Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue

[wulfenlord]

So, Spoonycon 2022 at his old mansion? Reenacting Aprils grotto of lust? Cocktailbar under the dead tree?

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

I hope whoever owns it now uploads a tour of the place on YT.

[Guest]

So let me get this straight. It sells for 275,000, which is then becomes Noah's money, which is then subtracted from his debt? So does he actually make a profit from this or does he at least clear his debt?

[Guest]

So let me get this straight. It sells for 275,000, which is then becomes Noah's money

No. The bank repossessed his house. The bank sold his house and they will take that $275,000 and then Noah owes them the difference (between what they sold it for and what he hasn't paid)

[Guest]

No. The bank repossessed his house. The bank sold his house and they will take that $275,000 and then Noah owes them the difference (between what they sold it for and what he hasn't paid)

But how much could he possibly owe in mortgage payments though? And after the house was foreclosed, did he have to keep paying or was it an unexpected free room and board for over 1 year's time?

[Le Redditeur]

He was supposed to keep paying. He owes big money to the bank.

[Guest]

But how much could he possibly owe in mortgage payments though?

I think he bought the house for at least $300,000 and I don't think he paid anything on the mortgage beyond the initial deposit. The bank are selling this at a loss.

And after the house was foreclosed, did he have to keep paying or was it an unexpected free room and board for over 1 year's time?

In theory, yeah he still has to pay them. In practice, the bank are probably well aware they're never going to see that money again so what they'll probably end up doing is wrecking his credit rating so he can't borrow anything from anyone ever again.

[InfoAnon]

So let me get this straight. It sells for 275,000, which is then becomes Noah's money

No. The bank repossessed his house. The bank sold his house and they will take that $275,000 and then Noah owes them the difference (between what they sold it for and what he hasn't paid)

I guess we already have some bullshit in this thread from the lurking Redditors.

Noah is, until the papers are filed, still the owner of the house. The bank didn't repossess the house and they never have the title.

In a short sale, the delinquent shithead and the bank agree to list the house for less than is owed. We don't know the number that Noah owes but we know some of the numbers in play. We do know he owed about $180k on the mortgage at the time of foreclosure. Add to that 2 years of missed mortgage payments (from September 2019 to July 2021) for about $25k, two years of missed property taxes for another $20k, Homeowner Association fees, them cutting his grass, cleaning out the property after he left, paying his insurance, and penalties accruing monthly on top of late fees and interest for all of this shit and it was most definitely above $250k and probably higher and they will have only now stopped adding to his tab.

Three things about the short sale agreement between Noah and the bank:

1. Noah had to write a "hardship letter." This is a real letter, on paper, in which Noah will have begged for mercy from the bank and to implore them to agree to a short sale. It's one of the weird old timey legacies of the real estate business. I wish we could find that, but that will probably never be public.

Once the bank agrees, it's listed as a "short sale" (so the buyer knows what they're getting into). Noah is still the owner at this point. Typically the agreement states that the deadbeat has to move out within 10 days of signing or the deal is void.

2. The bank agrees to cover all real estate agent fees and commissions. These are pretty big expenses when you're selling a house.

3. The deadbeat seller completely foregoes any possibility of profit. There is ZERO chance Noah will see a penny from this, even if Oreo's shit hardened into diamonds spread throughout the backyard and the property were sold for $10 million. The sale price goes directly to the bank per the agreement. It will never even touch Noah's hands.

But how much could he possibly owe in mortgage payments though?

I think he bought the house for at least $300,000 and I don't think he paid anything on the mortgage beyond the initial deposit. The bank are selling this at a loss.

And after the house was foreclosed, did he have to keep paying or was it an unexpected free room and board for over 1 year's time?

In theory, yeah he still has to pay them. In practice, the bank are probably well aware they're never going to see that money again so what they'll probably end up doing is wrecking his credit rating so he can't borrow anything from anyone ever again.

He bought the house for $230k in 2015. He paid on the mortgage for four years, you fucking idiot, he just didn't pay down much of the principle, which is how all 30 year mortgages work.

They likely stacked up enough fees that he probably still owes them a deficiency. They might chase him for it, but probably won't if at the end of their Jew math it turns out to be less than $20k.

Hilariously, that's kind of even worse if they forgive it: it counts as a gift and he'll have to pay taxes on it.

[rabidtictac]

I don't think the bank will bother chasing his ass for the difference. He simply doesn't have it. He has no assets worth enough to sell to cover the deficiency. He drives a shit car, has no home and owns only moldy gamershit.

[Complicity]

Well, if this is not a happy ending, i don't know what is.
Unless the dipshit resurfaces,



Maybe this time he won't.
Not only because his caretaker would be a complete imbecile to allow him to use Twatter, but also because the more time passes the more scared he will be of people reminding him that he is a homeless failure and that the branch has more resilience than his testicles, and he knows they will be there the moment he logs in and opens his stupid mouth.