"Class of 86" - Brad Jones' Masturbatorial Book Debut

[Dehbashi]

If he is copying a movie, that explains why the characters sound cartoony.

Seriously wanting to kill a guy because he refused to help you with your paper?

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Seriously wanting to kill a guy because he refused to help you with your paper?

After they've already graduated no less, so they've probably waited months for this bit of revenge.

[Complicity]

Dammit, this seems familiar too. Some movie.

Slaughter High 1986! That's the fucking movie this reminded me of earlier. Similar plot. Nerd lured by hottie, shit goes wrong and nerd is burned by acid. Years later he lures them back to the school and starts killing them off one by one. So... is that the plot of this book? Except with a nuclear war throw in the middle?

Nah:



Brad forgot to have one of the jocks say that Nerd was stressing him.
And Biden Brad will get together with Diana Laura in the end.
Maybe after she will turn blind because of something something nuclear explosion, i guess.

"Wait, hang on," Vic interjected. "I assure you Diana is very upset about this situation too. She was rough as fuck in bed last night. Her dad thought that she secretly bought a dog and was punishing it for pissing on her books. That's how weird my sex noises got, and she was really scary; I hadn't seen her that mad before."

>Dad listens to his daughter fucking
>Laura, Vic Mignogna or both sound like a beaten dog while fucking

How very Brad.

Laura walks past the food court and the others and goes to the empty arcade where Nerd is playing Donkey Kong.

Donkey Kang, the only vidya of 1986.

[wulfenlord]

Still hoping the toxic avenger reboot with Peter Dinklage won't be wokened up for current sensibilities

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Still hoping the toxic avenger reboot with Peter Dinklage won't be wokened up for current sensibilities

The Toxic Avenger will mutate into his true gender. Except it's not perfect so he can still suffer from dysphoria and have those mean TERFs be technically correct when they point out he's not a woman.
It's basically the plot of the troon capeshit novel Dreadnought

[Complicity]

Pretty sure there will be something ripped off from this too:



I mean, something other than the very concept behind the book, and its title.
Maybe Laura will give birth to some mutant.

[Lindsay's Liver]

I'm getting sold on Brad's book.

The idea of the build-up to apocalypse being in the background of a story is an old one. The two most serious 80s nuclear war movies, "Threads" and "The Day After", did it like that. Escalating global tension gets hinted at on radios and TVs that are on while the characters are living their normal lives, never really thinking that WWIII is about to happen, and then BOOM.

[pibbs]

Speaking of Toxic Avenger, Brad loves Llyod Kaufman, the man heading Troma production company behind many of these movies. Brad's late cat was named Llyod, and Kaufman even played Brad's dad in Another Cinema Snob Movie.
As well as the two mentioned, Toxic Avenger, Nuke 'Em High, they made a fuck load of low budget schlock horror.

[pibbs]

Class of '86 by Based Brad Jones
Chapter 7: The Walls Come Down
or Smoke Em if You Nuke Em
A DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs

Laura wakes up and is annoyed that her usual music on the radio is replaced by the stupid news.

voice. "The countdown has started," said the nervous reporter on the radio. "Our nation anxiously awaits word from President Reagan, who can now be seen walking to the podium to give this, the most important speech of his presidency."

She turns it off. Time to get ready for graduation! Hard to enjoy, as she has a strange feeling something badis about to happen. No shit, stupid bitch.


This is chapter 7 out of 18 BTW. Why aren't we already deep into the aftermath of a nuclear war? 1/3 of this book so far is burning a nerd, and fucking. And the nerd burning was only 4 paragraphs.

I didn't write much about chapter 5 because it was a lot of this kind of shit...

Her mom was still comforting her with a smile and her calm demeanor. "I remember when I graduated. I was terrified about what I was going to do with my life. I didn't know if I would have money, and I didn't know if I could get a job. I didn't know if I was goin g to stay in touch with my friends."
"What happened?"
"I found out I was pregnant, and then I married your father.

Dad is at the kitchen table upset about his morning paper.

"I can't find the funny pages," he said, annoyed.

Diana took the paper and noticed that there was an article about Fletcher. The headline read "Great Ball of Fire" and laid out in graphic detail what happened to Fletcher and that he was currently in the hospital due to his severe burns.
"Someone is going to look bad in their graduation photo," her dad joked.

It's funny because it's cruel, and no father would say that, huh? Huh? Funny right?

Laura meets up with her cohorts and is not happy about poor ole Nerd and his Lexi is just mad that she was included on the caper.

"He's suffering third degree burns on 99.9% of his body," said Diana. "Doctors had to transfer him to the burn unit inside of the psych ward. It's not good."[/quote]

Ok. This is nutty. I've decided I'm just going to go with it. This isn't high literature, it's a book written by the Cinema Snob not Faulkner or Steinbeck. At least it's not boring.

"He's not going to remember any of this. He's a charred nerd, not an elephant.”

Laura still mad.

Vic, also feeling guilty, put his arm around Diana to try to calm her down. "Diana, think about it. Lilith is right, maybe. In the future, what is any of this going to even matter? It's a prank that got out of hand. We're all broken up about it, I'm sure, and if we aren't now, then we will be after a few drinks." "Oh yeah," Kurt scoffed. "Get me a beer, lets pour one out for Fletcher."

Only about a quarter of graduating students showed up for the graduation ceremony.

For the few that did show up,

students at graduation, and most of them seemed pre-occupied with anything but graduating.

Laura has to give the valedictorian speech because the real one didn't show, because he's now a burnt tater tot in a psych ward. (that was my phrasing this time)

The principal,

"It was going to be Fletcher. I can't wheel a kid up there in a coma and have him vomit up a speech, no matter how sympathetically he would come across."

She gives the speech and praises Nerd and pleads for kindness in the world. She finishes by saying,

you may realize that none of this really matters. We're all graduating today, but, let’s be honest, we're going to spend the rest of the day talking about Top Gun. If I have any advice or reflection, it's to do whatever it takes to help your fellow survivor, because some of us will be Maverick. But others, those like Goose, well, life might just set them on fire as we all feast on the ashes.
Only half of the attendees clapped when she was finished, and it was an awkward clap, the kind where they weren't sure what the speech meant, or if it was even over.

Among the small crowd the words "Who the hell is Fletcher?"

Laura leaves on foot to go visit Nerd in the hospital.

As she walked the streets, angry drivers kept passing by each other, honking, and screaming obscenities at each other as if there was a traffic jam. Each car also had a ton of luggage strapped to the roof as if they had all packed at the last minute. Diana didn't notice any of this.

Just noticed Brad has used both “psych ward” and “psyche ward” and I'm not totally sure which is right, both passed spell check, but pick one dude. Anyway, the hospital is a ghost town, but she bumps into Nerd's mom.

"He's in there," she said. "Just be careful, ok.? I maybe spilled some salt on him from my snacks. He couldn't make a noise due to the coma, but I'm sure it still hurt."

Nerd looks exactly like any comedy TV show that has a dude totally wrapped in bandages. She tears up and hopes all turns out well for him.

Before she left, she took off her cap and gown and left them on Fletcher's chair, so at least he could have some sense of the day being Graduation Day. She still didn't notice what was going on with the television as she walked by it leaving the room. By this point, there were no anchors on the TV news. Instead, it was just images of bombs going off, and missiles flying through the sky. It was going to be a long summer.

FINALLY! And look! No fucking. Huh.

End of chapter.
End of Part One

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

This is chapter 7 out of 18 BTW. Why aren't we already deep into the aftermath of a nuclear war? 1/3 of this book so far is burning a nerd, and fucking. And the nerd burning was only 4 paragraphs.

You see, Brad needed this much book real-estate in order to introduce and flesh out these unique and multi-faceted characters.