twice, within a half page.
Again, his eyes passed over her, this time his expression much cooler. “I guess you know your New Testament.”
“Saul, who becomes Paul.” He looked almost as uncomfortable as she did.
“Oh.” She stole a glance at him. “I guess I got the Catholic on me.”
“So why’s he call it The Broken Seal?” asked Sol. “Is that, like, a Bible thing, too?”
“Huh?” Where the hell did that come from? “I don’t know; he’s got the Catholic on him, too.”
Two sentences later.
“No, I don’t. I got the Jewish on me.”
More drivel.
The door opened behind her before he could say anything else, and in came Ampersand, already inching toward his antagonistic posture, positively radioactive with the desire not to be in this room.
Guam was just the baddy &s trying to disable good guy &s. Why Guam when the retard herd was already relocated? Fuck you, that's why.. The explanation in its entirety:
“The same as it was in Mountain View—to disable me for recapture and to disable the two Similars so they cannot mount a defense.”
Cora repeated him, then added, “Guam was the site where the Fremda group originally surrendered, wasn’t it?”
“You think that’s why?”
“It is unlikely Obelus discovered this through human networks or that his algorithm has successfully decoded human languages yet.” She repeated him.
Now about those abductees...
He opened a couple of the files, which contained what looked like conspiracy theorist rap sheets. Photos, dates, names of witnesses, and artist’s depictions for each file, each with a code name—HISPANIOLA, Sloop John B, Pequod, Flying Dutchman—ships, she realized. They were all code-named after fictional ships. Some she didn’t recognize, such as Rachel, Covenant, Gloria Scott, Nellie, Surprise, the Ark. Others, like Wonkatania, Poseidon, Nautilus, and African Queen, were more familiar.
“Poseidon?” she laughed. “As in The Poseidon Adventure?”
“As I said, these date back to the seventies.”
“And the Black Pearl?”
“… And some are more recent.”
A few of the artist’s renderings looked familiar to Cora; the file labeled Flying Dutchman, a.k.a. “Grays,” contained an artist’s rendering of the stereotypical humanoid Roswell alien with big black eyes. The file Nautilus, a.k.a. “Reptilians,” contained a rendering of a half-lizard, half-man. To Cora, they all looked absurd, especially the Reptilians. She couldn’t believe they took Reptilians seriously enough to have a file on them.
But 12-foot tall, thousand pound, albino dragon-raptors, that's downright genius?

I paused for a few minutes after this next passage. No commentary... just read it for yourself.
“The ROSA code names, traditionally Esperanto words—Dr. Ghasabian told me yours is”—he cocked his head, stumbling over the word—“‘Scio’?”
“We should probably just call him ‘Ampersand,’” said Cora.
“He doesn’t like it?”
“He doesn’t care. He says names are ‘arbitrary.’ But ‘Ampersand’ is how everyone knows him now. And that new one’s kinda silly.”
Yeah, Sol, Scio is silly.
“Sillier than ‘Ampersand’?” Kaplan raised his eyebrows. “He cares about that?”
“No. I do.”
Back to the folder.
Most of these we can prove as hoaxes. For instance, we have no intel to indicate that the Queen of England is a reptile person who needs to consume human blood to maintain her human form.”
“He says he doesn’t understand the rationale that human blood is a unique or preferable form of sustenance but that we shouldn’t preclude the possibility.” Cora looked at Ampersand to make sure she got that right, half expecting him to issue a correction.
We go through the folder, and & picks one out using telekinesis. Just hand it to her, asshole. Stop showing off. Oh! Apparently, we have a full on raptor alien species with a tail and a mouth.
“That one,” said Kaplan, “was of particular interest to us. We have several matching descriptions of a similar-bodied creature over three decades. The description isn’t that dissimilar to an amygdaline, except for the tail and the”—he gestured to his mouth—“maw.”
A sister species. At this point, I've lost track of the types of aliens. Nonetheless, world-building is more interesting than something actually happening.
these creatures all had dark, segmented tails. Also, unlike amygdalines, these things had mouthparts, big ones, like a grasshopper...
Also, in one of the artist’s renderings, the subject appeared to be consuming a human. A cheap sci-fi rendition of Goya’s Saturn eating his son. It looked like parody. It had to be. Ah. Ampersand has discovered humor and is joking. That’s nice.
Wait, & made a joke? Where? I missed that. I had to come to a complete stop here, and retrace my steps. This narrative is so disjointed, I didn't realize the joke was a page back, three subjects ago. I even quoted it above. The thing about human blood not being a preferable form of sustenance. The joke part, “but we shouldn't preclude the possibility.”
I don't know. I've long gotten weary of this dreadful writing, and maybe it just didn't click with me when I read it the first time.
Fuck it. Back to world-building.
“The sister species to modern amygdalines,” said Cora. “Transients. They share ancestry with amygdalines. He says, ‘I was a political prisoner to a transient pod for several decades, after they took me from a group of Similars.’”
Again, that sounds much more interesting to read than this crap -.The Adventures of Ampersand Jones and the Mothership of Doom.

This new species is nomadic, and probably has visited Erf, often.
“‘Know that, unlike amygdalines, transients reproduce quickly, have a very high metabolism, and are very difficult to kill. Transients can tear through planetary resources. Transients consume.’”

Again another more interesting story that we could have had. “Erf vs. the Space Raptors.” You don't think she's setting up the third act with this, do you? Hmmmmm?
A door burst open at the back of the room, causing both Cora and Sol to gasp. Like locusts, men in green uniform began pouring in. Not soldiers but officers. Every single one.
And at the core of the group, right in the middle, was the secretary of defense.
End of Chapter

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Re: Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis/Hotdog girl

Post by pibbs » Sun Aug 02, 2020 3:40 am

Axiom's End by HotDog Girl
Chapter 23: More Talking
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
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& is pissy to the military people.

End of Chapter

Oh, and guv'ment wants to learn &'s language. & says foolish mortal, you know not what you ask. Well, in Lindsay's dumb words anyway. And more lib shit how ebil US guv'ment is.
Shit like this.
“‘There is a native ethnic group in this country that predates the current dominant European ethnic group that endured many modifications at the hands of the more powerful Europeans. Some modifications to the natives were self-imposed, such as the adoption of horses and ammunition; others forced upon them, such as religion, language, and raiment. But the fact remains that there was a more powerful entity that imposed itself upon the less powerful entity through violent means, cultural imperialism, disease, and otherwise.
Superorganisms = European settlers
Hooomans = The Indians
Got it? Good.

End of Chapter

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Re: Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis/Hotdog girl

Post by pibbs » Sun Aug 02, 2020 5:35 am

Axiom's End by HotDog Girl
Chapter 24: Twilight. Oh, God no!
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
protected by Fair Use, bitch

Cora and & scoot on over to the autopsy room, where Cefo is still decomposing on the table. The sac-o-eggs have been removed however. Cora curls up into a fetal position inside of a metal cabinet. I'm not really sure where & went.
She has a flashback to mommy and daddeh fighting. She worries about her family. Aunty is arrested, and since everyone knows that the President knows about aliens, her family may not get immunity... because of reasons.

Then we go all Star Wars... literally.
She pulled her hands away from her ears just long enough to twist her hair into two identical ropes, which she wrapped around her ears like cinnamon rolls.
This wasn’t a closet; it was a holding cell, and she was a prisoner slated for termination. This wasn’t a condominium complex adjacent to Cornell University; it was the Death Star. She was Princess Leia, and she’d just survived torture by Darth Vader.
Read the rest of this shit hereShow
She’d just watched her planet be destroyed. She didn’t crack under torture. But she’d be terminated soon. It was okay, though. She did her duty. Leia stayed strong because she was.
Then the door slid open, and a short stormtrooper entered. He told her his name was Luke Skywalker and he was here to rescue her. She wasn’t alone anymore. Leia was up and ready at a moment’s notice. She even had to help them shoot their way out of this. That’s how strong she was. It didn’t matter how she’d suffered. She could survive anything.
Soon, they were off the Death Star. Soon, they were charging toward safety, readying a new battle plan. Because they were the Rebellion. Princess Leia was strong. Princess Leia had friends, yes, but she could also fight her way out of anything. Princess Leia was not alone.
Then we flashback to 12 year old Cora curled up in her closet crying. This is the Inception of closet bawling. More scattered Star Wars metaphors, mixed with teenage angst, and inner dialog.

& finds her and flings open the door.
“Are you nesting?” asked the voice in her ear.
“What?” she breathed, sniffing and trying to wipe away the effluvium flooding out of her face.
“Are you making a den?”
Ok, That was funny. Credit where credit is due.

He closes the door to leave her alone to introspect, reflect, and cry about daddeh. She hears & fiddling with plastic wrap like a cat. He flings open the door with three sleeping bags and asks if he can touch her. He removes her from the cabinet then places three sleeping bags with cushions in there, and picks her up and settles her down. Aww haw haw! He made her a more comfy nest.
LOL. It's funny, it's cute, and maybe the most original thing Lindsay has done to this point. I think maybe someone else wrote this part.

Then she starts to whine to what I imagine is a mortified & about how helpless she feels. Surprisingly she worries about her family again.
But & comforts her.
“Your government will not alter them, mentally or otherwise. They are in no immediate danger. Does this comfort you?”
& offers to feed her. She ain't hungry. Ok my suspension of disbelief just broke and fell into the River Bullshit.
If you are not hungry and you are not in pain, perhaps you are in need of emotional comfort. But for that, I need instruction.”
Dude, this is a woman. You ain't going to get a straight answer to that. They want you to kiss their ass, pamper them, and stress yourself to figure out what they want. IF they even know what the fuck they want!
She reached for the long fingers folded in front of him, before she stopped and asked, “Do you consent?”
Her fingers shook a little as she touched his hand where the fingers met, the “palm,” and she tried to imagine how to retrofit those digits for a task designed for human hands.
She leaned forward and slid the front four digits of his left hand behind her back. She tried to do the same with his right but stopped when they naturally fell on her head. She flinched, an instinctive contraction at the touch of such a foreign thing, then relaxed. “General rule of thumb for comforting but not-too-intimate touching—hand-holding is good, back is okay—above the hips, that is. Try rhythmic motions against the skin. Head is good, though face is a little weird. Not too hard or it hurts; not too soft or it tickles.”
“Rhythmic motions against the skin,” he repeated.
She felt his fingers graze the skin behind her ear, and it was a little breathtaking. The grazing became short and pulsing, like he was scratching an itch, and she couldn’t help but smile.
“Longer strokes and longer intervals is good,” she said. “Like, maybe ten inches of skin every five seconds.
running two digits from the top of her scalp to just below her ear, uncanny, mechanical—the exact same amount of time over the exact same skin, over and over.
Almost of its own volition, she saw her right hand lifting from her lap toward his “face,” toward that space between his eyes where a nose should be. She only just managed to reclaim autonomy over her arm and stop it...
His skin had the same cat’s tongue texture that the Genome’s skin had, albeit much softer and barely perceptible....
...he wasn’t unfathomable at all. They were both made of the same star stuff...
Not wanting to overstay her welcome, she removed her hand. “Thank you,” she whispered.

If this turns into space furry porn, I'm not finishing this shit. I'm telling you right now.
“Cutting and compelling!” - John Svalzi
I would prefer you stay on as my interpreter... But you are not my slave. The decision is yours.”
She nodded eagerly. “I’ll stay with you.”
“You have been a valuable asset,” he said. “I shall endeavor to be a better caretaker until we part ways.”
Until we part ways. With those four words alone, the emptiness came back, and again she ached.
Have feminists created such a dilemma for themselves, that they can't admit they have this romantic neediness for men? That (in their minds) it will make them look weak, so they have to fantasy fuck the undead, furry beasts, sea creatures and now space raptors? Maybe Lindsay is trolling everyone? I could respect that. That's Super-Saiyan trolling, right there.. But no. She hasn't demonstrated any of the cleverness needed. She's getting off on this. Everything is so fucked up.]

Dubya bush resigns. Cheney takes over. Lib screeching for next chapter intesifying!

End of a fucked up chapter, though I fear the worst is yet to come.

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Re: Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis/Hotdog girl

Post by pibbs » Sun Aug 02, 2020 11:59 pm

Axiom's End by HotDog Girl
Chapter 25: SchlAmpersand's List
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
protected by Fair Use, bitch

Great, now I find myself going into these chapters with apprehension (more than usual) wondering if this is the chapter that Lindsay lives out her sick, moist, middle-aged, wine fantasy of fucking a space raptor.

On with the shit show.
Fuck me. Another long chapter. This usually indicates world-building.
Cora woke in her cabinet nest, & had fucked off somewhere. He transmits his 1020. There's a cue of nondescript characters outside the door presumably waiting for & to tell them to bugger off. They get to work on building that translator device so hooomans can speak with the superorganism.

Cora plays guitar for &. He has questions, because the internet has confused him. Join the club, pal.
He gets asked the “Great Filter” question. Basically, why ain't there more intelligent life out there if life is so abundant? Is there a great filter out there? The answer: because intelligence is the filter. It's hard to be smart.
He rubs her head.

In less than two days they built a prototype translator.

Lindsay over-explains linguistics between hooomans and her made up bullcrap.
That evening, after she returned to her bunk and shut herself inside, she was all nerves, hoping he would come back again. Afraid that he would come back again.
This hack-ass writing.
Ampersand finally appeared in her bunk approximately fifty years later...
Just stop with this snarky shit. You don't do it well.
They play a card game. Crazy Eights.
Soon, they found themselves on the topic of human sexuality
Of course, trying to learn English using the internet meant having to wade through mountains and mountains of pornography, and this appeared to comprise the majority of what he understood about human reproduction. “It seems violent and painful,” he observed. “Especially for the females.”
“It never has been for me.”
“Then why do the actors perform the affect of pain?”

She blushes and giggles.
“Those are actors, you are right about that. But they are performing the affect of pleasure noises, not pain noises. They’re heightened for the performance aspect. In real life, it’s not usually that loud.”
“I do not know the lived experience of human love.” He paused, then a block of words: “Can you subjectively explain to me what sexual pleasure feels like? Or what it is to have a sense of smell?
Absolute poetry.
Then turning on a fucking dime...
“Are genetic purges common?”
“Yes, but not like this,” he said. “Typically, they are decided hundreds of years in advance. Ours was sudden. Politically motivated.”
“Genocide,” said Cora airily...
”My life from before the purge may be disconcerting or frightening to you. My life after was difficult and painful.”
I imagine him lifting his gaze to the ceiling as a small tear forms in the corner of his eye. Sad piano music playing on the soundtrack.

More Q&A: Cefo and Esperas are sorta like senators. The superorganism has a strict caste system. All serve for the greater good of the superorganism. Damn, I hate that word. Every time I have to stop myself from typing superorgasm. Can't use “the collective” because Lindsay had & spaz over that terminology. They's ain't no hive mind. Sounds like they're like pre-WWII Japanese, actually.

So the sister species, the transients (stupid), took over a planet and the super-O annihilated them, along with all other life. “The oceans boiled.”
Cora REEE's internally and on her face.
“After the sterilization, the Autocrat solicited ‘studies’ to determine what it was about the dissenting Oligarchs, and indeed, the segment of the population at large, that so opposed the idea of genocide. The studies concluded that this segment of the population that we label ‘Fremdan’ has an inherent biological defect owing to their breeding.”
“Opposing genocide is a defect?”
“Any viewpoint that might place the lives of aliens at equal value to that of our own was considered a defect. Therefore, in the interest of finishing the transient genocide, the Fremdan population must be purged.”
She braced herself. “How many?”
Take a guess, the number Lindsay chooses for those killed in the genocide that the government deemed a threat.
6 million.
& is a holocaust survivor.

Fuck this book.
End of Chapter

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Re: Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis/Hotdog girl

Post by pibbs » Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:57 am

Axiom's End by HotDog Girl
Chapter 26: Apocalypse How?
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
protected by Fair Use, bitch

Cora and Agent Flannel talk in the cafeteria. No word how many pancakes Cora gorged herself on. There was another power outage, this time at the base that the retard herd had been held at.
She froze, her oatmeal-laden spoon midair, her mouth hanging open. A plume of fear blossomed in her chest.
Over-written horseshit.
“Where we were last week,”
Thanks for spelling it out, Linds.
At Flannel's prodding, Cora goes to see what the scientists have been translating.
“Says Esperas: ‘In forcing us to stay in their custody’—we assume he’s addressing Ampersand—‘you are consigning us to death.’”

Esperas: ‘There is no legacy outside the context of a superorganism. The issue cannot be mere survival. Survival to what end? No function within a greater superorganism? If our endeavor is survival with no legacy, what reason is there to live?’

Esperas: ‘The Genome is our only hope for a legacy of Fremda. If we surrender it to Obelus, we are accepting death and the void. No legacy.’

“Ah, but we did get a clear translation of this gem, courtesy of ?efo: ‘If we don’t communicate with human civilization, we are consigning them and ourselves to death.’

?efo: ‘We have little time before Similars arrive; I must learn to communicate with human civilization.’
“Says Esperas: ‘The Superorganism will sterilize Earth if it discovers that there has been any communication with us. To avoid sterilization, do not attempt to communicate.’
“Sayeth ?efo: ‘Earth will be sterilized regardless.’”
Basically, if Super-O fears that if hooomans taint &s with their dirty ideas, then they will ID4 the Erf.

And now we interrupt our “story” for needless woke REEEEEing.
Cora’s stunned, existential horror melted into indignation and then to anger. Typical, she thought. Of course you don’t really get too worked up about issues that won’t affect your generation. Men his age weren’t too fussed about the potentiality for man-made climate change to pose an existential threat to human civilization. Why should hostile aliens be any different?
Cora goes to find aliens Woodward and Bernstein.
Being among the smallest of the group, with deep obsidian eyes, these two fell the closest to what one might consider cute, but that accessibility belied something careful, almost conniving. They were, after all, “propagandists.” Even if Ampersand’s word choice was only half-accurate, part of their raison d’etre was finding the best way to push an agenda.
Since Arrival had inky images, we need something else for alien writing... hmmmm?
The Pequod-phonemic “written” translation of her words appeared on the opposite side of the tablet; it looked more like freckles than writing.
Why was there a purge? Because their group thinks other species are ok. The Similars gained much influence in Super-O wigwam. Other species not our species, them bad species. Kill em.
But poor persecuted & race, think that's bad. Super-O thinks THEY'RE bad. GENOCIDE!
But we the retard herd like the hooomans. Ghee! Can we live wif youuuuu??

Esperas had wanted to take sack-o-egg and bugger off planet to start a colony. & wanted to stay. Thats why they had their verbal sissy fight earlier.

Chapter ends with a letter from daddeh to his wife from 4 years ago.. He grants the divorce and whines that she didn't believe him. Some shit how the Iraq war was unjustified. The sheep allowed the Patriot Act.
Fuck you. My eyes can only roll so far to the back of my head.

End of Chapter.

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Re: Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis/Hotdog girl

Post by pibbs » Mon Aug 03, 2020 2:05 am

Axiom's End by HotDog Girl
Chapter 27: Axiom's Razor
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
protected by Fair Use, bitch

& is ready to leave.
She plays a sad song on her guitar.
Music is a language, says &. So profound.
And the music is as difficult to explain as their third language, the high language.
GET IT??!!

He offers to help sneak her out to go for a moonlight stroll or some shit.
She smiled despite herself, drawing her legs up to her chest, anxious, excited, frightened. “Why?”
“Because it pleases me.”
The part of her that was frightened gave way to excitement, and she felt her heart swell. This was an irresponsible thing to do. A dangerous thing to do. “Yes,” she breathed.
So &... he... oozes out something like the T-1000. It's a transport plate... like Stewie Griffin's?
the metal spread over his entire body until he was encased in it, and once encased, he disappeared.
“This explains so much,” said Cora.
Does it?

They can go anywhere in the world, but she chooses to go check on her dogs. Lady, it's been weeks. If no one fed them, they are dead.
”Thor?” she called weakly, already knowing they weren’t here. “Monster Truck?”
Only the distant wail of an ambulance cut through the silence.
They’re dead, she thought, and her innards churned.
I told you.
& wonders why she has animals if she isn't going to consume them. That convenient arbitrary knowledge of hooomans of his.
“Can you take us someplace clear?” she asked. “Someplace where we can see the stars?”
“Tell me where you would like to go.”
She looked back up at the sky. “I don’t have an exact place in mind,” she said. “The desert somewhere, maybe, between here and Colorado. Death Valley, Mojave, Joshua Tree?”
If there's a full moon, I'm going to go jump out a window.
*poof desert.
But there could be scary snakes and stuff. It's soooo dark.
But barrel-chested space raptor, with his raven hair wafting in the wind, won't let anything happen to her.
Now that her eyes had adjusted to the dark, she could see the reflected glow of the starlight in his eyes.
Which star is yours, my starman?
Derp. Can't see it. The Super-O surrounds it like a Dyson's Sphere.
& knows what a Dyson's Sphere is? But couldn't understand the concept of a pet?

She pouts. She doesn't want him to leave. Do you consent? Yes. She grabs his hand. Is this a metoo thing Linds is trying to convey? No unwanted touching? Get permission for everything? What a phony. Linds loves to be man-handled, especially by a Pakistani in a wolf costume. Sick bitch.

Now several pages ripped from a telenovella script...
You must stay!
No, I must go!
Because you are in danger!
But we can protect you.
No one can protect us!
An axiom developed that planets that support life are so competitive and dangerous that advanced civilizations can never evolve, and advancements such as ours are unlikely to the point of impossibility.
Ooooh. Axiom's End. I get it. Here I just thought it was a pretentious title, thought up during a box of wine bender.
Still stupid. though.
“You are the civilization that disproves this axiom. You would be both the greatest discovery in the history of the Superorganism and the greatest threat to its conception of itself as divinely unique.”
“I do not have the power to stop it," he said. "And the Friends group cannot stay on this planet.”
*cue dramatic music
End of Chapter

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Re: Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis/Hotdog girl

Post by pibbs » Mon Aug 03, 2020 2:45 am

Axiom's End by HotDog Girl
Chapter 28: True Lies
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
protected by Fair Use, bitch

Agent Flannel looks like shit and is moping about. He's become Spoony.
“And we still know next to nothing,” said Sol. “Knowing their civilization might, hypothetically maybe want to destroy us in a few hundred years is probably worse than knowing nothing.”
Honestly, why would they really give a shit? It's a few hundred years away. You've got time to invent super weapons, assholes. This is as dumb as worrying about people knowing aliens exist. Which by the way, now that they do, nothing of note has happened with that. Except Dubya resigned. For some reason. Everything about this is stupid.

Flannel accuses Cora of siding with the raptor.
“Look, I understand that you’re … that maybe you trust the alien a little more than you trust me.”
“You think?”
“You should know better,” he said, ignoring her shortness. “They hammer this point home all the time at ROSA—you can’t anthropomorphize them.”
Or fuck them. Especially don't fuck them.
“To Amps, you aren’t a person. Deep down, you know this—you’re excess detritus as soon as your usefulness wears out.”
Side note: Lindsay has this weird writing habit. She'll use a word or phrase a few times close together, then never use it again. Like “shit show”, or “flinch”. Here she uses “detritus”, She also used it in the last chapter to describe Cora's house. Didn't use it before, and I'd be surprised if she uses it again.
Just weird is all.

Anyway, Cora demands to know what's up with her family. Are they going to get their minds wiped?
Flannel laughs at her.
Cora be mad.
“You act like the apple falls so far from the tree,” he said, wiping his eyes. “But you are just like your father. Oh, don’t give me that look.”
Daddeh started the rumor of the mind-wipes. To appease his online paypig trannys. Just like Lindsay. Finally, writing in her wheelhouse.
“So you’re saying it didn’t happen?” Cora demanded, her voice much angrier than she felt.
“Oh, no, it happened!” said Sol, getting up out of his chair and circling the table, stopping right at her feet. “It absolutely happened. But here, I’m going to let you in on a state secret, and don’t you tell anyone.” He placed his hands on Cora’s shoulders, holding them fast. “We have only one suspect for who is responsible for the disappearances in Pomona and Altadena. He’s even here! In this very complex!” He leaned into her ear, seeming to savor this, and whispered, “But he sure as hell does not work for the U.S. Government.”
Dun dun duuuuuunnn!
I don't remember what happened in Pomona and Altadena, and I'm not looking it up. I'm sure she'll rehash it on the very next page, when Cora will probably ambush &, cries then fucks him. Let's see if I'm right. And no cheating here, I write this commentary as I read the book.
*turns the page
He admits to being responsible for the people that disappeared and returned with brain damage!
Rehash. Cora was the third one he tried to infiltrate Google, remember?
Apparently, he only got three to Beetle Juice-walk in there, but in total he attempted 14 with varying degrees of success.
Did... did you kill anyone, &?
Yes. But not on Erf.
Are we not people to you, &?
Are we not people to you, Cora?
We can't get along.
She runs off to the reservoir to get away from him.
Should she cast herself in, and be done with it?
& will leave soon enough and it will all be over.
She felt a low, deep rumble in the distance, sensed a bright light coming through the tunnel. It made her light-headed, punched her as if a bottle of vodka had flooded her system...
Write what you know.
Then the blast doors began to close.
End of Chapter

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Re: Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis/Hotdog girl

Post by pibbs » Mon Aug 03, 2020 3:15 am

Axiom's End by HotDog Girl
Chapter 29: Bored Games
DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
protected by Fair Use, bitch

Lights flickering, blast doors closing! Should Cora let herself be locked in, or run through them to the outside?
She stays inside.
She must make her way back to him.
But will he still be mad bro?
But they can't get back there.
Flannel and his partner Vincent stop her.
The way is shut.
The equipment is down.
O heavens be, they could be catatonic on the floor!
Vincent clapped a hand over her mouth. “Calm down!” he snapped in a voice she hadn’t thought him capable of.
She tore his hand away. She knew she wasn’t helping her case, but she couldn’t contain her panic. It was a miracle they’d gotten away from the Google campus—she didn’t expect to get away again. “Don’t you get it? Those doors aren’t going to keep them out!”
Then Cora felt a rumble, something deep and quiet like one of the minor earthquakes that one got used to after living in Southern California for a while, barely noticeable. Seconds later, a second tremor, this one strong enough to nearly knock her off her feet. The springs under the main complex creaked and groaned, and the loud chatter of the airmen yelling at each other also ceased. Everyone braced themselves.
...after a hundred chapters, SOMETHING happens!
Then another rumble shook them, and the three of them fell to their knees. The rock ceiling above split the room with a deafening crack. Another rumble, this one louder and closer. Then the sound of a collapse, some machinery falling, metal crunching, airmen barking out orders.
Then the wall of the cavern split, and a deep snapping sound echoed throughout the bunker. Whatever was coming in was already on them, right on the other side of the blast doors. Vincent grabbed Cora, pushed her to her feet and against the wall of the cavern, and then forced her down onto her stomach.
All is silent. But the blast doors are gone!
Silhouetted, is a Similar!
It's Meteor #2, Obelus! And he's bringing his bros!
They go invisible and bugger off.
The agents and Cora run out into the night.
They grab a Jeep (uh, Lindsay, it would be a Hummer. Jeeps haven't been used as a standard vehicle for the military since the 80s really. But I get it, research is hard.)
They get to the choppas!
Someone arrives and hands them something in Tupperware.
Off to a military transport jet.
They open the plastic container.
It's the sack-o-egg!

End of Chapter

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